poetry – Page 3 – PoeEternal

Posted on April 1, 2023 by poeeternal · 10 Comments

Morgue

There’s a body in the morgue
A cold mentor
Like a mirror I can’t ignore
I don’t know what I’m living for

Free speech and peace and quiet is a God given human right!!!!! These monsters have stolen basic decency! But I’m not allowed to discuss immigration or sex toys sold openly everywhere in America!!!! I’m censored!!!!! To discuss matters in group therapy making me suicidal!!!! Oh god, fuck you! Fuck “therapy”!

You should be fighting for free speech! Stop being a pushover! As a consumer, we should have some say how businesses are run! Too much waste! Stop destroying the rain forest and ocean!

I live in fight or flight mode, so my poetry never has time to sit on the shelf.

Lately, I’m trying to “play dead” and be in fawn mode. This is a legit strategy taught by the Army and used in the wild to bore the predators who want a “fresh meal” and “not dead meat”.

Just don’t let the elite cover you in “natural flavor”.

He’s a hypocrite if he eats that shit.

Furthermore, they put it in the cheap food and the organic food – it was made in a lab! It ain’t natural! Stop gaslighting!!!!!

Y’all dropping hundred dollar bills for foam shoes – that cause cancer.

I can’t even find small cotton panties and now I need XS potentially.

The sizing charts have changed and I’m elite being 110 pounds in America with roughly two out of three adults being overweight.

Yet, yesterday hanging out with squirrels and feeding them, the big kids were rolling their eyes at me – just like the overweight BLM female entering the mall –

We’ve been asking “do cellphone’s cause cancer” and they said everything but what we wanted to hear. Now when shopping for phones, they come with a cancer warning.

FYI

“Reproductive harm”

They’re nihilist’s destroying the world with synthetics and AI!

Black and Latino and Asian lives matter! But Native American and white lives don’t! Check the CENSUS!

And they identify as us!!! Laughs! Wait what!?!

The Great Race war is real – and Asia moving in on the news

The Great Replacement theory!

White man isn’t the only one corruptible or evil! He’s the pawn used in the whole game! By the Asians and yellow fever propaganda!

Posted on April 1, 2023 by poeeternal · 7 Comments

Matthew 7:13

John Jones took the narrow gate
He did not hesitate
But ohh the words he cried
Upside down he died

My poetry is so elementary huh

He yells at me to grow up and I cry that I never did

Men aren’t doing what they were originally programmed to do

I’ve been busy trying to save the world while they destroy it – I haven’t had a chance to work on me

America was sold out and topics are being censored in group therapy which means my free speech has been impeded upon, I will throw a fit and not participate (quit/disconnect the video call/walk out)

I draw lines

Sometimes I draw guns

Disabled not dead

Trigger happy

Able and capable

Don’t think I can play with the big toys yet – like my m16 – kickback

I got a girl / you want to meet her / her name is 9mm

Posted on March 31, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Ghosted

I’ve ghosted God
Down in the thick fog
Sent him a note
Called self a fraud

I’ve ghosted God
My love is broad
Yellow like a goldenrod
Quarantined but outlawed

I’ve ghosted God
Go ahead applaud
Turn your head and nod
I am a hotshot

Chill out. I talk to God daily. I’m just quarantined. I don’t want him to see me. It’s just a poem.

Baby squirrel brought a boy squirrel around. He had nuts. She’s maybe a few months old, him too. He’s timid and shy. Her pp did not have nuts. Now I’m not an expert on squirrel biology or anything – but she’s probably going to have babies.

They love whatever I feed them.

Lizard climbed the drain pipe to the roof, he also jumped and climbed the tall palm tree. I was amazed by lizard’s skills, not getting blown away by the wind, or eaten by a big bird

The neighbors think I’m wacko

I don’t think they can see the wildlife the way I do

Red bird has been appearing so I took her some seeds

They are eating my own personal organic stash of nuts, rice, seeds, all the things

Gonna make them some peanut butter treats soon – the butter with nuts n seeds rolled in balls. Just for them.

Nothing that I put out stays out

It’s foraged immediately

I like bonding with nature

But I have to deal with the hellhound now

He drains my energy like a black hole

I figured out how to put the blinds in such a way that I can see out too much – but you can’t see in from the sidewalk

Insects are animals – even those bugs we hate – I bet they were huge back in the day – but the elite love dropping bombs and depleting our o2 (and thus size)

Posted on March 31, 2023March 31, 2023 by poeeternal · 7 Comments

Bonds

Bonds come in many forms / the way the sun warms / love arriving in thunderstorms / ghosting has become the norms \

TMI below – be warned

I put my 30% towards my 20% so I’m definitely not doing it right but the “government” stole half my retirement savings during my disassociation through the pandemic and now I’m seeking alternative means to “save” in such ways where I don’t have such “easy access” such as a regular savings (which also got depleted, and the jeep wants every penny cuz she don’t have a trustworthy mechanic in this town) – so the rent and electric was paid – and I looked into gym membership prices (they keep adding on fees) and I doubt anyone cleans that sweaty equipment and folks can’t stop touching their privates, I’m fine working out from home in my extra bedroom that I don’t know what to do with (fortunate even in the slums) – not to mention – the new carpet was hard fought and won and I wound up securing a baby EE at that historic rate – and I will be nearly 65 when it doubles in value. Being ~~suicidal~~ homicidal and giving the government my money is fun!!!

They already stole half of my retirement but it’s still drawing interest and I refuse to move it to any other zones (unless to withdraw) (with penalty) (fuck you)

They stole half my moneyzzz and have the audacity to want to charge me 30% to get it all.

Again, fuck you.

Not to mention the state gave me an addiction and I don’t want them getting my 30%. Nor the gym, the terrible service at the fast food shops, nor the clothing retailers selling highly flammable polyester clothing (extremely hard to extinguish) (I can’t even find small cotton panties at Victoria’s Secret – who are stealing from their customers with their high interest rates)

Jesus wore a cotton robe because it didn’t cause cancer

Furthermore, they are putting cancer causing and hormonal disrupters in the tampons and hygiene pads – and tho I’m still ovulating, I cry that the vaccine made me sterile

The thought that man stole my life and generations – and they have – because my grandmother had 12 children and I’ve never been married and the divorce rate is over 85%

Men hate women

Men want love with prostitutes (according to the latest studies)

If you don’t let me have my acre of land – far away from civilization – there will be dire consequences and no remorse

Now, I already have a baby I bond but part of me desperately wanted to hook an EE too – especially knowing it is a fixed rate

It’s weird saving for a future you don’t believe will exist or that you will have

But what is worse, giving all my money to the medicinal shop when I don’t wanna

Me: “we’re supposed to have 30% to play with”

Also me: “yeah well fuck you. You have new carpet, roll around and wallow…”

I need plants growing. Big beautiful greenery. I like gym equipment that doesn’t require electricity. Upgrading the rebounder potentially. I want a white noise machine. And a big timer or stopwatch for the wall – one that doesn’t require electricity (is that possible)

Maybe even a large wall calendar to track my rebounding – instead of the regular calendar from the library that I’m currently using

A calendar without advertising – and just the dates/times

The old bookshelf will have plants growing – eventually – instead of the items currently on it

I got rid of all my storage – I donated my couch and dresser, basically kept my “seating” stools and benches of sorts – donated the bed!

I am not spending money on furniture, no.

This is not home. This is a curse.

Lots of people lost their lives and homes during the Great Invasion, I nearly lost mine, I’m having nightmares

The new carpet improved my mental health

They wanted $15 dollars for a fucking cotton mop – not even a wood handle – fuck you

I kept the receipt in case it breaks during “elbow grease” and I will try not to turn into the Incredible Hulk if it does.

Cinderella was on her knees for a reason. She didn’t want to chase her tail in a circle buying snake oil from the demons at the supermarket.

“Here’s your crappy product back” – I wasted gas/time/energy while you gut America. Fuck you

And now my therapist is censoring topics discussed during group therapy. Laughs

Fucking grateful for the new carpet tho

I think carpet should be abolished

But grateful that I can invite God to step on my floor

I could answer the door if he knocked

It’s doubtful I would answer, there’s too much shame

I’m coming off my period and I wanted to have a family so badly

I remind myself women go until 50 (until I check the census and read articles about how we’re having less – but they are having more)

I’m going extinct like the dinosaur

Also, Britain is now at 60% – so they too are the minority, having lost power and position, and many of us are ready to fight back for what we had

Hear, hear

Some say karma

But I am both Native American and white and I want what is mine

I read Mexican’s and Chinese identify as “white”

Oh yeah

Bleaching yer skin eh

I might go blonde soon myself

Want to look my absolute best while ghosting every man

And hope they cross my shadow so I can defend my right to exist

Still – men are illegally filming my ass when I’m out and about – disturbingly

Men will follow me and chase me to my car

No means no

Also, because my lightsource is incredibly scarce and rich, these demons show themselves immediately everywhere

They all wanna blow my house down

God dammnit how am I supposed to quit weed?

Me: pays bills then dumps every cent into propoganda

WELPS

But I have access to the other thing too easily and the jeep wants it

I’m speaking to someone as if he understands what I’m saying

He thinks me being autistic is like a crime (I thought he wanted hillbilly babies)

Anyhoo, it just means I’m an oracle

I’m angelic

I’m different

Than them

“I see dead people” (and talk to them)

Googly eyes

I am less sick these days but still sick

So the quarantine remains (even for God)

(No you can’t come in)

(I don’t want you to see me this way)

(Stop looking)

(That’s still looking)

I get the entire weekend to ponder my existence

I’d like to write more

People are starting to get “automatic comments” on WordPress for business proposals. WordPress sold out and this should be illegal.

I desperately want somewhere to reach you, I’m losing ground.

“This offer is automatically generated”. Just remember that as you dump money into WP.

Automation should be a crime

AI is the enemy

Asian Americans identity as “Chinese American and honor Chinese culture only”

They come here and destroy our way of life

These nihilists, they are destroying anything God made, and creating “manmade artificial in place” – to own you

To destroy it all

Think they are Gods

They destroyed the dinosaurs

They probably destroyed Mars

All them cracks on the moon, probably bombs

Those 500 whales dead on the beach, BOMBS

Posted on March 30, 2023March 30, 2023 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

God

Does God know the story just from the composition of the cloud.
When I’m in doubt?
A double rainbow hanging about.
Can God see drought?

PS.

New carpet arrived. It’s almost like moving but not.

I’ve learned to hate eating out

They reduce the size but charge you more

A tiny cup of ice for $3.99

A kid size

Two sips, gone

Cup o’ ice please for $4.50

I won’t be back

I yelled at the “boss” of the medicinal shop: “I’m quitting” and complained about the overuse of plastic and paper and waste. He replied “the government” and I yelled “I don’t give a fuck about the government”

I care about the rain forest and weed becoming the new plastic problem

Big Pharma and Big weed love to ruin our environment. Enough is enough!!! I will fight this addiction harder!!!!!!! I will not vote to legalize recreational and regret voting for medicinal. I will never vote again (my therapist says I’m polarized)

I tried to fire her but she wouldn’t go

I was like, I’m trying to quit weed

The state gave me an addiction with malicious intent and purpose

She said, “I’m in it for the long haul”

But what part of “I’m ready to jump from a bridge” or “escape society and disappear forever” is hard to understand?

I fucking talk to the Sun

I still want to look at it tho I’m not supposed to

“Not far enough down yet” (midday wearing prescribed tints mind you)

Then I researched why I need to get a look

And learned Galileo nearly went blind taking a peek at the sun with a telescope and no filter – he never quite recovered

In hindsight it’s like duh but otherwise I get it, I do dumb shit like that

I’ve always wanted to look through a telescope but I’m an invasive frog eating stage 2 food for 17 years, until I get stuck in my environment. I would have looked at the sun too, no filter, gone blindish.

But why do I want to stare at it? Just let me have a look!!!!

I’ve never seen the moon through a telescope

I’m never speaking to another man again

You stole my life

I’m having nightmares about the dog going on the floor.

He’s on house arrest and not allowed anywhere – but enjoys his walks more and time on my bed instead of his crib – which isn’t bad.

It’s either follow the rules or the death warrant is being signed – I mean the “dying on a good day”.

He wants to live to 12. He’s trying.

But he ain’t allowed anywhere. I’m having fucking nightmares. Just need a clean space. I even cleaned the trim and walls (easier than painting).

My cheap curtains from Aldi are hanging up with tape until I get proper hardware

Sometimes I want to move into my fitness room. And the living room is barren. I donated/trashed/sold everything (95%).

4 pack of nightlights on clearance was cheaper than 1 tiny candle – and it also has improved my mental health.

Who knew it took the dog not pissing on the carpet

Not to mention, the carpet was old and outdated and not like the showroom unit. I fought so hard to get the carpet replaced!

I start group therapy soon and my therapist is censoring what I’m allowed to talk about “in group” FYI.

So, the one person who was participating in group therapy will now attend but not really participate, FYI.

I’m trying to get in a mental and physical state where I can work from home – and luckily programs exist for me to attempt this.

At the state and federal level for veterans.

I don’t have a desktop computer, my phone is broken and there’s not enough space to update and it’s too hard to delete photos in a main album and I don’t want 5g and despite buying and spending hundreds of dollars on both a new phone and refurbished MacBook Air – the phone and laptop are no longer compatible and I’m not dropping thousands of dollars every 2 years to upgrade my devices. I’m done!!!

WordPress is dead and the only reason it has active users or X amount of the network is because universities and students now use it and businesses. They don’t need us.

The charts do show WP declining

They basically acted like Instagram and Twitter and sold-out and the users who made it what it was were punished

We said we didn’t like the Block editor, it was forced on us anyway! Surprise!

I don’t want to jump from platform to platform.

I was humiliated at the previous carpet – and though I wouldn’t let God eat from my kitchen, he could walk on my floor now. And sleep (like me).

I’d rather not have carpet at all – but new modern clean carpet has improved my mental health – despite the nightmares.

I also dropped $15 for a cotton mop and I hope it doesn’t break when I give it some “elbow grease”. Apparently people just push dirt around…

Walmart has become too expensive to shop from and hopefully the handle doesn’t give me cancer – everything else sold there has a cancer warning

The candles there are poison

Like the food and exercise equipment

My Jeep is having problems again and I gotta tell my girl goodbye

I think the mechanics are fucking with her though – with malicious intent and purpose

Having a car is too expensive these days – thought I could enjoy one after spending 6 years paying her off. Apparently not. These monsters are obsessed with the latest model and will force you into slavery of every kind.

My fucking small clothes are baggy on me.

I like having the windows open and the light shining through

I kept all 3 mirrors and opted to put the 2 in my fitness room

They have wire to hang – but alas on the floor they remain

I spent thousands of dollars on beds over the years – never really enjoyed one more than 2 months. Surprisingly, my spine likes the clean floor.

