And I’ll be able to feed the potential future hubby various versions of soup
No cabbage this time but added a couple handfuls of dry split peas
More rainbow carrots (grateful for the birthday donations, feeding my belly)
Lots of organic spices and a shit ton of the good salt!
A BIG potato
And I know I don’t have a fancy kitchen but I want to be able to cook soup out in the fucking forest over a campfire ๐
I even added lots of peppers and fresh would have been better!
The stew even got a thing of spring water!!
But, not for the rich emancipated kid who gutted me in my heart
He wounded my spirit when he said he wouldn’t eat from my kitchen and if I was offended with it, it was my fault ๐
He treats me the way others treated Mary Magdalene ๐
God said if he doesn’t get his shit together he won’t be invited into the heavens ๐
IT’S AMAZING ๐คฉ
My future husband must like soup a lot!!!
๐
I just picked up another bottle of detox and got my large dose in!
The world is plagued by parasites, don’t be ashamed
History repeats itself because they make money from gaslighting our health issues and laugh about us chasing our tails while feeding us nothing but poison then saying, “stupid Americans”
74 drops once daily currently for me
Well that rich emancipated kid can eat his cold ass pizza from that box with his cold ass heart while 60% of the fucking species go extinct over commercial farming and that fucking cheese he’s eating…
I’M OFFENDED
But the belly is full
And there’s maybe one bowl left after simmering the witches stew for hours! ๐คช
But I’ll be getting a rebound session in soon!
I gotta be careful tho
I’m ready for the booty to start returning
I still have muscle to work with all over
But I’ve shed over 18+ pounds in 5 months detoxing
It does take time to rebuild
You can’t expect results overnight
I do not live in the gym
I have a heart and lung injury from the death jab ๐คจ
I can’t expect the potential future husband to be using me as motivation to push him to run a fucking marathon
I get up before sunrise
Make coffee
And try not to leap from a bridge…
It would be nice if I could get out of my masculine role
If the poles could reverse
And he’d be less of an emancipated little bitch…
With that said, he’s gonna be left in the dust
I won’t be parking my mind on him when I’m connected and imprinting on someone else
LOYALTY IS EVERYTHING
It’s all real tho (petite doll)
I’m only getting married once…
Yes please ๐คช
I can’t wait for my little butterfly LED light to arrive from Dolls Kill (and the new bedsheets and bathroom set)
On the way ๐ฅฐ
Healing. Detoxing. Rebounding. Making over. Doing the hard work.
The mess does not reflect the effort
There are more things to organize and let go
Sometimes I’m just happy I’m making it another day
I’ve been asleep for so long…
After 44 years at it alone, I’d be so grateful for just a decade with a partner to not do it alone.
Things don’t have to be like they’ve been
“You’ve been down that road, Neo. You know where it goes…”
Life is in the journey, not the destination
Don’t get stuck…
Need more skirt thangs (size small tho as I’m petite now)
Thank you to everyone who shows me positive support, you are keeping me alive!!! โค๏ธ
There are sometimes people who make fun of me for being poor or try to shame me and Chris Cornell’s mother still follows me and watches my stories and sometimes she comments and she never shames me
People in Europe show skin and it is not a big deal to them
I don’t know why people want to body shame you or shame you for your financial status, it’s not like I fucking chose to jump into a government hiring freeze or government furlough ๐
I’m doing the best I can
My partner will never make me cum if he makes me fear the very ground I walk on ๐
IF A GIRL FEARS YOU, SHE AIN’T GONNA BE SATISFIED IN THE BEDROOM
AND MAKING SURE YOU ARE WILL BECOME RESENTFUL
HE CAME, AND LESS THAN SIXTY SECONDS LATER CAME AGAIN
He said, “that has never happened to me before”
Shame men do me dirty
Made him come twice and he’s never once helped me in my time of need
“He’ll share a bed with you but not his bread…”๏ฟผ
Yeah, and you ain’t invited into the heavens…
It’s cool..
I DO REMEMBER YOUR NAME
AND HOW I MADE YOU CAME
๐
You need to get connected to yourself and probably get control over your sexual addictions if you’ve never came twice or have an issue with it and maybe not all guys can – I don’t know – but maybe I have some magical fucking powers that other people don’t have
I need a husband to cast my spells and practice the art of seduction (vampire sensuality mode) (I’ll suck the life force out of you) ๐คช
Checked out an organic shop today and used that belated birthday donation for some good foods
Also got a fitness session in today and went live on the TikTok during
My heart and body is struggling but enjoys and appreciates keeping up the ability to flee from the devil
I’m skinny as fuck and got mental health issues because apparently being skinny is a crime in society while 60% of the population is obese
The other push is for plastic surgery so the ass can be silicone BIG BRAZILIAN BOOTY
So if you’re not obese or thick you might as well jump off a fucking bridge…
Society is toxic. Be a weight you are happy with. I need some meat on the bone and I’m working on rebuilding muscle mass – but I still got stuff to work with.