This carpet is a lighter color too, and my lease was renewed.

The neighbors hate me more now (updated carpet).

I’m making 2 ingredient cookies soon. My first time. Of course, I’ll add flax and oats and loads of other ingredients (but sugar, no sugar) so they will be more than “2 ingredients” in the end.

But peanut butter and eggs are all you need (to make “sugar free”)

I’m adding unsweetened coconut flakes, oats, flax, white chocolate, peanuts, and probably other proteins. Crunchy peanut butter sugar free cookies (experimental first try)

Should I create an Instagram to “socialize”? I’m not very good at it (autistic) but am trying to be a good humanz.

I take pictures of carpet and squirrels.

And I want to grow lots of plants – so will use free non GMO seeds from the seed library at the local hub. I will do my best to minimize costs of startup. Plants help you breathe.

I think going into hiding is best.

What do you think?

Dining room carpet replaced! Mental health boost!

I have a place I rent / but it’s not really where I live / a city of cement / regret, prayer, lament

Posted on March 24, 2023 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

Singularity

It’s like we’re moving stationary
Still caught up in the past
The topping on the cherry?
Humanity is coming in last

Hi. My name is Delia. I follow/unfollow blogs. Sometimes I’m afraid to follow at all (even tho I want to). My comments are usually rude. I’m in therapy. K, thanx bye.

Posted on March 24, 2023March 24, 2023 by poeeternal · 32 Comments

Lost Cause

I’ve been looking for you in places I should not
Returning in case I forgot
Searching clues in decay
It’s a long shot

Still clouds are thought
Love sweet like apricot
A burning sunray
I’m the mascot

Free speech below (and in traffic)

Hi, my name is Delia and I’m homicidal/suicidal.

Maybe I’m reaching my breaking point.

For instance, yesterday while waiting at a very long stop light on beach street, this immigrant was walking around half-dressed with a baby stroller, he crossed the crosswalk and I yelled “pedophile” (because I’m calling every man I see this now apparently – but especially him) and he looked back, so I yelled louder.

The light still wouldn’t change.

I noticed the car beside me also had their window down/cracked

I was like, “He shouldn’t be alone with a baby” and she laughed and cried, “I know”

I stated, “I don’t normally do that but no man should be alone with a baby” in which she responds again with “I know” and mentions how he was dressed

(It’s summer but every man acts as if they own the world, women are fed up yeeeee)

We got to continue our back-and-forth manhating for at least another 30 seconds or more until the light finally turned and I reluctantly said I had to go

There was a cop ahead at the oncoming light but I still had thoughts of “gasing” my vehicle or honking him rudely as he passed

I behaved but then the body screamed PEDOPHILE and he acknowledged and the car next to me concurred (more than once)

I gotta get out of this city, this town, these people, these policies

I continue to assess my “mental health”, and stay in the now, the cars read ROUGE

I wholeheartedly agree, it’s time

5 monster men just kidnapped an older lady, FBI put out a reward, she’s dead

The news have not reported this, it’s just something I feel

The same way I knew my sister was dead before she died

And all it took was a text from my half-sister, “she’s in the hospital with COVID” and I replied “she’s gonna die”

I didn’t go say goodbye

She died

I had a big ole blood clot and blown left lung – from the deathcare system, and was heading no where near a hospital and never will again

I would get arrested, keep me the fuck away from that god damn Satan house

BE GONE

And stop casting spells on me, they only empower me more

The mirrors are nearly gone, I potentially found a owner for the pair I got

MARK BURGESS is swine and the curse will unfold in time

The Last One of Us is not just a game

I’ve not played it – but according to research, “the elites were plagued with parasites” and there’s a super fungas strain plaguing California (where MB hangs)

FYI

The CDC are blaming “the wind”

Yeah sure and he’s an immigrant from the UK

Well, I’ve no idea his green card status or his whereabouts or whatifs

I dream of justice, real justice

Swift and remorseless

It’s not a sin

Eye for eye

My heart is feeling good enough to kickbox a face or two

Encouraging seeing big boy swim in hurricane swells — I’m learning to tame my own demons – albeit not well

Because I wound up at the park – letting every man know he was either a pedophile in love with a prostitute or “another motherfucker who thinks he owns the world”

One looked up and I instructed him to call the cops cuz it’s the only time I ever “feel anything”

No cops came.

Shame.

Too tiny. Gonna get shot or kidnapped (I’ll rip your hand and dick off)

KEEP 10 FEET BACK

I might finally be getting to see the lung doctor – after nearly blowing my lung out April 2021

Some boy I don’t really know but had a dream about when I was like 8 and he was perhaps still growing in-womb (not mine, eww) – saved my life – kinda

Because he was “kinda there” with his own selfish needs but was apparently everything I needed in moment, because he dumped loads of chemicals into me, which maybe kept my heart from stopping

I was in so much pain

My heart was having mini pre heartquakes – like heart attack – would actually need medical help if my electrical output continued leaning in that way

I literally could not breathe (and have developed new ways of coping as I have a heart condition now)

Furthermore, they may not tell you this per say, but those with heart inflammation are at risk for Adult Sudden Death Syndrome, and so I’m not out of the woods yet, as I can’t do anything that causes elevation spikes in my heart (adrenaline rushes, or even stress/anger) though I can rebound now on my gravity fitness trainer, and mine is made with special straps, not bungee cords, and I finally found more made in those style and hope to upgrade soon

I’m quite bonded with my squeaky trainer and was gonna use it til it had no life left

My body is ready for a new trainer – a tighter pad – maybe smaller too (I think mine is 36 inch)

Men: “women haven’t contributed anything to society and are only good for childbearing or serving me”

Me: I don’t want your fucking electricity

And I’m nearly tired of the $100 oil changes

$5 oil change, 10 minutes

I argued about inflation and maths and economics in college

I knew globalization was bullshite

I wasn’t for it but the would sell the propaganda and the kids ate it up

Evolution theory is bullshit

I’ve been reading books on quantum physics – Cox and his clocks, y’all are delusional pedophile nihilist and NASA is a fraud – stop taxing me

Neil Armstrong never spoke to anyone from the moon, it was recorded on earth, they had no communication towers according to NASA, the moon landing’s were rehearsed, with a fucking Hollywood director, wake fucking up

Women please especially – now before I wind up a statistical

93% of all murders happen by men (their punishment getting lighter while ours gets worse)!!!!

We’re in a 6th mass extinction!

That’s why 500 whales washed ashore, the bombs they keep setting off in our oceans!!!!! Hello!!!!!!!!!! Science is fun!!!!!!!!

Imperialism. Imagine unplugging from the great machine as a Soldier, I’ve come undone!!!!

And now they wanna lock us up for destroying us with malicious intent and purpose!!!

Some vet just murdered his 3 young children – took everything from his ex wife – who left him a key to her home – he shot his children sleeping in their bed

You’re all monsters!!!

They’re selling dicks at the mall in front of children!!!! And online at Walmart in the health and wellness!!! Why you shopping there? Everything is cancer!!!! Read the labels!!!!

We go to war with our neighbors and then let them come live here!!!!! They hate us!!!!!! CMON!!!

White slavery! The Great Replacement theory is real!!! I’m part of the 244!!!

Do you know who I am pedo!!!!!

God is very real and gracious and angry!!!!!!

Mother earth deserves more!!!!

I hate it here!!!! This civilization you claim you created because women are useless!

Fuck you! You wouldn’t be here without us!!!!!

You’re pissed about it!!!

The Developer!!!! Ha ha charade you are!!!

The Great Filter is real! It’s you!!!!!!

I can smell your stench like Agent Smith!!!!

I don’t trust a Chinaman in my country or a white boy or BLM or Latino lives matter – took all our jobs!!!!!!

I’d love to get back to an ethical job but none exists!

Stop asking for my email or digital identity!!!

I’ve sold my TV, the propaganda machine!

And tho my expensive Apple devices aren’t very old, they’ve forced us outdated, I’m not buying again

I don’t love you!!!! Or your society!!!

WordPress sold out!!! It’s all daily prompt in the feed!

I got rid of everything I own!!!!

I’m ready to dawn a robe!!!!

I don’t know how I’m reaching out to you with a brain, heart, lung injury – plus a curse

But alas miracles!!!!!!!!!!

I’m sorry for my weird behavior – it’s just the Matrix is broken, I’m gonna keep not complying!!!!!!

Morrison wanted to fuck/kill his parents and ghosted them

Father Jim

I sold all my vinyl

I tossed out things that I thought had monetary value in the bin

Many I donated or gave away

Some I sold for a quarter knowing I paid extra for the bonus disc and features, but in the end, it’s worth was obsolete

I’m not jumping from platform to platform for the developers who have yellow fever and think they are gods

Fuck social media – it destroyed the fabric of eveything

Our economy

And porn and its filthy consumers

This boy of young teenage age was staring at me in a sexual way, I snarled my lip

In an alternate universe, there is a sinister version of me, cutting of dicks, and leaving little smily faces on the walls – cuz no one has discovered my identity

🙂

So… if I dream of casting spells on someone who entered my life – then let me hang a horseshoe from my door

The same these scientists don’t believe in God but do a blackhole

It is increasingly hard to listen to the dribble of super religious freaks, knowing many are atheists themselves but push it on us anyway

Do this, do that!!!

I don’t really believe Asia was/is the most advanced species anymore

They are our number one threat and should fear the bery ground they walk on here

Here a demon, there a demon, I’m gonna expose you

I hope I settle down soon, the new carpet arrives Tuesday

I’m still focused on healing, spiritually, mentally, physically, financially (they did steal thousands of my retirement during the pandemic while I was disassociating, FYI)

I lost at least half

But those who took it were traveling to exotic locations during the pandemic – buying luxury phones and cars – with my retirement money

JFC

*insert slang*

But then, they cry “Asian hate”

It’s burns a bit deeper than that

I don’t think hate describes what is growing in me

No one ever says they wanna be an elite serial something when they grow up

People who write things like, “those who say they don’t like money but go work an 8 hour job” don’t consider that being homeless is an actual crime

Born into money, never struggled a day in their life

Don’t know hardship

Gotta incite riots to feel anything

Dead inside

Weak spirits

Lost souls

Dead man drowning

Perhaps I the same

I like feeling and seeing the sun rise and fall everyday

I appreciate how happy the wildlife are when I feed em

They tell us not to feed the wildlife but then capture and enslave these intelligent beautiful creatures for our entertainment and sell their teeth for luck

Parasites – narcissism is a plague

Nihilist

That’s all they are

And all me and the white girl can do is laugh about the insanity of it all

I can’t keep yelling and screaming pedophile, I’ll wind up in a swamp or freezer

That’s already a fear because they follow me out of places I shop, they stalk me, because I’m cute to them

I wish my ear would stop ringing

Need out the city

Helps

The crime is so bad where I live

And it’s being gentrified, just like WP

The CEO has yellow fever

P.S. you never needed to block me cuz you never added my number (I hate you)

(It wasn’t even your main two lines)

Last in, first out

Woot

I’ve met a lot of boys but none looked like the boy I dreamed about nor do any make my heart/brain/pp do what you make it do

Don’t make me delete my blog

Some lines I’m too afraid to cross – but do so erratically

She took the house and kids – probably cuz he was bad – but loved him and let him keep a key – probably to see the kids anytime he wanted – so he took everything from her – killed the kids and himself

But go ahead and blame gun laws and everything but what is to blame…

Keep puffing on my house motherfucker…

It ain’t even my house and I’m paying more than a mortgage – another problem man made

Posted on March 21, 2023 by poeeternal · 5 Comments

Grief changes you

Grief changes you
Strings stay connected
But you find yourself in a new world
Strange unfamiliar settings
The navigation controls glitching
Life will never be the same

This place is cursed
From twilight to dusk
My sins interspersed
The golden hour
Mixed with rust
The dead
Blood and dust
We’re grounds for divorce
His thirst for lust
We speak in morse
Secret code of sin
And it’s getting worse
He’s first of course
For my hatred to enforce
Man’s overrule
His math and wicked verse

Would you hold my wrinkles, the way you hold the cold?
Just like darkness, you both make me old.

My name is on the lease
But this isn’t home
I blocked your identity
But you will never call

I don’t know what my purpose is. Becoming homeless? Jumping from a bridge?

Giving up on all humanity doesn’t quite feel right.

I wanna work – at least – a tiny bit – but there are roadblocks yet to overcome. Patience is something I’m being forced to learn. I guess I need to check out some library books on patience.

I’m having a hard time quitting legal weed. I never had an addiction to cannabis before. I’m not paying the state to renew my card, or the doctor. That’s one way to force me to quit. I researched. It’s extremely hard and most men get a ton of help to quit. I’ve got faith and prayer and hardly any will (to live) to quit.

I’m tired of the brain fog, the shit don’t work.

I’d rather bury the money I’m wasting on medicinal.

But things are always flooding here and I don’t have my own yard.

Apparently buying a home is not a good time, I’ve also researched.

And good luck finding a plot of land that isn’t surrounded by big farming corporations. YUCK.

America was sold out.

Some grandmother caught her 3 year old grandson watching porn and he knew how to access it

The government makes money off porn

Apparently if you’re a criminal or have a hard time getting a job, the government will give your employer a 5k bond for hiring you. FUCK YOU

Society is a scam

I busted my ass through college – to be met with hiring freezes, furloughs, inflation, and a pandemic with a snake oil cure that wiped out half the workforce – leaving the best jobs to only the very brightest – the immigrants – and the shitty jobs for the rest.

It’s also 60% more expensive to live life solo. Yay!

Porn should be banned from the internet. Period. You fucked it up and should have kept it behind closed doors and black curtains.

Some husband cheating on his wife with his girlfriend recently murdered her – and got 4 years. Men are getting punished less and less for crimes against women.

Meanwhile a wife got 17 years for killing her husband in defense – after begging the government for help.

The Great Replacement theory is real

White slavery

Sexual slavery

It’s sick what my parents did to me and my now dead sister (she was 45) (go mom and ~~dad~~ The One Who Shall Not Be Named)

Because of law Section 230 – violence against women and children on porn sites uploaded go unpunished!!!!!

They make money from it and just remove it when asked! No biggie!!!!

Sick society!

I hated porn in the 90s when it was mostly nude magazines and strip clubs!!!!! They weren’t selling anal sex toys in front of the children at the Mall or Walmart!

Y’all are sick!!!!!!!!!!

I’m very depressed among other things

The poets made WordPress what it was – and now they don’t need us – unless to buy a product.

These companies get the government involved and it loses any magic it had.

Advertising is conditioning and should be illegal.

I’m tired of complaining about this manmade world

They’re all nihilist

95% of them

They’d rather believe a math formula predicting a black hole that shouldn’t be there – is more magical – than life growing itself in the womb.

Pissed off they can’t do it themselves

Don’t want women feeling happy

They think AI is better than women

They think women haven’t contributed to society and quite frankly – they can keep their electricity. At the price, I don’t want it.

I never wanted any of this

We’re born into an unfair system

Where boys get away with murder and get paid more than us (and then the government helps them get jobs with bonds)

https://bonds4jobs.com/

Those who play by the rules are the mark

If you’re ever in doubt, it’s you…

Narcissism is a plague and easily spread by porn, Christian propaganda, and over nurturing

Test tube babies should be illegal

Dogs – cats – cute but eating up natural livestock and they were made in a lab

Apparently water buffalo are on the extinction list yet I just bought an ear from the ~~Dollar Tree~~ $1.25 Tree)

I haven’t murdered the dog with a “good day” yet

He likely suffer til the end

Today I made him an egg sandwich

Yesterday he had a toasted turkey dog

He has dog food and treats too

He wants his food, my food, plus his food

I fed squirrel yesterday

Hung out for half an hour sundown feeding her/him

The guy who murdered his 8 month old pregnant wife – dumped her from his boat, then went and turned the baby room into storage, sold the wife’s car, and tried to sell the house – he was removed from death row – gets an hour of sunshine per day, 3 meals a day – for life.

She washed ashore

He had searched on his phone “ocean tides” (or waves)

He was probably an undercover gay

They expect us to “mommy them”

Men are monsters. Guaranteed.

If they were really genius, they’d know how to make women happy and stop killing everything.

One person asked what women would do with men safely gone for 24 hours.

Most of them said walk without fear.

WALK

93% of all homicide committed against women are by men.

Since 1970 68% of all life has gone extinct.

Nihilist.

Under the gaze of secular science

(They think they’re geniuses)

They were conditioned to love prostitution and porn as children

The divorce rate is over 85%

They hate us

Math is stupid

I don’t want electricity

(Not at the expense of every woman’s mental health)

1 in 3 women experience assault from man (and it’s never just one man or experience)

1 in 5 men have an STD

They can give you cancer with their dick

Their cum can literally kill you

And you wanna legalize prostitution and already have in Nevada and online

Gonna spread them parasites everywhere

They don’t even test both parties in prostitution (John’s aren’t tested)

Massage parlors have prostitutes

I’m sick of fighting a war I can’t win

I once liked smoking weed and now I don’t and can’t quit (am actively trying)

Will definitely be experiencing mood swings, sweating, insomnia, for a good two weeks minimum (I’ve been researching)

Men get an entire tribe to help them quit

It seems those who were born into class are the only ones fairing well (mostly)

There’s like 30% single never married folk educated but left behind

But the crims get government bonds for their employers to hire them

They kill women and get ahead

I’m kinda pissed

I’d like to see less people deleting their blogs

Let me know where the new blogging community is going

WordPress pushed their product onto the academic platform – and students learn to blog through education (I wasn’t even allowed a phone in school or the military on job)

I wasn’t allowed a life growing up and I’m not allowed one now thanks to gentrification and narcissism

I’m exhausted

I know you’re struggling

To find your humanity

You’re a drowning man taking me down

You didn’t want to be a worker bee

Getting kicked out during winter while the Queen stays in the hive – that you likely made her

You mutilated her bond

She called crying

Now you can murder her by accident and get 4 years

And you have the audacity to ask me, “what’s the matter honey, you depressed” and then tell the person you’re speaking with via phone that I’m a “manhater”

Awe boo

I wanna cut yer dick off

You better start behaving on the road…

And please let God know I just want a tiny acre of land – to grow these seeds I’m hoarding

And please tell God I’d like to be less suicidal when I fuck things up

Also, despite all the very bad graphs and divorce rates, I still wanna husband.

A partnership.

I wanna do all the things with him.

Please get over your lifelong prostitute addiction.

I don’t know how to communicate with you over a cellphone, I come from a time before computers.

When you randomly send me dick picks online or phone, you disrespect yourself and my love for you

You never ask, you just do. I get so angry boo

I’m old fashioned and want to be surprised! In the real world!

And I want to date my husband – it’s biology and how she connects to him

It’s not about gifts, it’s about protection and nurturing

When dating for a minimum of three months no sex, it bonds and creates lifelong bongs. She’s able to imprint on him.

When I asked him would he want to date me when I’m better he replied, “I’m not competing”.

Which isn’t at all what I meant.

I never bonded or imprinted with any man at this point, and now I feel a lost cause.

A lost soul.

They want us to lose our faith.

I don’t believe in his God, if that helps anything.

Suicide is the 7th leading cause of death and I’ve been trying to self-terminate since in womb.

By kindergarten, I got in trouble on the playground for tying a piece of string around my neck

They banned me from people or going outdoors for two weeks

But the prisoners get an hour of sun a day you see…

There are more horror stories and scars on my body – proving I’m a coward

I’m more sad the lotion in the bottle gave me sunspots – some aren’t natural now

I’m tired of crying

Or looking in the mirror

I have to go now because tears

Fuck you

I’ve been trying so hard to be good and you getting bonds for being bad

Fuck you

(I can’t work yet but Bookmarked the page)

1. Hire me please. A. I have Veteran preference. B. I come with official referrals. C. You’ll get a 5k bond for hiring me. D. I smile but am disabled so may forget to cross the T or dot the I.

Them: you’re hired

Seriously tho, I’m overqualified for these Taco Bell jobs, but have been out of the market for medical reasons. I’m hoping that maybe one day I can find a job to fit my disability and I’ll be using the career source and library to help fix me up an updated resume – I’d love to jump the hiring lines with “I come with a 5k bond”

I still have hope for my future to not be homeless

I want plan B to not be a gun…

I’d also like to plan for my 50th (instead of dying at age 45 like my sister, I was nearly there)

I’m 44 today… 🙂

I mean currently (my birthday isn’t until August)

If you base it on THIS calendar

This whole timeline is off

In 2018, a big electrical storm hit New Smyrna Beach (give or two a year), in which I drove directly into it, all four windows down, elbow and arm outstretched, 80 miles an hour, the whole jeep lit up, some hot shit touched me, I screamed “fuck” and thought my life was over, while looking in my rearview and arm windows, seeing tons of bands of lightning outstretched on the pavement, I jumped into this timeline here

My arm burned for days and I blogged about not having any iodine

Kinda got touched by God

I smelled the rain prior and knew a storm was coming but opted to have my windows down

There was no rain, only lightning, the thunder was so loud

I got pushed off a 50 foot bridge once, I’m not sure how I’m even alive

I felt more human feeding that squirrel than I have in some time

I could feel my heart repairing

Somehow, feeding Squirrel connects me to my purpose

The way Squirrel looks at me

Gonna toss him/her some pistachio soon

Yesterday, pumpkin/sunflower/peanut treats.

The way he looked at me

I need husband

He will need to “date me” (not compete) in order to make the mechanics and functions of a man/woman work (AKA imprinting)

(I’m probably some sort of organic AI)

(Angel)

(Not the artificial fake shit)

They want you to believe computers have feelings so you feel less guilt when you fall in love with a robot and not a human)

Awe what’s the matter boo, lost yer soul?

Posted on March 19, 2023March 19, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Prayers from purgatory

Father,
There’s almost nothing left
My sister is dead
I’m bereft
Sick in the head
Near out of breath
Want money in the bulkhead

Compartments upon compartments
Secret dirty pockets

Here I sit
Here I remain
Losing grip
Can’t change the game

Mirror mirror on the wall
Reflecting curse
And where I fall
Fuck you all

Bonds come in many forms
Like my love
It comes in swarms
Electronic storms

Investments
Feels like I’m restless
I’m vested
Better than arrested

I thought investment always meant high-risk / cutting at my wrist

If a paper bond is lost, stolen, destroyed or otherwise mutilated, a replacement electronic bond can be requested.

“MUTILATED”
The wife called aggravated
Divorce threatened
Says husband is hated!

New purchase
But it won’t help my purpose
I’m worthless

Late bloomer?
But don’t be discouraged
Blame the Boomer’s

Forced obsolescence
And second guesses
Year-long stresses
Everything depresses

Secular science / sleeping lion’s / full of compliance \

My nutritionist complains that spring water “has no calories” but I get cranky when it takes me 3 days and several stores later to find it

Florida and Texas have parasites in the water – and if we can’t wash our face with it – so it won’t get up yer nose – I checked – the ear canal is also a route – but then I would think the eye

Sylvia Plath LIED

I gotta start boiling my water to bathe

If your houseplants are dying, stop feeding them tap water. Pro tip.

I’m still 110 pounds – despite eating a shit ton of mostly vegetarian food – and not rebounding for a solid week.

Kept eating like a pig – nope can’t gain any weight

Getting back to rebounding tho – just been deep down wallowing and trying to fatten up

My heart is obsessed with rebounding tho – the carpet still hasn’t been replaced but it’s still March and time is awful slow

Also me: I’m running out of time

I don’t have an ounce of patience after wasting my 20s & 30s

I cry so much

You’re off chasing rainbows where the rain won’t shine
You’ll love in time
My hand is aging
Like hope is tied
Sun leans in raging
Petrified

My love,
In the universe, spheres aren’t really spheres
Innocuous
Joy reflect as fears
Lingering
Like how you disappear
You are gone –
So how are you here?

I’m not marriage material
I’m grounds for divorce
I’ll stick to my high horse

GARAGE SALE:
Please buy my things
I overspent
I’ll overprice it
It’s not magnificent

If it’s Made in China
I’ve gotten rid of it
The entire toolkit
Sent it back to orbit
Omitted
Ejected from the cockpit
Calling bullshit
Burn it in the pit
Claim counterfeit
Propaganda lightening skin hypocrite
Brown-nosing misfit
Yellow fever transmit
I’m sick of it

Weakened
Lost spirit
Gifts?
Forget it
Remorse?
Acquitted

I come without bond
Broken
Look inside
Heart ain’t coping

Like leaping ledge
Just barely hoping
Your foot will land
With surface sloping

Opposition disappearing
Dangerous dictatorship
Communist country
I’m growing hungry
Purposeful spread the virus
I read in silence

The holes stop healing when you die
Like all feeling disappearing
After you cry

Dear Mother,
You are cold war.
And Father, your mentor.
Though coldness, speak no more.

Father,
You are ice age
Swimming in the current
Of my full rage
Father, you are first plague

Mother,
You are cold war.
A six foot hole I am searching for.
Like a backdoor.

And father’s picture? An eyesore.

Postscript: Mirrors hold negative energy and the creams I was using cause “spots or burns” and I cry so much seeing myself in the mirror that I’ve now moved all mirrors from my bedroom, intend to get rid of or cover the others, am not allowed to wash my face with tap or shower water, per official government guidelines, and the cream I was using to not weather in the sun, in fact, made me weather in the sun, and so bottles are being thrown out, mirrors destroyed, tears finding unholy ground. But I’m still collecting seeds from the seed library (I’m half-alive hoarding dreams).

I wasn’t scared, I was sick.

And I’m still fighting off the devil.

And the urge of mass murder and suicide.

Have you seen the amount in the news?

Also, The Great Replacement theory is real.

I fell deeper in hell.

Two banks have been shut down.

I’ve stopped disassociating (and looking in the mirror).

I’m superstitious and see demons everywhere.

I need him to contact me.

Never mind the blocks (for his own protection)

Brian Cox is a pedophile faggot and – in his very own words – called a 38 year old man “old”.

He loves a brilliant young mind

Men hate women or anything natural or God like and are obsessed with their own creations such as AI, lab made cats and dogs, and say women have done nothing to contribute to society and are only good for childbearing

According to current studies, most married men want love with a prostitute (gag) (throws up in mouth)

I literally daydream of leaping off a bridge and that ain’t right

Fuck everything

Fuck you

I’ll be back at the library collecting seeds cause it fits in with my goals and values

I’m drifting buddy

*cries*

America is collapsing

I’m not racist but simultaneously hate everyone (unless good)

(I’m barely good)

(Hate self)

Pro tip: mirrors cause negative self-image and hold negative energies. Get rid of them. Stop looking. Now go off and be a good witch.

Happy cursing

I’m casting one soon on so-in-so

A tiny box with a mirror and his name sealed with a burnt black candle buried in the swamp

Because he hasn’t died yet (MB)

I’m undoing the curse from birth on…

Hear, hear!

Posted on March 13, 2023 by poeeternal

From Hell (poetry)

I’m wailing
Climbing walls
Jumping halls
Blackmailing
Tell God I’m sailing
Direct from hell to heaven
Breaking spells
Inhaling
Predicting lies prevailing
The Devil got me detailing
And if you’ve done it
I’m telling
Double dare you
I’m yelling

Postscript: (beware)

I downloaded the JetPack cuz I’m tired of fighting the current.

But my bank pulled some shady shite today and I’m ready to bury my money.

Shit like where you can only use the app now to upload a check and automatically enrolling me into Bill Pay when I clicked on “learn more”.

The app was uninstalled but then you can’t use the check deposits feature or check your check deposits via the website (I’m tired of being forced to use an app or automatically signed up for things just for learning more)

But buried cash doesn’t earn interest

But I don’t trust the banks

Now would be a good time to drop recommendations on where to stash your cash (like a checking and savings)

I looked up the top ten worst banks – I mean the Federal reserve just took down a bank.

It’s hard to get a handle on my paranoia these days – and it don’t help when folks are always calling the cops on you.

Does someone want to gift me a paper bond? I need one for my 50th.

I suddenly have goals to live to see my 50th – and enjoy it – with a big lump sum of cash.

And so I’ve prayed to God, “I’m saving for my future. My 50th.”

I probably only have a few seconds left but I’m bargaining.

I cry and ache so much.

But maybe, if I am alive, in say, 6 ish years, I could celebrate.

Anyhoo, I’m already invested into that plan – I started this very month.

Even nearly dead, I’m planning for my future

(I hope it involves my own yard to plant these seeds I’ve started hoarding)

And then this happened… and now I’ve lost all hope

The Chinese must have got ahold

It’s a gamble saving for your future when you’re already dead

I can’t believe I got this fucking death jab – I hate the medical system with everything I have

Banks are collapsing

Governments are beyond corrupt

Have you seen the amount of murder/suicide lately?

They say we can’t wash our face with tap water anymore.