It’s hard tho when guys are only interested in the fake plastic female bots who can’t even have a baby
Our enemy has destroyed the family value tribe and tradition from within
I also love this vegan nail polish, it’s so pretty, but the fan who got it for me for my birthday, unfollowed all of my accounts ๐คฉ
The organic goods (nommy)
Apparently this place has a deli and a salad bar and a juice bar so I’ll be back when I actually have five dollars to splurge
I’ve got some vegan dogs I need to grill, so picked up some buns, and a jar of peppers, because I like everything spicy. EVERYTHING
I’ll be making more soup, and got some stuff for tacos, cuz those are my favorite, and I just had a birthday and I don’t buy fake meat anymore (the dogs were a food bank donation)
I’m actually getting ready to try some new food banks that I haven’t been to and I’ll let you know how those go
I do like hitting them up for the canned goods
But I’ve been living on junk food and canned food my entire life and I’m now cooking everything from scratch again like my grandmother taught me – which is my purpose
I got some really good healthy wraps to try with the tacos – and I have chicken breast in the freezer that may go on the grill and in the wrap
So I haven’t quite settled on what I am going to do with the beef or the chicken yet
I still have sweet potatoes and big giant Idaho potatoes to cook up
I ignored the doctor about “no dairy, eat sugar” and got some cheese curds and milk
My body is responding well to the things I am giving it
I don’t need people driving me
I KNOW WHAT I NEED
Also we are electrical before we are chemical
It’s important to connect your feet to the earth and get sunshine on your skin during the good hours
THE SUN IS GOOD FOR YOU NEO
The brain, the heart, ELECTRICAL
My chest has been pounding since I started rebounding and I’m coughing stuff up detoxing
But whatever I’m doing is working better than what the VA had been doing…
I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE BEING MURDERED BY THE HEALTHCARE DEATHCARE SYSTEM
FUCK
I FORGOT TO CALL
๐
Now I gotta wait til next week to apply for help
At least I got a workout sesh in and ventured out into hell to find some organic food
I’m sure I probably could have spent that money at Victoria’s Secret but I’m looking forward to having some tacos and whatever I plan to make with that box of food I just bought so thank you
I had an ex once not worth mentioning that said I talked about food a lot and it was boring
How boring of an individual must you be to find food topic boring
I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT FOOD ๐คฉ
I’m literally obsessed with putting taste on my tongue
THEY CAN’T TASTE A FUCKING THING AND SHOULD DIVE INTO A BLACK HOLE HEAD FIRST
There is still plenty of good ingredients in my fridge right now to make a delicious vegan stew
I’ll be dry humping the kitchen soon ๐คช
I moan when I eat good food ๐
In the military, we’d go out in little groups, order food, then put it all in the middle of the table and share each other’s
I’ll have some of this please
And, we’d pay separate checks with just what we ordered
But sharing was caring
We also lived in Germany and we hit up every restaurant that we could all the time and tried every fucking dish we could
I need real Jasmine tea in my life
I need REAL TEA in my life again
Not little bags poisoned with chemicals on a string (also poisoned)
They don’t want us enjoying anything
Fucking narcissism
I can’t believe summer is nearly over
I don’t have much time left…
Living the life of Edgar Allan Poe 2.0
“No one flies around the sun” (we can’t leave earth)
Neil Degrasse said on his TikTok that what those astronauts are doing up there is not in space and he wants to go to the moon so let’s send him because I don’t think we’ve been and I want to be proven wrong. I know I’m fucking stupid, prove me wrong, humiliate me in front of the entire fucking world please, go for it, do it, prove me wrong
Neil Degrasse also said what the astronauts were doing up there was boring and he didn’t want to do what hundreds of others have done
I bet he doesn’t find food boring tho or the person cooking for him ๐
It may have worked if the VA had treated me in a timely manner – instead of waiting until I was knocking on my death bed and threatening a law suit
Still, progress was made
I’m still gonna have to drop over a bill for a new holistic treatment next paycheck
I can’t sit around and wait for the VA to order this and that and having me chase my tail until I’ve ran out of breath
We’re done with that game
The self-treatment continues with Black Walnut & Wormwood, Apple Cider Vinegar, Turmeric & Ginger, and CandAid.