And I was stupidly here and there snorting tap water up my sinuses like a dummy – after blowing my nose or something – putting a drop on my finger – I ain’t the brightest crayon in the box

But a man in Florida recently died from a brain eating amoeba doing a tap water sinus rinse

They say drinking the water is fine – but don’t shower with your face in the water, don’t wash your face with tap water but drinking it is just fine

And I had just washed my face in the shower – with the tap getting all over – mouth closed – cuz earlier reports said stop showering with your mouth open

But a kid died from a splash park

And now – a man – rinsing his nose with water

DEAD

So stop washing your face with tap water (per official guidelines)

I guess we gotta start boiling the water before we bathe

At this point, I’m afraid to brush my tooth

I had a splash of shower water get in my nose – had a headache all night – panicked – said this is it

I ain’t dying in a hospital

Only 4 folks survived a brain eating parasite – and that kid that died at the splash park – well the employees were quietly quitting and not cleaning the water properly or documenting it

None of these official employees or states or governments ever get in trouble for the shit they do

Like that mass murder suicide in 2018 with the lesbian couple and 6 blm kids – the youngest jumped from a 2 story building and begged the neighbor not to go back

She should have ran far away (bless her heart, she tried so hard) (the state stood by and let her get murdered) (all of them)

Drove off a cliff

No escape

Locked in…

State murder lots of folk scotch free

Apparently, those who play by the rules are the mark

I’m coming to terms with that

I hate all these “new changes” as if it’s in our favor, benefiting us

It’s not

I made coconut cake

It’s a meal and a treat in one

Flax, and oats, and pumpkin seeds

Eggs, coconut milk, coconut flakes

Topped it with lots of oats and seeds as well (not just in the mix)

Anyhoo

The world is ending but I made cake

Slice?

Seriously, do not wash your face with tap water…

(At this point living near an active volcano may be safer than living with this government)

(Some crushed pineapple in the batter would have made this cake divine)

Posted on March 4, 2023March 5, 2023 by poeeternal

Silver and Copper (poem)

Silver and copper
My favorite topper
Wounds and blood and pauper
Jumping cracks like leafhopper 

Blackened skin maybe monster 
Bridges burning over water
Flying high helicopter
He never loved her

Posted on March 3, 2023 by poeeternal · 1 Comment

Regret (poem)

I regret crawling into that cave
Claw marks where I engrave
Rage like a heatwave
Headlamp won’t light the way
I rest here today

I don’t want wifi anymo

It’s got to go

More seeds for the dream yard

They are non GMO so I don’t have to burn them

Also scored a free book (limited supply) from the library

Unfortunately, despite NASA being a great joke, The Martian is still a favorite film (minus the gay hollywood music)

I don’t know what I’m allowed to have in life, or keep

Like why am I hoarding seeds and dreams?

And can things grow at Yellowstone? (Pro)

Will I accidentally boil myself in a hotspring? (Con)

Land near Yellowstone is cheap (pro)

But it’s also near a volcano (con) (unless maybe you’re suicidal!?!) (tbd)

Cheap land comes at a cost huh

So does visiting your old url

~~Fuck you~~

Posted on March 1, 2023 by poeeternal

Gravity (poem)

The moon gives me tilt
Seasonal travesty
Without any guilt
Go stand on her
I will give you lip

I should be sleeping. I’m not.

You got plans to go back to the moon in a decade huh. Gonna take ten years to manipulate the data/crowd.

Besides, April 2029 / the final time

Apophis is probably just an atom bomb

We probably bombed the moon

We probably bombed Mars

They can’t stop bombing earth

I’m probably closer to the truth than you are to standing on the moon

NASA is a scam

Stop taxing me

I can’t wait for the space shuttle to crash into our beautiful ocean – destroying sealife

It isn’t “in space” it’s “free falling earth’s gravity”

Fuck you

Posted on March 1, 2023 by poeeternal

Directed (poetry)

A purchase has been scheduled / directed by the devil / but nothing I can’t handle

The United States / a nation of immigrants / minus the Native’s they enslaved to get it

Dear Father
Please respond
It’s a matter of death
I’m overcome

But I’ll push the latter
While falling off the ladder
Which one will matter
I’m growing madder

From seconds to 40k / I want my own driveway

Seed collection

I’m saving more than copper and silver, fuck you.

Tell God I’d like some place far from here to grow them.

This is hell. I wanna plant these babies somewhere else.

Even tho, they could be grown in the windowsill.

This.Is.Hell.

Help.

I hate how expensive it is to do anything. I hate the boomers.

There are things I don’t hate.

Seeds. Sunshine. Shade. Spring water. Nuts. Squirrel. Pretty bird. Crow.

I once liked having a job too. I’m considering remote work.

I’ve lost my mind but still have a Bachelor degree. Whatever that means.

I hope remote work.

Otherwise engaging at a sit down job at Aldi sounds potential.

“You plan on tossing him on the grill”

“Yum”

I’m sick of chasing my tail inside the deathcare health system

I ain’t better yet

But I’m sick of sitting around waiting to die

Working the movie ticket booth sounds ideal – weekends and weird hours no one wants.

Also me: I can’t fucking breathe

But I got my 20 minute rebound session in – getting fit with gravity

The rent is paid. They are dicking me around about my carpet “more time”

M’kay but calling the Health Department soon and whoever else I gotta…

I gotta download another app to do anything huh

Jetpack? A filter ontop a filter ontop a filter

Please no more

I don’t want to grow my seeds here

I don’t want to live here

I don’t want to die here

I’m sick of being sick

All woe ~~is me~~

But I had a multigrain bagel with cream cheese and avocado for brunch (groceries from home) with hot chocolate and some sort of milk with probiotics but no lactose and yum

I am trying to get fat

109 pounds currently

(Steel abs, peachy peach)

(Looking zombie in the face)

(Need him)

Land near Yellowstone is cheap (pro)

But it’s near a volcano (con)

Flip a coin?

I do like my investor inbox, FYI

I want my own business cleaning shit no one else wants to do

“Phew that was rough but we got 3 bags done”

“High five”

Like I wanna help people who are nearly dead and dying – not die

I need purpose

Which isn’t working 3 jobs to pay the electric rent insurance

There’s verifiable proof immigration makes the rental and housing market increase

I’m not getting anything out of being alive

When every dime goes to keeping afloat

Posted on March 1, 2023March 1, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Tasteless (poem)

I had to make order of the chaos
By getting rid of it
Crying lots and a little bit
Putting dying on hiatus
Changing energy from stasis
Burning bridges and first basis
I’m the best at tasteless

I know you’re out there. ~~I know~~ you still love me.

The furniture was removed for free yesterday.

I was grateful and humiliated at the same time.

I wish I had offered him more than a protein treat for reward.

He took the treat.

I wish he would have taken my humiliation with him out the door. But alas, it remains with me.

There is nothing here but broken dreams and damaged carpet.

I am but a shell.

Crawling back to theta mode

I hate it here

This manmade infected environment full of natural flavor and narcissism

I know you’re in love with a prostitute

Did you know the government makes money from prostitution and most porn is made in California and Nevada made prostitution legal and our doors are open to immigration 24/7 and there is a direct link to sex trafficking and prostitution

I get called a “manhater”

The place is empty of life or longing.

Dogs and cats are not native to the environment

Just wanna see earth win

White people should be on the endangered species list – check the census

Glad Black Lives Matter are the only one who matters

Posted on February 13, 2023 by poeeternal

Struts and Shocks (poem)

I’m struts and shocks / your heart tied in knots / his equinox / if I’m there or not \

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.

Postscript

He said I had some seconds left in my tires, I said, well, what does that mean?

He said, “they ain’t got any life left”

I said, well, how much is that gonna cost me?

(You know, everything)

They took good care of her, cleaned up my brakes – got off the rusty business. I’m uninstalling the step up bars next stop, getting the spark plugs and tires replaced.

Eventually, the shocks and struts.

Could I sell her for the pretty penny CarMax offered me? Sure. I could sell or trade her in for a “younger model”.

But it’s Valentines, we’ve been together since 10K miles, I’m not ghosting her or leaving her in this hellhole (please God, we want out)

You seen Thelma and Louise? We’re together til the end. Potentially.

Hopefully not such a dramatic ending but I daydream of it.

Fantasize about ending my life.

Don’t want her to be a casualty of war driving off a cliff

Apparently when you take your ride into the shop, if you say things like “she’s a good girl”, “she just hit 76k”, “she’s making squeaky noises”, – they will assign more value to your ride, as my technician was still tweaking her, even after he drove her around to the front, he was on the ground, tool in hand.

I said, “can we get rid of that thang” and honestly, it wasn’t even installed correctly (so Pep Boys will be removing my step-up underbar next visit, no charge).

Struts are likely third in line for install – but poem written anyway.

I was like “can the rust be cleaned next visit” not realizing he already took care of that – as they were spic and span heading to the car (it’s an SUV)

Maybe, today instead of coming to work, and hating your job, you appreciate and value it instead, happy customer means more business – and not because you did something shady – but now you can relax knowing hooker income is incoming

Simply for doing your job and being proactive

He went above and beyond – or did his job – to the BEST of his ability – instead of quietly quitting

But there was no tip jar

There was no option to tip

I hope to hell God let’s me escape here

It’s good to have goals in hell

Some of the savings was depleted but that’s what the savings is for…

Right?

That’s why there’s 4 different saving pots to pull from.

I’ve decided I’m heading to GameStop to sell the ps4. Whatever the offer is – give it fucking to me.

I gotta replenish the gold at the end of the rainbow

I ain’t even got a TV

And even when I did, the sucker stayed turned off six months

That fucking propaganda box cost me everything

I haven’t renewed my lease so

Turned in all my library books – not wasting any more miles driving to that gorgeous dump

The sun was burning me through the window and I was asking/praying was I “doing the right thing”

“Should I be here, replacing my drive train belt”

I feel like I gotta escape a black hole…

Tires and spark plugs next

If God will may…

Make way for the Great Escape

To where?

A fucking homeless shelter cuz have you seen the price of lodging these days!?!?

$2k per month for extended stay

Or $2k for an acre of land and free sunshine

Fuck you

Posted on February 13, 2023February 13, 2023 by poeeternal

Eat (poetry)

I could eat contempt / wrap it with lament / file it tax exempt / yell “god damnit” / my brain will forget / I haven’t cared yet \

Searching for you in typeface / underlines / and heartbreak / happiness is our stake / a gamble we should take \

A thousand miles from nowhere / I want to go there / ask God there’s hope where \

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.

Posted on February 12, 2023February 12, 2023 by poeeternal

Wish (poem)

I wish he would bed me / take me down the aisle / then fucking wed me / I wanna get heavy / not fucking buried / I wanna get married

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.

Posted on February 12, 2023February 12, 2023 by poeeternal

Bloody Valentine’s (poetry)

This comment is hate filled / a sinkhole / for you to build.

There’s likely bloodstains in the carpet / bloodstreams of my target / am I the carcass?

He shot her in her wedding dress / but love her / he’d never confess.

Father / they’ve all chosen sin / and I’m sinking / in quicksand.

Hey Sun,

How did you rise?
With light in eyes?
Is there time to shine?

Hey Sun,

Am I alright?
The peerless moonlight
Will we unite?

(Love you forever)

Postscript

*do something / act abnormal to run your blog readers off*

*insert insanity here*

*program successfully installed*

I got John hanging in front of me, and dear Edgar in my rearview, in a puff of smoke, just loving the 10k hand I have drawn.

Werd.

I could use a real hand getting the apartment prepped to be stripped of this danky old carpet, and replaced with some fresh skin (lighter color too)

Don’t even know if I’m staying

LAUGHS

Immortally insane

Running through my vein

Edgar wants me to pick up a typewriter and get off this broken iPhone

I knew the phone was subject to break – but alas – even with these cursive powers – I did nothing to stop its fall

Oh shittte, it broke more than I thought

BABE

Fuck Apple, it’s a 6, I’m done selling shit – and jump off a bridge

But there’s poisoned sweet potato pie in the fridge

There is indeed, God bless, we’re gonna learn to make a healthy pie, but for now, poisoned pie for Valentine

*squee

Postnote: I ignored all the ingredients when I saw the price marked down to $2.50 with a date of 2/15. Said, “you’re coming with me”

But for real tho, don’t buy the pie

(It’s poisonous)

(You die, I die – but we’re not together, Romeo)

P.S.S.S?? Been rebounding my ass off (the rebounder fitness – resistance training – getting fit with gravity – weeee)

I’m two scenes on repeat currently – in my favorite film – Made in Heaven (1987?)

The one where he’s tossing his drink in the mirror / laying in the road screaming to God / Emmet “as himself” AND

Her, crying in public on the street – she got arrested too – dark days ahead

Welp.

GOD: if you don’t find each other, you’ll both be miserable

God: there’s no guarantee you’ll come back

Me: YOU TOOK MY LIFE

The roses are dying / cuz I’m done trying / the crow is black / his heart tarmac

*insert another copyright here*

I wore a t-shirt to the medical clinic once – with Poe on it – and the technician asked if it was Hitler

Millennial or GENZ

I sighed and said “Poe”

“Kind of a popular stash then tho, huh…”

“Hitler”

*makes awkward attempt to continue on with life wearing such an offensible shirt*

(Wonders if others mistake Him for Hitler too)

*creepily laughs

These motherfuckers are in charge

*nearly chokes on the air

*tries not to die*

And in a more recent attempt at “getting out and socializing”

I ordered food – through a drive thru

It wasn’t busy – I had time to count my cash – fuck the elite – you wanna be a cashless society and track me huh – fuck you – cash everywhere or boycott

Him (another Millennial/GenZ): why did you give me so much money!?!? *looks at me stumped like I’m stupid

Me: what do you mean!?!? *looks confused / haz brain injury / why am I so stoopidd

…well, I, gave you MORE to get the big bills back…

Him: *clearly confused – counts the money – proceeds to hand me a ten back, a five, and some silver.

So apparently I’m not stupid. Just pre- computer age.

I once had to work at registers where you needed to know basic math – to count change back

Remember when they upgraded the register to tell you the change back

MY GOD they made us beg and groggle for those jobs!!!!!!

“Don’t discuss your income in the workplace”

FUCK YOU

I mean, Happy Valentine

Burn in hell

*insert shitty photo of me here

I don’t want to see myself in the mirror – or on my blog currently – tho I haz space now

I wants new blog

*stomps feet*

I wants better home

*if I buy the land / will you buy the home?

Tell me, I need to know!!!!

A rose garden / an iron fence / him dressed in darkness / at my defense / our first kiss / give me this

Posted on February 11, 2023February 11, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Attic (poetry)

I have gluten free parts / unless you count my farts.

I run my visitors off / like a cap I’m twisting off / Kiss them with scoff /but first to read their blog.

Sweet kiss of oblivion – heart like obsidian.

I gave him my love / still he / tossed it in the mire / made me walk on fire / like I’m some liar.

Why would he love a dead red sea / is that what I’m becoming / is there good in me?