I’ve got bottles unopened still yet to swallow
I’m taking daily doses, sometimes multiple
That 7 day treatment was pretty taxing on my body, I’ve needed a couple days of rest
Today I’m having coffee with milk
I’m resting on the side of the cliff
I’m gonna be making a white cake with coconut milk, coconut oil, brown eggs, and wild blueberries. Cupcakes & half pound loaf. For the upcoming birthday on Friday.
I’ve never shopped there but I’m already earning points just for daily check-ins.
They have everything there and you have to hunt for the good stuff and bargains (stainless steel, wood, cotton, ect) – but everything from home to body.
I’m looking forward to spending my gift card. Gonna apply my points and any coupons I can to stretch it out!
๐
I really appreciate y’all thinking of me for my birthday.
My parents don’t care of my existence – same life as our dear Edgar Allan Poe. ๐ค
They were apologizing about a low gift card and that’s not a low number.
Not to mention I’m a Leo so I love to bargain hunt. I love finding the good stuff at the run down thrifts.
I love sifting through a yard or garage sale.
I’ll go to the bereavement sales too.
“Oh look, somebody died. Let’s go buy their shit”. And you’re actually helping out the family members move on. Win win. I’ve no shame. God bless the dead. But not the demons.
I’m saving my pennies to buy some land but currently I need to make some pennies and I’ve got something in the pipeline to try and do
(I don’t do sex work ever, please stop thinking my content is XXX)
I’m old-fashioned
I STRIP
And these days all I’ve got is bone to share
STRIPPED TO THE BONE
But yeah, I did order something from Dolls Kill again – for the birthday – they only had one pair left in my size – I’m praying them suckers are mine ๐
Now when you visit the page – there are no sizes available
*sigh*
COMETOMAMA ๏ฟผ
I mean, I do have a shoe fetish but it’s the pair of shoes I’ve been dreaming about and I can wear them with all my lingerie, all my shorts, all my dresses, all my outfits, minus my military uniforms duh
I didn’t lose all of my uniforms when I went homeless, I just left a lot behind, but I don’t know why I decided to rescue an entire suitcase worth of propaganda
But because “she” held onto it, I’ve repacked them in a small moving box
They don’t go to the donation bin yet
I think she wants them near her own garden… I dunno…
I’m trying to help her reach her goal
There are still old boxes to sort through
Old unopened mail
Evidence my parents are shit
Trauma left and right
I told her I’m not here to judge, only to help her organize and sort the mess
Keep what’s to keep
I’m also not only doing a makeover for myself but for my homelife
In small tiny increments
I’ve changed banks again
Everything is getting a makeover
EVERYTHING
I’m still expelling things from my body
I can’t stop detoxing or all my progress will be lost
Now I see how my body responds to no more 7 day treatment doses and a coffee
It’s risky, I know
I’m having die-off symptoms still
IT’S STILL INSIDE ME
I WANT IT ALL GONE
I see now how a cancer patient will give up on treatment
And just dieeee
You have to change your diet and have an incredible amount of willpower to fight it
You have to drink that nasty ass Black Walnut & Wormwood everyday (I still don’t understand the difference between every day and everyday: it was a hard concept for me to get in fifth grade and now I have a brain injury and both the examples just are the same to me, when people give me examples of the differences they are the same to me. I don’t know what to tell you – I’M STUPID)
Show me an easy way to learn them
I really want to get it but I don’t *sigh*
I’m rearranging my room – pushing the bed to the wall
I’m tired of sleeping on wires so at some point I’m buying a normal eggshell without any infusion
Lots of cushy pillows
The body pillow at the wall
My stupid ass is still on bedrest
QUARANTINED
OMG BUT DID I TELL YOU I BOUGHT THE CUTEST SHOES BUT IT WAS THE LAST SIZE AND I BETTER BE THE ONLY CINDERELLA OUT THERE
They had only ONE SIZE LEFT AVAILABLE WHEN I SAW THEM
SIZE 7
The rest were sold out
Then all gone once I bought em
DON’T LET ME DOWN UNI
These are an heirloom at this point and they haven’t even shipped…
The heels were regularly priced at $45.
But I scored them for $9.58 and want to be buried in them
Though they haven’t arrived and I’ve not had a shoe fitting
Look at these deals from Dolls Kill (a favorite store)
I can’t wait to get healthy and wear these grocery shopping though
Gonna get me a husband real quick ๐คช
The pigtails are getting long
I need a bodyguardhusband
And yes I cook but are you going to be a traditional man and pay all the bills? Cuz if I’m all in and you’re half assing it then you won’t have me as a wifey
These men turn wives into slaves and then get pissy when it’s time to treat them for a holiday or a birthday
They want us playing the traditional role and be sexually free and pay half the bills and run all of the household and make all of the decisions and raise the children on our own (with them doing the “fun stuff”)
And I’ve known a lot of women to strip to pay off their college loans and debts and I’m getting ready to do the same but I will not be doing any nasty stuff ๏ฟผ
I don’t even know if it’s nasty, I just know it’s not for me and it doesn’t serve my purpose but sensuality does
I like exploring my feminine side through cosplay and camerawork
I have a certain way I shoot and film
And many men say I don’t need a filter but they don’t mind if I use them
And I took art in school but it’s not my best subject, I’m not an artist that way, I can’t draw for shit. I’m not very good at being a makeup artist so this allows me to be theatrical a bit because I did take drama in school and I love drama and theatrics
And I do have a background in arts and entertainment (including lighting)
I’m not an expert but I have a passion for it
Long post… surprised if you’re still here listening to me ramble on!
Coffee!!! ๐คช
Medium roast and the first caffeine I’ve had in over 7 days! โ๏ธ
So now that you know everything nearly but my bra size (36b)…
I did recently learn that I should stop shopping for large and medium items
Because I’ve shed over 18 pounds of the devil’s toxic poisons from my system
SYMBIOTIC ๐๐
I CAST YOU OUT
So they’ve decided to do construction out here and there’s been these bomb like noises going off for several weeks now and my PTSD has a maximum overload button
I’m gonna get back to packing in a bit
This boat is sinking and when it’s time to jump ship I’ll be boxed and organized with only the minimum amount of things out for a decent living
I’m not taking shit with me that I don’t want to come
Those junk drawers turn into junk rooms and junk boxes
Naw man
She was drowning so I’ve jumped into this timeline during that electrical storm to help her-me
I’m split in two
I exist in multiple timelines
And goddamn I can’t remember your birthday but I love you
But if you keep hurting my daughter I’m gonna cut your dick off and kick it down your fucking throat execution style
Dig?
You’re the only one that can make us regret doing things and I know it’s you because my chest is swelling up with sickness
(I’ve never sent a man pictures of me self-gratifying – I don’t do porn, I don’t even own a toy. I’m not desensitized. PLAYING THE ANGEL)
Coffee is getting cold
And now I don’t know what’s making me tremble, the caffeine or my fucking anger
I pay $50 extra a month on top of my rent for some old run down washer and dryer – for the privilege – to be able to wash and dry in my own apartment – but that isn’t included in the monthly costs – and I’m surprised they don’t charge us extra for plumbing
That’s $600 annually for my clothes to get ripped and shredded apart by the oldest fucking machines ever built
They don’t update any of our appliances with the annual rent gouging increases
I WANT MY OWN WASHER AND DRYER
I WILL PUT A BIG STAINLESS STEEL BUCKET IN THERE AND GO BY HAND
COME GET YER WASHER N DRYER
I’m gonna stink for awhile
Save my $50 per month
They make mini washing machines now
The goal is to find a free one or the other or even a cheap model
But one that is MINE
That $600 a year could be paying for land where I could be hand drying my clothes out in the sun with the trees and a line and some clothes pins which is free to dry
I told my enemy what I was up to and he said it was “smart”
I need some land out here in Florida
I’ve been disassociating for way longer than I realize but I’m organizing my entire life but my bathroom is going to get a makeover just like my entire life is getting a makeover
Yesterday I found a suitcase full of magazines in pristine condition and I couldn’t understand why I left behind three bags worth of fucking military uniforms but managed to hang onto some fucking magazines
Not magazines to put bullets in
Propaganda
And I couldn’t figure out my priorities but then I had to remember my new motto: I don’t know how we got here but let’s just fix it
I’ve re-packed those magazines in a small new packing box.
I have no idea why I held onto the collections but I reckon I’ll hang onto them for a tiny bit longer
It’s sort of the; I don’t know what to do with pile
I have also found a lot of evidence of an ex groveling to a mistress and all the trauma that was involved
I understand why I jumped into this timeline to fix myself
My entire life is getting a makeover
I’m currently detoxing and on an extreme treatment through the VA – I think I’ll need more than one round but it’s certainly working
Yesterday I’m certain I coughed out an alien looking creature
When I have the extra dough I will be spoiling myself from there
You earn points, free gifts, they have stuff for a dollar that’s better than Walmart or the Dollar Tree
I’ve signed up for the coupons but haven’t been able to shop yet!
I’m ready tho!