Left behind
But forced to go on
Through the grime
Delete my life
Rearrange the pie
Crunch time

He’s interested in the context
Not the poetry but my point next
He gets into the prospect
What makes me sad
What I detest
He’s like a mirror what I reflect

I woke up with money, and I mean a lot;
Unless you think ten grand is not.

In the far recesses of your heart, moving forward and backward feel the same

If you’re gonna reset the deck
Don’t write the check
Force your hand instead
Erase the bet
Need savings to your neck

Montana
Mountains
Call of the wild
Throw a dart
I’ll drive there

God recalled
Every little sin
One of God’s flaws

Find me in the attic
Uncovering mirrors
Acting erratic
Unlike the flickers
They seem more static
Visions are clearer

I’m usually not wrong with my calculations unless it’s math
Then I have to ask

I don’t know what hate is / I’m only torn by love

Heads up: A lender reported that the status of your account is now current. Drifting but determined. Maybe we’re learning. But watch for what is coming…

FOR THE RECORD: I hate my online etiquette but I’m at odds to change it.

It’s me not you…

P.S. I’ve yelled at my body to “grow up” so much in the mirror but alas I’m this tiny fucking thang.

No man has ever made me feel like a woman either.

So fuck you.

But please stay.

I wish he’d remove my clothing – instead of my wings.

Posted on February 11, 2023 by poeeternal · 5 Comments

Separated (poetry)

Separated by billions of light-years / this love

I’m using line breaks now. Am I a better poet?

I do crave the sound and clack and annoyance of an old typewriter.

I’m not going to put a filter on my poetry like Boeing put one on to tell the plane it can fly

Up down, up down, up down 18 times before it took a nosedive into the deep blue sea

The President: “you’ll need to rebrand”

GMO: “we’re Bioengineered Ingredients now”

The FDA: “we don’t want to tell you what’s on the labels” / NATURAL FLAVOR in EVERYTHING

(It was mad in a lab)

And now companies act like Coca Cola using “secret formulas”

It says it’s good for me so it must be true

(They’ll believe anything)

STOP TOUCHING ME AT CHURCH SPEAKING IN TONGUE

The sounds of my ribs breaking across the ocean as I leap from a bridge / has got to be better than the noises my BLACK LIVES MATTER neighbors love to make

Marriage / or go Hulk / take out the city block

Okay, I get the idea / but isn’t my context good enough

Did you know an acre cost about $2k grand?

If I started the paperwork, I could buy around 7 acres ~~tomorrow~~

I’m only begging God for 1-5

Did you know I’ve already started collecting seeds?

Special seeds. For ~~our~~ garden.

EVE needs THE GARDEN

I dreamed the birds came to me

Fuck you.

Go enjoy your prostitutes

I should never be included in “a list” (top or not)

I already fell for you / asshole.

You destroyed my wings

You stripped me! Without consent!

If you don’t give me my mini garden the world will end

I know it’s what you what

Nihilist

And I’m gonna be crawling for John Jones / you better get over it

The world doesn’t revolve around YOU

Others need my special love – my light / it’s fading

My signal soon gone

My last will and testament is to die in peace

Man is only concerned with AI and “man’s best friend” and his own inventions

Destroying the world White lives & Native American first – well there’s been other resets

6th mass extinction currently – all with malicious intent “we create our own reality” / we destroyed Mars

Now we’re off to “save it” only we can’t leave earth

Van Allan Belt

NASA says “they made worse”

I need to ~~train for cold weather~~ grow some thangs

I’d rather gut myself with my bayonet / than to let him see me in real time / at my worse

(~~no filter in the real world~~) “weathered” (one of them that shouldn’t be in the sun / fuck you)

Tell him / I need more time

(God too please)

Posted on February 11, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Midnight Sun (poetry)

He’s like a long-winded walk
Under midnight sun
And though he’s likely not you
He’s to blame for all you’ve done

*insert clever line breaks here*

Posted on February 11, 2023February 11, 2023 by poeeternal · 1 Comment

The Hunger (poetry)

Did you ever think God needs you here to keep this place from going under
You’re light and thunder
Relax your plunder
I need you longer
To wake from slumber
Realize the hunger

Postscript

I write for God now.

Could you please let God know I’m exhausted and need to rest a bit longer.

These demons have not stopped pounding me since I was born.

My dreams consist of multiple murder and full vape pens.

The mind normally gets what the mind wants

The face may show sadness, the eyes show rage

“The scientists” say that once bees are dead – all life will vanish

“The scientists” have fucked around with the genetic coding of honey bees, which has resulted in a 50% life reduction drop.

The honeybees only live 50% of the life God had intended for them – now that the “scientists” have reduced their genes to half life.

They thought the bees would be “more productive”. Pay attention

These demons are killing EVERYTHING

I do not fear imprisonment, my heart would self-annihilate or I’d ensure humane ending via a cop ending my life prematurely

Keep swinging your dick on the road like you have more importance than ~~everyone~~ women

Tell me something is wrong with me again

I’ll respond: what’s the matter honey? You in-love with a prostitute?

Yes. We know you all are.

The studies say over 50% of men want love with a prostitute and would legalize prostitution

There’s also a direct link to sex trafficking and prostitution – with testimony from men, “she looked trafficked and frightened and underage but it’s what I want”

Fuck you

Cut me off again, anywhere, anyday

You only treat prostitutes with respect huh

Like this book “racing the light” that I checked out from the library just yesterday – nowhere in the synopsis did I know porn would be the subject.

So far, the writer has used his characters to complain about the daily women, one being a “skinny scarecrow”, the other being “fat” – yet glorifying the porn star on the poster, how she looks amazing wearing “all black”. How they wouldn’t fuck her during a podcast show because they have boundaries

GET IN THE FUCKING SEA

I’m done reading!

Chapter 7! He’s on his way to meet the famous pornstar!

Gag me! I’d rather die than live in this porn infested society!

Stop conditioning!

This book should not be at the library!

Walmart and the mall should not be selling sex equipment in front of children or me!!!!!!!!!

FUCK YOU

Tell God I’m angry!!!!!!!

The honeybees deserve more!

Science is unethical!

Art is sin!

90% of all murder happen by men!!!!!!!!!

The other ten percent I’m contemplating falling in!

So many men are committing crimes they are reducing sentences – opposite for women – hardly any do so punishment is more severe

Rules for thee, not for me

I’m gonna fuck you up if you smile at me incorrectly or refuse to open the door when you see me

Cut me off again

I triple dare you

Money don’t mean shit to me

Ending your pathetic society tho – like Bonnie ~~and Clyde~~

I dream of it

DAYDREAMS

Of bloodletting

With the de-lite

~~BLACK LIVES MATTER~~ / ASIAN HATE ✓

All before morning coffee

Born this way

Need him to go where I’m going

The library is no longer a safe place for me – I’m angry and contending with that now

I sensed this with the LGBT and Boomer staff lurking and the “smell of lies” and the street political thugs in gold begging for my signature

Still there was hope

Briefly

It didn’t last very long

People ruin everything

I’m finely crafting my monster and angelic side –

Men have suppressed me from sex and defense

They get sex and murder – with the slap of a hand

Cut me off again

I can’t be the only woman feeling this way

Gonna start a riot

The way doctor lady swallowed when I told her “according to the latest studies over 51% want love with a prostitute and would vote yes”

Gutted her right there in her stool

Continued gutting her with more facts

I’m maybe the Oracle but get treated like Agent Smith

I’m maybe Neo Trinity Morpheus too

“Why me Gabriel” (you’re going to hell for the life you took – you’re fucked)

Should I join the order of Satanism? I was reading over their website – I read the DR book age 16 – it cost money to join – they say titles are earned – whatev, give me Priestess or fuck off – I will keep my $$$

Also, should I join? The order?

Of Satanism?

Revenge is a dish served by an Angel rogue in hell

It’s just another form of narcissism carefully crafted

“We’re not religious but we are, we think we’re Gods”

LAUGHS

Oh yeah?

So adorable

I really enjoy spending time in the sun getting “weathered” and feeding all God’s creatures

Probably causing them more harm but the intention is good

Tell God I’m sorry for being such a fuck up

I know I’m suffering cuz I died via suicide – this hell

But when do I?

I’ve been conditioning myself to do it since in womb

Age 5 on the kindergarten – got in trouble for putting “string around my neck and pulling” – wasn’t allowed sunshine or going outdoors for weeks (fuck you)

You treat prisoners better than civilians

I’ve got scars from cutting on my body

Charming

I worry more about my stretch marks than I do scars over my big veins

LOOK: TRIED TO KILL MYSELF THAT DAY

Wanna get married?

*jumps from bridge

Posted on February 9, 2023 by poeeternal

Anti-Valentine (micropoetry)

I should move the place you most hate; get a little cabin by the lake.

Posted on February 9, 2023February 9, 2023 by poeeternal

Merry-Go-Round (poetry)

Am I sleeping beauty?
Put under spell?
Are you creeping monster?
Or savior in this hell?

Am I just gloomy?
Cheerful carrousel?
Are we fast moving?
Or racing parallel?

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved. No portion of this website, including text, photos, and videos, may be reproduced, copied, saved, transferred, or transmitted in any manner, digital or otherwise, without written permission.

Mary go round – the truck – like a vulture – ready to devour the dead

Welp ^^ ^^

*bat wings

Posted on February 8, 2023 by poeeternal

Stay in the light… (poetry)

The light moves
Through dark and greys
The way it soothes
When heart would stray
It won’t lose way

Postscript

I think the sun is likely female

Light is information

Your heart, brain, your nerves electrical

Little light-beings

Not your fleshlight

“I’m sorry Cooper, you had a gift and you didn’t get to use it”

If only my parents would acknowledge their mistakes with their children

The father must be wondering if he’s sending his sister out into the great unknown to see if “I am happy”, in which, “I am not” and I’m stalking my father to see if his address is on the sex registry, where I learned a list “is not forever” – in fact, many states are reducing the length of time a name should be on

My own flesh was surprised to just learn that the list “is not forever”

The list should be one list and forever

Maybe I should go pay the ole father a visit

Will be hard to look upon him without spitting or disgust

Can barely write this now without snarling

The Boomers sold America out

Need land. Want to grow things.

Been disassociating. Have money. Lots.

LAUGHS

I swear to fuck, Edgar just said, “this one’s on me”

He doesn’t want me dying in the street

Been there, done that mentality

I need a lock of his hair and Jone’s skull

Thinking of buying land out in Montana

I’m gonna get him outta that fucking hole

People do it… I’ve read

Years later. A recovery after the government said no.

They were later blessed.

They just went in and did it, danger and all.

Some die trying. Bless.

But many mostly succeed. Determined.

He wants out. It was his final wish. His last will and testament.

Management thought a death would bring in more $$$$. He was disappointed it closed. Surprised. I read his own fucking lines.

I wanna rip his fucking cock out with my teeth

Maybe I should write a story – fictional – and focus on buying land in Montana instead

The desert is probably a terrible place to grow things

Are there trees in Montana? Is there sunshine and a sun? What sort of food can I grow? What are the taxes like? What are restrictions like? Can I have a chicken coop?

Not to slaughter but I’ll steal the eggs – with gratitude and love

I don’t know how to take care of a plant, let alone a chicken…

I could dig a foxhole and protect them tho…

I don’t want to kill the fox tho

The fox is hungry

He will probably be getting fed..

All of God’s creatures can come to me for food

If God will allow me to provide for them

I want to be called Willow, or my land

“Willow acres” or something

1-5 acres is all I am asking for

I have a COE

Please ask God to protect me from my crazy behavior, I’m spinning wild

Should I buy land in Florida? I don’t wanna now – it’s gone – immigration ruined it 😦

*sadface*

The sinkholes, the limestone

Can’t even take a bath after knowing what recently happened to that one brother “in his bed”

What the fuck was he looking at tho? For real? The earth got mad!

Sorry don’t meant to victim blame

Terrible terrible way to go

Sinkholes are to be feared

And most Floridians fear them more than the gators…

Please stop using the animals as entertainment and selling their teeth

I still have mine – and cry

Poor baby gators

Getting their teeth knocked out for a few bucks

God made me so depressed

*sigh*

I always hated investing but now I’m trying to study and learn and just keep going over it until something finally sticks

The ah ha moment

All my research says stay away from the stock market if you don’t want your savings to plummet

I’ve had mine in investment funds for years – growing – ungrowing – I fear to peer

I didn’t know I had any at all

I thought I had lost it all

I have my down payment for my land or home – and I can borrow against it or remove it all (with a penalty)

Or keep investing (with minimal to high risk)

Are banks even interested in a $15k down payment? Does money still talk?

I’m talking 1-5 acres

Is cash still king?

Or do I gotta take in a gift card and doughnuts?

Shouldn’t they be feeding me? To get the sale?

The Army and Marines took me to lunch – more than once – the Marines heartbroken when I chose Army green

Oh boo, my uniforms are obsolete

And I’m so fucking small – I get lost in them now..

Can’t even sell the new ones – even old – cuz they changed uniforms again!!! Immigration is a Trojan horse!

Me and the old vets complain about how these kids don’t leave a building to fight…

They’re planning something sinister

Is Montana a good place to move? About to throw a dart…

Posted on February 5, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Lunar Light (poetry)

This place is set to sink

The message on the soap bar reads
E
S
C
A
P
E
The ghost in the mirror says the same

Snuff out the circus
From steering wheel
One hand will surface
No face but purpose

Maybe John didn’t pray hard enough
He didn’t crawl hard enough
He didn’t bawl long enough
Maybe John had given up…

I’m taking out the trash –
The neighbors “entertainment” blaring from the car window is worse than what’s in the bag

Children are heroin to a pedophile
You shouldn’t leave ANY MAN alone with a child (public counts)
They do it in a crowd

Avoid the stock market
Unless you want –
Your savings to plummet

The way that monster extended his hand for me to walk
The trust it took to cross

He stands in the doorway
Dressed as darkness
As death
Thick as a highway

He rides
Like chance is his market
In a blacked out Chevy
Crying my name

I read through the fine print
You must’ve gaslit
Or put an asterisk*

Chill out babe
People need to eat

They should be chasing me
Like a current
But the crickets are chirping
And nobody knows it

Green yellow red
Tartan
His favorite, he said

Final curtain call
Last watch before the fall

He treated her with little worth
Even when she showed him mirth
On a broken earth

Going out on top, in the middle, or none
It’s all the same sum

He said he needed her
She prepared for the apocalypse
The lies eclipsed between his lips
Lunar light from fingertips

You wanted –
You were denied
Like spear in side
Not dignified –
Hope you like the ride

Today I asked myself, “are you okay?”
But the reply was, “I’m not sure…”

(Tell God I’m lost)

Kidnapping season has arrived
Better hide so I don’t die

I fell so far down the rabbit hole
I nearly lost my soul

The Devil greeted
Said I looked mistreated
Gave money then pleaded
“I’m welcome when needed”

(True stories from the pawn)

🙂

We wipe every trace
Of any mistake

They tremble when I enter room
Eyes spell doom
Searching soon
But for who?

“Are you feeling suicidal or homicidal today”

MY LABS ARE FINE

You lie, I lie. Eye for an eye.

Professionally paranoid
Not me, another boy
At least one is getting paid for

“Life jackets worn
Nobody mourns”
But my vein pours
I’m the Queen of Thorns

Some of these poems deserve their own little graveyard.

Queen of Thorns – Merrie Magdalene – maybe God wants me with no man

I missed his cues. Trembling in my blues. Set a trap or two.

Does he know how hard it was
The darkness
He wanted to turn me into haunted

Thanks for cutting the cord on us
You were really dangerous

He’s unstable
Like a megabomb unlabeled
He cut the cable
He’s so ungrateful
But gave me the label!

He pulled the plug
Couldn’t handle my love
Thinks he’s so smug
But I laid the bug
Lesson comes from above!

Sucker!

GENX – the absolute favorite

“FAIRLY YOUNG – not 400 pounds” (could he be anymore of a pedo tho) (asking for a friend)

(Sorry – autism is real – my thoughts have sound)

His hand is cruel
But the trap I laid was too

There was never any other
The devotion was always him
Every single hour
I had given in

Money in the wallet
Money in the bank
Money sweet like chocolate
Money in the safe

The self-sabotage trap was set
It shone like gold
To a thief – made his tongue wet
He lost his foothold
Have I won the bet?
Did his black heart fold?

THE DEVIL STUDIES ME

What deed does this warrant?
Keep my soul stored in storage

I NEED A FOREST

His hand is too stern
For an Angel
He should’ve waited his turn
He’s cutting lines in hell

“Not competing”
Even when I’m dreaming
Though I don’t know his face
Or where I’m leaning

You terrible fool.

She complained but then
He had her condemned
Didn’t like her dreaming
Couldn’t call her friend

This page no longer exists
You’re careless!

You’re not a king –
Your word doesn’t mean a thing!

Disgusting john
Gone first dawn
Dream was wrong
He’s a moron

Dreams and fantasy do not occur at the same interval

Dreams in mirror are closer than they appear

How to get rid of a ghost during a self-sabotage attack:

[ ] Step 1 – tell him/her you dreamed of another

No child left behind
Except –
I’m in decline
Falling further in line

You need me so bad huh
Prostitutes are the only one to see your face (get dinner too)

“God isn’t here”, he implored!
But did I not give him everything he was asking for?
Endless love –
But still I gave him more.

No one can join, no one can leave
Thank you for releasing me
To the wildebeests
To the north and east
Do you love me least?

Despite all them hours given –
I didn’t earn enough to maintain my blog or equipment
Unlike the prostitutes you are paying – a decent living…

TO ALL – the shoe fits

“I’m not gonna make it”, she cried
“I know”, he yelled, as he cut the line…

(People never mention that he loved her from the moment she walked in the room and said “no you’re not” or that he killed that one guy closer in order to save her, or how the dad said he should be making babies and he next found her on a wild excursion – love is the anomaly sure sure)

Will she even be alive when he gets there, or will she too be crushed by a landslide – like how he cut the cord on her – to fall into a black hole – Murphy’s Law – gotta leave something behind

God gave him everything
Including an an angel with imperfections
The way other poets had written
She made him smitten
Left her in a ditch then
Rode away with his riches
Wondering if love’s where he’s wishing
The endless bitches…

Who gave him the right to punish her with such effect that her wings were stripped and her gift neglect?

He cut me loose
Didn’t know what he would lose

She was an angel in hell
Half-virgin
Overworked and overburdened
Though lesson not emerging
His hand reflecting serpent
Now heaven can’t be summoned

She fell down in a pit of despair
Called a timeout –
He responded, ‘fuck off farewell’

You foolish fool
Pride got best of you

He cut his only lifeline to heaven
Didn’t to count to seven

Three times I would be denied
Stayed by his bedside
Over mortified
Underpaid but hoping he was satisfied
Now contemplating suicide

He pulled the plug
While I was alive and breathing
Telling world what all was needing
To keep on being

Did you forget your heart or something?
Lying on the floor?
All I hear is banging –
Coming from my door.

You’re not anyone to build a foundation with –
Because you have money
I have a little bit

The fat sun hung its head lowly

The answer is still no
Keep knocking though

He doesn’t know if he made the right decision – and he’s right – he really didn’t.

The way hopelessness trickled like a wave
I watched him climb into our grave
Facing death I’m brave
All I can do is turn away

You don’t know what you’ve done
Immaculate fool
Trap set for one
And in you flew

He needed me daily
So I pulled away greatly
Especially what I learned lately
How they pay prostitutes for “dating”

The way you left
In uncertainty
Waving like a theft
But claiming clarity

The world ain’t paradise
He misreads my lines
We’re wrapped in knives
Covered twice in lies

Shared finances?
Forget about it –
More like failed romances,
Where I commit.

Hard cock but weak heart

He left me with nothing
Took the rainbow and the rope
I’m barely coping

Took the boat
See him atop the waves floating
Going directions I ain’t going

Some days you gotta stay down

He had a speedboat
She had a canoe
He cut the cord
Near the waterfall, too

The Devil –
I didn’t know he was so easily triggered –
Who would have figured?

Excuse me,
I’m in the middle of self-sabotage,
Why are you requesting access?

What now honey?
You broke the truce

He fell into my trap
And that’s a wrap

Ask him why I left (he’s bereft)

Fuck! Why is he knocking?
Hasn’t he just left?
He hasn’t been far walking!
And now he’s got requests!

I shared special parts of me
I never shared with anyone
He took advantage of my generosity
Now he’s on the run

Our city is a barren waste
With heart like desolate rock
In a howling state
Give me the glock

I thought I could never live without “man’s best friend”
Until he turned demented
Hailed from a demon
A head that’s fed

I loved you
Any way possible
There wasn’t any doubt
A wide open ocean
There wasn’t any drought

Posted on February 4, 2023February 4, 2023 by poeeternal

Value (poetry)

My doctor thinks I have value
Maybe one or two?
How about you?

Postscript

Isn’t is my doctors job to keep me around – like I know an IV is plugged into my arm and I’m sitting on an MRI table with little to zero worth – full of self-loathing, scolding my doctor for making him late for his next patient, because “I’m not marriage material” – and he ain’t even a head doctor (therapist)

“How was your Friday night” – see above. Poem included.

Posted on February 2, 2023February 4, 2023 by poeeternal

Too Heavy (poetry)

Forgive me
Of these sins I carry
Wandering
Lost in hell

Check my itinerary
Turning left with Mary
Uphill cemetery
No cross too heavy

Postscript

Decade at this and Poe died on the street.

Looking back – leaving the Devil in the dust – picking up my run.

Put away my gun.

Eyes focused. Sun.

I’ve been unable to delete my Playstation account – via phone or web. Infinite loop.

Called the New York times today and bit a hole in their asshole. Data deletion kind of pending. Gotta jump through hoops.

I’m aside myself.

At Starbucks, in public, I saw a Mexican grooming a young white female.

The way she clung to her drink – her straw – not making eye contact with him.

The things I overheard.

The way he puckered his lip.

How I just stood there – like a fawn -idling in my car – until she looked at me – saw my distress – and I pulled off left her there, in her pigtails and little dress – ordered my coffee appallingly – swore off society again – spent all day having issues controlling my breathing or my heart – like a unending panic attack – I threw away everything in my closet – swearing off anything sexy – and men likely forever – drowning in sorrow like a little bitch – remembering scenes at MacDonalds as a young girl I’d rather not recall

Knowing calling the cops with suspicion and hearsay is futile – knowing the propaganda they serve

I’ve gone insane

But then today

Sitting in my car

Pondering to keep an extra calendar I acquired or not – deciding that someone in fact may still need one – it being February 2nd and all – someone may have decided they need a calendar after all.

Not even 20 minutes later – awaiting my appointment – someone at the counter – “you don’t have anymore calendars do you?”

They did not…

I spoke up – “oddly enough God told me someone might need one, and I dropped one off at the front where the coffee normally is”

He promptly went and scored his new calendar, came back with it proudly.

He was still looking over it as I was leaving my appointment, like a half hour later.

Bless.

He probably won’t ever throw that calendar away.

Meanwhile, I’ve got monsters ~~breaking me~~ freeing me from a curse

I don’t have time to finish this conversation because I have a physical therapy appointment to attend.

I’m doing things.

Got my 20 minute rebound session in.

The peach is looking rather rump.

Round rump.

The abs are solid hard core

To be homeless or not be homeless

That is the question?

Answers are coming

P.S.S.

I can’t help the people I love.

I can’t stop giving.

I know things before they happen.

Little things.

Like someone needing a calendar.

WTF is that!?!

What have they done to me?

What powers do I possess?

Posted on January 22, 2023January 23, 2023 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Marsh (poetry) I LOVE YOU

He’s the first one
At my den
Sitting front face
Right where he’s been

And when he’s out there
In the harsh marsh marching
Blood for his pen

I know his foot steps
Right where I’m sinking
Count on him

Like one through ten
The alphabet but then

He smells of gin
Spice or cinnamon
He’s like a ghost in quicksand
Cynical and disciplined

He’s the whole world listening
When I speak
He’s the sun peeking in!

Even when light’s missing
He’s thinking when
“Will I see you again”

As if the earth just doesn’t spin…

I got carried away with this rhyme

And maybe he’s my imaginary friend

But there’s only so many letters in the alphabet for him to appear

I speak in morse code – maybe he can hear

Is my rambling clear?

It’s freestyle dear… 🙂

Posted on January 20, 2023 by poeeternal

In-between (poetry)

I’m thick but thin
A contradiction
I’m wrought with sin
Mary Magdalene

The in-between is the longest
Gotta keep it honest –
John faced doubt like Thomas
Crawling like a novice

Hurry hurry rush / complacency

Removing compression
Lifetime depression
I love in discretion
I’m stuck in level seven
Suicidal without question

The devil has congregated where I sit!
The conversation’s better than this!

“Who dies many times before their death?”
The snake said under his breath –
“I like you best”

You will experience three deaths:
First the day you die
Second buried under sky
The last time your name’s replied

The sun is radio signals
The rain on my windows
My smile and my dimples
The end and middle
My skin and wrinkles

And Saturn is a satellite
I hope I hear from him tonight
Swinging in with moonlight
Watch for him by daylight
Got a big appetite

I am downward spiral
Hand won’t swear on Bible
I am God’s disciple
I am homicidal
Calmly in denial

“Well tell me you have hope”
It includes a smile and a rope!
Busy climbing but that’s not a nope!
Dying is a slippery slope

He looked on like I wasn’t average
What caused his absence?
Needed a moment to balance?
Slipped into madness?
Could he see my sadness?

I lay awake and alone in a dark and sprawling and empty house
Without a spouse
I don’t even have a mouse
Just a “dirty mouth”

“Miracle cures” –
Snake oil ain’t pure!
Satanic for sure!
Hell’s got constant tours!

The Great Filter is narcissism is a plague spread by Biblical propaganda, prostitution, and porn. These nihilists make you wish THEY were never born.

I don’t own anything but sorrow. Tell God I’ll see him tomorrow?

Posted on January 17, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Value (micropoetry)

Got rid of everything you touched
I learned the value wasn’t much

Posted on January 16, 2023January 16, 2023 by poeeternal

Yellow Fever (poetry)

I’m not Asian. I’m not a 10. I’m over 29. I’m God’s orphan.

They bleach their skin. Cuz Black Lives Matter. And according to the census, White lives don’t. FACTS

Asia number one

And I would’ve probably believed in the whole biblical bullshit had they not tried to convince me about some magical woman getting pregnant without any cum or some dude walking on water and now they want me to believe in dark matter, dark suns, dark worlds, dark planets – I mean you’re fucking delusional and I believe in death.

Narcissism is a plague

Those in “control” are nihilists

Man comes from vagina

Woman does not come from ~~rib of man~~ but vagina

FACTS

The first Bible can be traced back to Asia

“Made in China” – that’s what every Bible should say – not just the version cuz it’s been rewritten to serve Satan a million times

The Good Book with “words of Christ in red” should have never been rewritten. Period. Red flags. It’s conditioning.

And I knew it was all about control when I was just age 5.

I hated the cold atmosphere of school – and the misinformation taught

I even asked my mother, “who is in charge of what they teach us”

She is possessed by the Devil

She swears it is me…

LAUGHS

It was a terrible toxic environment

The folks need dying and dead

Gutted in the fucking street

Maybe then I’d get some sleep…

Posted on January 15, 2023January 15, 2023 by poeeternal

Forsaken (freestyle poetry)

Father,
I’ve been forsaken
Fell on earth
Still shaking

Whole world undertaking
You feel me aching?
Cursing while I’m breaking?
Nightmare got me waking!

I am awaken?

How light will break in?
Always knocking, Satan!
Tell him, I hate him!

My soul ain’t vacant!
I hope God is patient
Before world naked
I’m basic

Darkness so pervasive
I’m growing complacent
Getting stuck in places!
Knowing what John faces!

I’m faceless!
Falling down ain’t gracious!
I’m persuasive!

Smiling where I’m hated!
Holes in wall frustrated!
Emaciated!
Hung on cross related!

“Where do you get your truth?”

I am the truth – that’s why I’m facing you

6000 years of deleting my word

But you don’t know what’s coming

Or you do

So I expect you’re running

Split in two

Soulless, too

Through and through

I don’t actually have a problem with “dry rot write” (dry well, writing droughts)

I need to learn to shut the fuck up

And I felt like I could continue this poem on for several more lines…

So I stop for fear of going “overboard” but I really wanna just keep going four pages if I must…

I write. With brain fog edit. Post.

I don’t know when I will get another chance

The clock is ticking

I’m ~~obsolete~~ forsaken

😑

Posted on January 14, 2023January 14, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

I Do Not Sleep (freestyle rhyme)

I do not sleep in a rose-painted bed
With doves above my crown
I’ve got sorrow lying around
Like pillows drifting below

I do not sleep in a rose-painted bed
Where dreams assemble and grow
The visions of yesteryear
Left me somewhere dead

Postscript: Free speech below

What does it mean when shadows in your mirror appear?

Yeah, I can’t fucking sleep…

I’ve reached a new level of insanity

Please, not the streets.

There it is again!

Am I dying!?!? 😫

I mean, the poem turned out okay though?

God only made me average but I try and do it so well…

I fuck everything up, that’s a give

I want a rose-painted bed

I want a night of rest…

I want in his arms – I want to be valuable enough to be in the same room with a man – and not want to murder one another or break bonds

I’ve never imprinted

Feeling worthless is the baseline of depression

Posted on January 14, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Mess (poetry & free speech)

I don’t like showing him pictures
When I know he’s into perfection
And I’m leaning a different direction
Part of his daily “mess” collection!?!

I suppose when they’re paying for it, in their mind, they believe they’re getting top-tier sex, huh?

File me under Dante’s 7th level

You should have a file system like Inception – 9 levels deep (put me level 7)

Lucky number 7

Not first, not last. Made top ten.

Maybe with a ⭐️ on the file folder

Locked

“The chosen one”

Oddly enough my lifeline was 7 – I’ve done this seven times!?!

I’m on 7 now

The Matrix twas 6 times

If love is the anomaly, and they all think they love the fucking fake porn stars, and the prostitutes… uggggg

My grandmother stated “you must have a tapeworm”

She wasn’t far off potentially

My horoscope read age 15: “leo’s suffer from feet and heart issues”

My best friend before she died of suicide age 13, “something bad will happen to the world in 2003” – she was distraught – it was 1993

She didn’t live long enough to see her prediction come true

We went to war in 2003, I was part of the initial push into Baghdad, as a combat medic during the start of the war (she was long dead but it still fucks with me)

She literally came to school freaking out saying that she had a bad dream and that “something bad was going to happen in the year 2003, but she didn’t know what”

She died by suicide maybe a month later

She was 13…

Several years later her mother also died by suicide and they are buried next to one another. Their bones got a coffin! ❤️

A coffin plus one of those metal boxes that goes over the coffin…

Her bones have a home for now… ❤️

The point tho – predictions coming true

How!?!

I crawled into them!?!?

Someone up there is looking out for me!?!

I think it’s possible I might actually be locked in a computer against my will somewhere

The government took my DNA, blood, hair, signature, pledges and swears before the flag, like I was sold an idea about the US and that training imprinted on me 🙂

Just like porn imprinted on you

I’m trying to stay alive – get fit enough – to go down in battle

Total warrior

Like I’m still a Soldier who holds rank

They may have changed the uniforms, but I was never stripped of mine

I know the enemy wants me and my comrades dead

I’ve already lost family and friends

And I don’t know how responsible I am for my other family members who never even listen to me because they’re so fucking demented and toxic

My sister is dead, age 45

My fucking parents are still alive – and I’m growing resentful and weary of it

Agent Smith didn’t like the stench of humanity and I feel the same of narcissists

Every state should make sex offenders, lifelong. I wanna know who my fucking neighbors are.

And pedophiles say that they were born that way, they swear they were fucking born that way, so they can’t change, so it’s not like they’re going to be different in five or six years or 10 or 15 or 25, that’s just long enough for them to start fucking your grandchildren

They will have the best relationship with their own children just so they can fuck their grandchildren, and there are studies out there of this, it’s not hearsay

I also have a degree in psychology, so I study human nature

I swear pretty bird has started saying “thank u” instead of “pretty bird” lately – and normally soon after I’ve tossed out seeds n’ nuts

I swear it

“Thank u thank u thank u”

I don’t care about these abandoned cats tho – not natural to the environment – made in a fucking lab – carry disease – and are terrorizing the wildlife here

I will fuck a motherfucker up

And it’s extremely hard being an angel because I don’t know what I’m allowed to hurt, and what I’m allowed to not hurt

Fuck that demented cat, but it shouldn’t be my karma to call the pound on him

He didn’t even eat the tuna I put out

What a fat kunt

I like lions but hate “man’s best lab friend”

So the American Asians identify as a Chinese American, and probably wish to drop Americans all together once they fully take over our country – they value “Chinese culture” and are pushing their way of life on us here

I don’t recognize my own country

I come from a generation where we had to page people to communicate or go to their fucking door, and I’m kinda ready to go back to that sort of lifestyle…

I sold my TV

I don’t even want a smart phone

I want sex toys behind a black curtain because I don’t want to see it and I’m a fucking adult

I need food

But I stopped going to the grocery store buying anything and I’m trying to eat what I have in my house

When was it acceptable to blow your horn in the parking lot for someone to come down?

What is this trend of people turning their fucking cars off at the red light?

I’m done with society

They want a 15% tip for ringing you up and they can’t even get your order right or smile

I don’t want to do any of this anymore

If I wanted to live in Asia I’d fucking move there

I do not have yellow fever

And I will never support another Asian franchise in America ever again or buy anything from China, India, or Mexico

“You’re racist”

Correction: I’m homicidal

If you’re gonna accuse me of something, make sure you get it right

Homicidal is the new suicidal and we don’t fucking talk about it these days 🙂

Happy to help

Remember heal and save

Sharpen your blades (they will invade at night, at rest, they will not follow GENEVA)

I’d really like to show God what sort of warrior I am and it’s not getting gutted it in the street

And this is like minority report now, they will fucking commit you for saying something

I’m still on the good side of god (I fight and live for God) – this establishment worldwide needs to END and be dismantled and destroyed

The entire reason they do these wars is just so they can have their fucking prostitutes in different countries…

It’s mostly military and white men apparently (according to studies)

An entire nation lost

They are also making the animals suffer and it has to stop

What the fuck are they doing to these gators at the amusement parks? Selling teeth? I have some. As a reminder – of how fucked up immigration ruined my country – turning everything into a Sims theme park – creating depression – addiction – addicts – monsters – lost souls

The doctors and nurses are criminals

I still have my medical background that the enemy didn’t account for

“No one will listen to her”

“Censor her”

Me: sells TV, stops supporting society

And I spend time in the sun now without sunblock, and I don’t get burned

I absolutely can be taken down by the elements very quickly though, the cold, the heat, I have a heart condition

Thanks to the government and my gullibility

RIP John Jones

P.S. your rugs are dirty

Posted on January 12, 2023 by poeeternal

Demons (poetry)

He’s got demons on his back
An angel full on attack
In an order of the fallen
His heart is black
But I bet –
He can hear me calling!

I know where success recedes
I hope God notices my little deeds
Despite making mistakes in excessive speeds
Crawling headfirst to sacred needs
I know where hatred breeds
How repentance precedes

Free speech below 🛑⚠️🛑

It should be illegal to sell our data or spam us at our private home address.

The rain forest is being turned into a McDonald’s coupon

I’ve always felt uneasy wiping my ass with a tree

Since age 5 or something

FYI

We’re turning earth into mars

Remember the great dust bowl? Here on earth

Keep chopping down the trees…

Earth will turn into a dead planet

“Since 1970 68% of all life has gone extinct”

Don’t shoot me if I wind up in your yard

Naked out of my mind….

Don’t have me committed

Don’t do anything

Just pretend I don’t exist like you do now

Posted on January 11, 2023 by poeeternal

Labs (10 word poem)

My labs are fine
But man I’ve lost my mind

It’s not just in the koolaid, it’s in the water too

FYI

I not only have to fight the urge to not leap from a fucking bridge, I have to also not get committed against my will.

I made bean soup yesterday and there’s only one bowl left. Shame.

Ate half the pot in one sitting. What a gluttonous little bitch. Followed by a fat slice of upside down pineapple coconut cake 2.0.

One slice of cake, one bowl of beans left. It was a good run.

I’m still throwing my life away.

I hope I’m not next

Posted on January 11, 2023 by poeeternal

Trust (poetry)

My trust setting is lower than yours
Like opening sores
Instead of closing doors
I am dead for sure

I’m lost
And in despair
The maps will lead you there
Dying
Does anybody care

Men are capable of great things
Except for taking care of me

I’m so far from reach
Tongue has lost its speech
The big sweep
Got me on my knee
Locked in misery
Losing sleep

Depression is a roundabout. I need a different route!

Found my worth
Dying on the cross
But it isn’t your loss
Nor the hole in the wall
It isn’t your turf
But don’t let me go, Murph!

STOP 🛑 Free speech below ⚠️⛔️⚠️

The way the forest was crying. So I tossed out a homemade trail mix. I swear I hear tweets of “thank u” and cute little calming chirps from the squirrels. When I hear crow arrive, I boldly and loudly say “CROW” out my window to greet him/her. A couple evenings ago Crow said something and a kid loudly yelled “shut up” to the crow.

Also a kid violently threw away some trash and I saw a squirrel fly from the bush onto a tree – in fear.

So all things live in fear here – thanks to BLM ✊🏿

Someone was loudly playing a “pussy” song out here from their car.

Charming

An abandoned wildcat is terrorizing the squirrels. We have 6 or 7 living in the slums now.

Being homeless might not be so bad in the summer.

There was a tent but it was sold at the pawn.

Along with all the other cheap shit that didn’t mean a thing.

Been tossing perfectly fine hardback books away in the trash.

Yet holding onto some book with torn pages.

I’m to blame for the ripped pages.

I place value in things I shouldn’t.

I deserve nothing.

The weed stopped working, and God doesn’t want me disassociating anymore. Boo.

I spent a load of money buying hardware and now they decided to stop selling that hardware and they replaced it with new hardware so you can’t replace the batteries and recharge or anything like that and so like I’m just done with the goddamn bullshit everywhere including my phone

They want us to pay for the phone – and the service – and the storage – and now you need an account or an app to read or do anything

It took a shit ton of effort to delete my PapaJohns account – had to call them – took them several minutes of jerking off – and supposedly it is done. They are selling your data, to the enemy. Tracking you.

I just wanted to order pizza man. I’m done ordering pizza. Cool beans.

And then, if you don’t keep all these apps updated, they’ll just keep changing their policies, spying on you.

Bombarding you with ads “you will buy this”

Newsflash: energy is not endless like the sea. Those in power are delusional.

NASA is delusions of grandeur

America is selling sex toys in front of children everywhere, and me! It’s disgusting!!!!!!!

Fine! Starve me on the cross! I refuse to participate!

The weed don’t work no mo!

The eddies. The flower.

Long time ago homegrown lasted longer than this overpriced, GMO modified junk!

Tier 1, tier 2, tier 3

Fuck all that

And… the kicker… having to pay to enter a “medical building”

I have to jump through the hoops to get to my legal weed, but y’all are selling sex toys in front of the fucking children for “health and wellness”

And apparently on the street, they’re selling junk as well and you get sexually harassed and your goods stolen

Where the fuck did the mindfulness and community unity go!?! You could smoke a joint a be set for a good 7 or 8 hours in the 90s

Meet up at the tree. Break time. Wee

I don’t even wanna go to the movies or go to the restaurants or buy anything because everything is fucking poisoned and everyone has a goddamn attitude

And they want a 15% tip for ringing you up

Bitch, you didn’t even greet me nor were you smiling

I worked 3 jobs with a smile…

Gentrification exists

And NASA and Hollywood are the same entity. We can’t expend all earth’s resources getting to a dead planet – we probably destroyed with bombs and fearmongering

We killed off the dinosaurs too

Narcissism and nihilism is killing off everything

I’m sick to fuck of crying…

The day is starting

There was no sleep again…

“Scientists” continue to say that we are in a sixth mass extinction (new world order agenda) but overconsumption is due to narcissism.

I’m tired of environments being destroyed for a fucking shopping mall that will be a abandoned in a few years

It’s clear the enemy took over America

Give it time, the church will be selling anal sex toys for “health and wellness” too…

Get it off the icecream truck

Probably cheaper than the icecream these days

It’s all conditioning

One gen to the next

It’s a utophian nightmare

We can’t leave earth!!!!!

Stop killing her!!!!!

The divorce rate is 85%+!!!

90% of all murders happen by men!!!!!!

Wake up!!!!!!!!!

Please father, don’t let me die on the street

Down here with all these demons

“You’re gonna die of a good time down here”

WHEN!?!?!

The gaslighting 😩

Can’t even watch a film

Throwing out all my band memorabilia in the trash bin 🤩

So much moneytimeenergy wasted 🤩

There won’t be much left to bleed soon…

Posted on January 9, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Crow (poetry)

I wish I understood language of the crow
Been contemplating though
Talking to him through my window
And outside when I go

Posted on January 8, 2023January 8, 2023 by poeeternal

Tendons (freestyle poetry)

I am boney tendons
I am without intention
I am deep in ascension
Got your attention?

Like comets missing
Circling new dimensions
I need intervention
Holy brigade of his suns

Shining light on this one
His favorite weapon
Energized confession
It’s called possession

Postscript (contains free speech) 🫣

Holyshit, the wave is picking back up now. I’m in the eye of the storm.

I’m that scene when Trinity leaps from the building and falls into fawn mode

“Get up Trinity, get up…”

She had Neo to live for. The great anomaly. Love.

They wouldn’t even give John Jones a second phone call and it was Thanksgiving.

The real life ain’t the movies (but they made one about him and changed the most important details to suit Hollywoods agenda).

Now John has a nickname in heaven but I don’t like it very much. “LJ”

He likes his nickname but I don’t

It was on my upside down pineapple coconut cake

An L and a J

“LJ” was here

LJ (squared) (John Jones)

And if you don’t get the L reference – NICKNAME (too fucking bad)

Ask John what the L means

He will tell you

Or read some articles

I read every statement he said dying down there

Stuff from official Utah sources

Comments during the time

I READ COMMENTS FROM MICHAEL LEVITT VICTIM BLAMING

Recently a shadow formed on my wall in an L shape with a man hanging

He loves his new nickname but is sensitive to the fact that I’m yet not…

I made cake and I like feeding the squirrels and John has a new nickname

One day I’m gonna visit the caves

“LJ lives here”

It’s not even funny

It broke me

And I was dying of heart inflammation

He imprinted on me

His spirit

I want to cut Michael’s dick off

I want to do very bad things…

I bake experimental cakes instead

And the weed don’t work!

My meds stopped working!

“Get up Trinity, get up”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am getting a new blog soon

This one can just exist as an archive of major fuckup disasters

New pen, new identity

New deck of cards

I did it for love. I don’t know what God has in store for me

I hope it’s not dying on the street

The good news:

I don’t actually have to jump from a bridge

I can buy a gun

🙂

(Which is better than hanging yourself with a belt in your hotel room like Chris Cornell and Michael Hutchence)

Bless

I was so upset when I learned Michael died of suicide when I was 10.

EVERYONE I LOVE IS DEAD (-)

Did I tell you that John has been saving my life

I should not have got vaccine number two after vaccine one caused me heart issues

I’ll never get another flu shot or vaccine again

How much do you love your job to push your agenda?

I’m a Soldier, going down in battle sounds better than this bullshit of self-sabotage or “committed”

I probably failed my review board as I feared even mentioning being homicidal – although it’s the reason they ask all vets at the VA now

“Are you feeling suicidal or homicidal today”

It was always just suicidal until I was saying, “oh I’m feeling more homicidal these days“…

And I graduated to group therapy but there’s holes in my walls

“I fantasize about dying”

“It’s not a field day out here”

But it will be if the cops show up for me

(If I die here, nobody will know I didn’t want to…)

Although I’ve been blogging pretty heavily about it

“I hate it here as much as John Jones hates that cave”

LJ bless

Love you bro…

Posted on January 7, 2023 by poeeternal

Rather (poetry)

I’ll never wear fake jewelry again
And gifts received –
Returned with “I’d rather be dead”

Posted on January 7, 2023 by poeeternal

Lie (poetry)

“I’m not good with goodbye”
I know why you lie
Your head in her smile
Making me immobile

It’s all-or-nothing thinking
Oh look, I’m sinking!
“Depression is treatable!”
Unless you’re unagreeable!

I must be some kind of fool
I’m stupid too

Sinner or saint
I crossed a line
I filed complaint
Near heavens gate

What if my only plan is to love you
Like a wild sea
I’m raging
For you to pursue

One, two
Passing out the card
On top
First
To discard

I’m letting go of floppy drives
Pulling from my back the knives

How do I reach you?
Through the fog?
No dialogue?
The sky is blue?

There are still parts of me a virgin
Like my love for you
And I fell in my youth

I sit behind no curtains
Maybe old burdens
Cold and cursing

These serpents
Feast on virgins
I want to hurt them

Still converting
God is learning

My spirit forms in verses
Satan’s not in service

So apparently, I’ve ran more people off again, and this time it’s because I was busy… 🙃

Busy having a midlife crisis

Laughs

Dear Edgar,

We’re the same

With love from hell,

Your daughter!?!?

With Love From Hell (new book title idea but no idea has ever been my own and Google is broken)

Still fixing the mothership and vessels

48 hours ago was so intense

In the eye of the storm now

Gonna make upside down pineapple coconut cranberry cake today (with nuts and seeds)

Gonna eat it all….

I don’t know why I crawled deeper in the hole

It’s scary down here

No one could save me

STOP 🛑 ✋🛑 This section of the cave is not worth exploring. 2 people have required rescue.

Scratch that idea

Let’s close the cave for six months and make a new map without the dangerous location. That’ll keep em out.

6 months later…

John Jones crawling around with a headlamp from his childhood because even with strict entrance rules, the management was narcissistically terrible, and though quick to victim blame, twas managements fault. He got a promotion and award for killing Jones, FYI

“Why did you put me here?” John Jones (love you bro)

When there’s so much intensity followed by so much calm.

Make cake…

With coconut milk, coconut oil, coconut flakes.

NOM

Just a box cake glorified

Whatever they did to the medicinal, it doesn’t work for me anymore.

Florida is trying to make it recreational

Which is good cuz I’m done paying the state every 7 months to enter a 🏥 building

Fucking criminals creating addicts while modifying and poisoning the goods – it ain’t natural anymore – or generationally grown. It’s lab designed and shit. Stripped everything good out of it. Waste of time and money. Money drain pit.

And if you live in Missouri, you have to pay the state extra money if you want to grow your own weed, because fuck this establishment

“Globalism will be great” they said. I wasn’t convinced in college. I was right.

Never do listen to myself

This will change

That’s the intention anyway

Over and out

Posted on January 6, 2023 by poeeternal

Slums (poetry and confession)

I’m down in the slums
Marching around
Counting my crumbs
Mostly dumbfound

Two days ago I fed a squirrel.

Yesterday a squirrel grabbed my attention and brought a gang of his friends.

I fed them too.

I also added dry split pea to the seed and nut mix.

Now I got a bird grabbing my attention.

I’ll feed him too

I’m tempted to start buying squirrel and bird feed, and start spreading it everywhere (currently they’re eating my stash of food supplies) (I’m five pounds)

Stop on the side of the road, toss a bit

The city gonna start fining me for saving the world

It starts at home

And in your enemies backyard

They’re killing everything

Nihilism yah know

Psst I jumped into a deep pond

Now I’m somewhere 150 feet deep

I don’t want depth blackout

Thank God it was a full moon (I think)

It’s so cold down here a tear in my suit could send me to shock

I don’t know what’s next but the answers are coming (frighteningly)

I didn’t really have to crawl down here – but I panicked – and I did

I really deserve better than this

I think I’m learning my lessons and ready to try again

Need safe space

Where there is water moss will grow – especially when a source of warmth is involved

We can’t leave earth

Space exploration is a cool idea but that’s all it is and they go through great amounts to keep everyone asleep and hustling confusion

Astro physicist Neil Degrasse stated that the astronauts in the space station are not “in space”, he says “that is not space” and that he wants to go to the moon. He even stated the space station was “boring” and “didn’t want to do what 100 people have done before”

Let’s send Neil to the moon

Oh you lost all evidence on how to go eh

Oh the moon landing was rehearsed

Oh they didn’t have a phone line on the moon nor a way to talk from the moon to earth thus that famous quote we hear Neil say was actually recorded on earth (during rehearsal) (laughs)

So I might be moving

Onto the street

Come April 1st

Or, doors could be opening for me

There is no plan B currently

There is only isolation, packing/donating/selling/trashing my entire existence (minus some things I find valuable and I’d rather bury them in the dirt than tell you what they are)

I still sleep with my bayonet 🙂

I kept my vegan makeup and new closet items

And I’ve since added 4 new pairs of leggings to the collection (giving me 6 new pairs of comfies, nearly a week’s worth)

But some cause cancer

Laughs

So been hunting all cotton, wool, leather for wearing (sorry not sorry, natural does not hurt the eggs or delivery goods)

I’m not interested in memory foam no matter the name or price

That shit is toxic

Soon, the furniture will be removed from the apartment

The deep cleaning has already begun

I may need a shredding session like WaterGate

Only… I don’t know what files to keep or shred

People are dead

The deeds no longer matter

How long do you keep a receipt

And the looming tax files are the only thing I know for certain I should probably keep (medical and military records too)

Aside from that, I’ve got memories from folks and family I don’t want to remember

Or maybe I do

But all these things got to go

Things I’d like to do:

Yep so that’s about it…

Happy depression 2023

Posted on January 5, 2023January 5, 2023 by poeeternal

Offer (poetry)

There the offer stood
Like humiliation in the door
I guess life ain’t good
Unless you’re in a brotherhood

Apparently the thing I was fighting for does have value.

Most everything else that was gifted to me was cheap, fake shit.

LAUGHS

Jumping ship

To where, to which?

To be continued…. (praying)

“Don’t let me go, Murph”

“Don’t let me sell, Murph”

Great time to sell, not-so-much to buy.

Couldn’t really turn things around.

Sometimes nurturing old faithful is the better (and less expensive choice) (lesson learned after much research)

3 too many doors too many

I’ll chill here awhile

God: “what are you doing out here, it’s been ten years.”

Me: fuck the god damn doors, they all lead to hell…

God: “come inside”

Me: I’m fine in purgatory thanks

The noise is sometimes reduced to soul screaming only

“I talk to dead people”

God: “I made hot chocolate”

Me: why didn’t you say!!!!!!!!

*crawls inside*

Did y’all know the Bible that has been re-written many times (red flag) is actually Luciferian

Tis is…

The earth is alive

We spawned from here

Nihilism is a plague

“Too many men” according to Asian science (with malicious intent and purpose)

Narcissism is a plague

Sold/donated/trashed nearly 44 years of my life

Was gonna sell my uniforms but probably outdated and old (tho some new lol)

But not old enough to be vintage sought after

Just basically obsolete because gentrification exists lol

Once the uniforms are gone, I’m completely lost down here

Can’t even take my training with me when I die

Welp

Posted on January 4, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Dear World (poetry)

Dear World
I’ve no one to write
Dear World
I’ve lost will to fight

Posted on January 3, 2023 by poeeternal

Bond (poetry)

I come without bond
Broken
Look inside
Heart ain’t coping

Like leaping ledge
Just barely hoping
Your foot will land
But surface sloping

Man I am obsessed with cave diving deaths. Death in general because we were holding hands. Depth blackout terrifies me.

We can’t leave earth. We can’t even explore past 150 feet safely inside the earth.

What were you doing down there, John.

People will easily talk you into your death.

Give you maps withholding information needed to make valid decisions.

These demons try and avoid karma and fate by getting you to choose the wrong door.

I don’t want to go down with the ship.

There’s gonna be light at the end of the tunnel for me and that’s gonna be my way out of here.

Got an online offer on my Jeep. Not sure the avenue I’m going here – but why not downsize my ride.

I love her too much and I can’t take anything with me to heaven.

I also looked to see what they were being sold at with my mileage and year.

An SUV no longer serves my purpose here.

Would go down with the ship but why.

There were spaces on the lifeboat’s.

Lives could have been saved…

I’ve stopped crawling headfirst (still headstrong unfortunately)

“The answers are coming, rest Neo”

Nearly died, completely turning my life around.

Still learning basic concepts

Like how no man has ever seen me with any value – and destroyed everything I owned – while watching me work so hard to prove my worth/existence

But gentrification exists, because the rich hoard everything and they love us watching us fight for the cheap shit

A bone just to survive

I’m resetting my game. I’m allowed.

End game/Quit. Reset/Start over.

This time I go forward knowing my value to man is NONE.

Which is fine because 1-5 have an STD and I can’t look at any of them and take them serious.

Even if I wanted to date, the pool is tainted.

It ain’t worth the dive.

I live for God now. Sorry not sorry.

And I went back to the Mall. Spencer’s had even more hardcore sex toys out – and little boys were around.

I nearly threw up.

I don’t want anything to do with this porn infested devil society.

I’ll never know what it’s like to be valued or loved by a man – because I don’t have fake tits or come with “instant gratification” mode.

Sex with us commoners is boring to them

They hate our existence in general

The divorce rate is 85% and 1 in 5 men have an STD.

I know I’m boring and cheap so why you looking anyway.

You can’t afford me.

Honestly, it’ll take a miracle to get me to date now knowing one in five can give you cancer (there are some known parasites that can be spread through human contact) (they didn’t give us the nitty gritty in school but I got the good education some of the time)

Research parasites that cause cancer – then “human contact” (they won’t tell you it’s in the man’s sperm)

But you can catch a parasite from a cat box or kissing on an animal or eating food

The labs aren’t designed to see them (with malicious intent and purpose)

The elites were plagued with parasites

LAUGHS

I live for God now (unless he finds me a husband without an STI/STD or porn addiction or addiction of any kind unless to me)

🤪

BABES you can do this

It’s not end all

I did a CARMAX offer

If the physical offer holds up near as good as the digital, I may bite

Suddenly want a car…

Love the Jeep to much

Took good care of her, she’s at 75K miles

Feel frighteningly suicidal but at least this way she’s safe out of my hands

I want a little feminine car

And maybe some work from home or a hotdog stand

Do not want to die here

Do not want this hand

RESET GAME

“Are you sure, all data will be removed”

NO YES

No car, no address!

LAUGHS

Needed to lighten my load

Buoyancy

So many people have died exploring caves.

The earth is alive

Stop selling sex toys in front of minors. Like what the fuck

1 in 5 men have an STD and a divorce or three on their belt.

I got new skates for Christmas. Too much value, too much fun.

I once lived for man but they are obsessed with porn stars and always have money to impress and spoil and buy sex workers.

They love the backdoors and backrooms. Even the cleanest of them, the ones you’d never suspect cheating most definitely are. They use burner phones, identities, and make good use of work away from home.

In college I learned one husband gave his wife HIV/AIDS but started medication without telling her thus sealing her fate (it’s illegal to do this but men do not care) (the medication did not work for her because they did not start it together and he kept infecting her)

1 in 5 y’all

I may leave America all together

It’s disgusting here

My neighbors are gross

I want my neighbors to be the crocodiles and the crows

And a man that isn’t infected or at risk or risky behavior

Stop looking at me

Keep back ten feet

(I also researched other countries and their sexual health isn’t any better)

My best friend always said before she died by suicide age thirteen, “don’t be silly, put a condom on your willy” – Meika Capps

Miss yah babe!

Posted on January 2, 2023 by poeeternal

In Case (poetry)

I tried to shake him off
He wouldn’t go
He’d only flutter
And bop around
Organize the clutter
Prepare for undertow
“I love you” he will mutter
In case I didn’t know…

He’s a very clever otter and must have been one in his previous life. He doesn’t mind my storms. He collects the debris to build a stable foundation and home. 🦦

New writing game. Write a poem about my mistakes. Tell the world.

Eminem made a name of himself being a fuck up and Edgar died on the street and I’m somewhere in between of I don’t know what’s next for me

So there’s your theme 🤪

I am dealing with some serious real life issues and it seems the devil enemy has got me surrounded

“I hate it here” John Jones

Hear, hear

All the shops are closed. I’m having a meltdown and they’re enjoying a 3-4 day calendar holiday that they invented

This timeline isn’t real

April fools because 13 months originally

When I realized two weeks ago that the entire world is not on the same calendar and Ethopia is seven years behind….

I sold my TV 📺

I have 8,000 photos scheduled for deletion

My best friend got rid of everything before she offed herself too

I just wanna move…

From this building to another off property and preferably out of city

I know it’s asking a lot when I don’t deserve anything

Or maybe I deserve better things

Than the things ~~people~~ monsters have destroyed

Turns out they look a lot like family and friends

I dunno, they’re all dead to me

I’m trying to ghost Apple

But I’ll likely have a comeback

It’s why I’m fighting for my life

It’s called will

Once you lose your will to survive, the mold will get you

Especially if your foundation was built on a swamp and is ran by an evil Chinese dictator overlord slumlord

GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY, DO NOT PASS GO

If globalism is the reason, the land keeps going up and all the taxes, then please for the love of fucking God, stop immigration

Living in a tent soon (if I’m lucks)

Ohhh tent never used – going in the to be sold at the pawn

One less item to worry with jumping ship

CMON John Jones! We getting da fuck outta here bro!

He ain’t been saving my life in vain….

(If only my therapist knew I was communicating with the dead)

(She knows about the holes in my wall…)

(She understands why the sex toys being sold in front of the children triggers me)

(Cuz I was sexually abused as a child)

(“Oh”) *quietly sobs*

The sins of the Father 🤩

Satan is the Devil ran by an evil Chinese dictator

I mean, I wrote a love poem.

It is the end of the world.

His love is the equivalent of “stopping to smell the bloody roses”.

I like when he cleans me hypothetically.

“You’ve got some on your nose…”

Posted on January 1, 2023January 1, 2023 by poeeternal

Same (poetry)

Midlife crisis
Or awakening
The sacrifices
They all look the same to me

First poem drop of the year