They seem to have some nice stuff for the home and body
Wouldn’t mind a bedroom sheet set – great prices
Also am looking at the shower curtains and cute rugs
๐ค
I just want to improve my prison sentence on earth without it costing me an arm and a leg for mindfulness or cute panties without holes or blood stains (TMI – full moon – ovulating)
She started me on a course of treatment and ordered me testing and visits to the specialist
She said, “you need to eat some sugar. I don’t want you cutting out all sugar”
And to cut back on dairy…
You will lose weight detoxing
That is not my end goal
I will work on rebuilding muscle mass and thangs when I can
I’m working on getting my 2nd bedroom redone – to utilize my yoga system the VA donated to me and start rebounding and booty gains on my Gold’s Gym fitness rebounder.
Health issues first
I’m beating a cancer like parasite eating me alive
It likes sugar
I WAS STARVING IT
Try having a sugar addiction on top of the symbiotic thing inside of you that also has a sugar addiction and can control your hormones and make you crave it
Go for it
I’ll wait…
So the exorcism continues
“Jesus Christ, that thing was real”
Yes Neo. You need to debug.
Trinity out…
P.S. making homemade soup soon – with red cabbage, rainbow carrots, potatoes, onions, celery and all
I started this new 7 day course treatment today
On top of my detoxing routine
But now I’m allowed some sugar and no dairy
*sigh*
No coffees with cream! ๐
I’m back home now and I want to go through my bunny box! ๐คฉ
We work hard to make them first for them to throw us scraps Well I don’t give a fuck anymore I deleted the app
Thank you for beating me so that I could enjoy more of my free time and not support this fucking insanity
My PS4 is packed up – and ready to be sold at the pawn
My TV is never turned on
IDGAF
*locked and loaded*
*opens door*
COME GET ME YOU FUCKS ๐๐
Places to find me offline: the firing range ๐
Places to find me online in the future: OnlyFans (potentially – but not for porn – but definitely nude modeling cuz self-love & cosplay & photography bring me purpose – and I enjoy producing my own content for my blog & not plagiarizing from upsplash or whatever those sites are
THERE’S A GOOD CHANCE I MIGHT DIE ON THE STREET LIKE EDGAR ALLAN POE
But then someone bought me 2 vegan nail polishes from my Amazon wishlist – and that also brings me purpose
There were only 10 left in that color when it was added to my list & now there are only 9
And it’s part of my favorite color of the rainbow
And it is a birthday gift
I’m grateful for the 2 new vegan nail polishes – they don’t have any of the bad poison or chemicals in them – and having pretty nails will boost my self-esteem
Painting my nails is part of my mindfulness practices and my therapist agrees with it
Color is a mood changer – water too – or just introducing a calming element when you are about to take out the entire city
I could hunt the establishment down and go rogue but I’m waiting on my pretty nail polish to arrive instead ๐คฉ
Thank you of thinking of me for my birthday
It’s been several years since I’ve got to celebrate my birthday since I’ve been fighting this illness and basically since the pandemic started
I’m lucky to be alive and I’m still in recovery
I’m still quarantined and can’t have no fun
Basically photography is the only thing I can focus on and I want to focus on so I’m thinking of getting on onlyfans in the potential future
I need an adult account – not for tacky tasteless content
But to be an adult and post what I want (no porn or self gratification – I want to focus on sensual content and being a female – I like cosplay even tho I’m not very good with the makeup aspects of it)
I was on it once before and made it to the top 20s just doing nude modeling & I was going up against giant creators
I want to focus on just the content I put out – and my tribe I draw – if any. I don’t want to compare my account to other accounts and what they are doing and what I should be doing and how much I should post and how much I should charge and this that and the other. I just wanna focus on putting out good content.
And y’all, supplies aren’t cheap. My time isn’t cheap. But I want my content to be affordable and not compared to what others are doing. They have teams!!!!
OnlyFans keep 20% of profits, on top of tips. The IRS take another 20%. They’re raised the cost of everything cuz they don’t want us earning a penny.
I want to earn a penny and whatever pennies I do earn, I want to put towards my goal of buying land.
So I’m working very hard to get better mentally, spiritually, and physically enough to put out monthly content.
I’m not there yet.
I also have a new care team at the VA.
They basically just keep having me chase my tail until I die but I’m self treating behind the scenes.
The holistic treatments I’m starting next month are over $100 for 2 bottles.
I’m not out here blowing my money on pointless crap.
And I work hard to put out amazing content that keeps TikTok number one and they make a shit ton of money and keep 80% of any of the earnings I get over there but then will just banish me from the fucking platform.
I love being a slave just to earn some scraps and a beating just to be tossed out in the wilderness alone – and they get to keep all my fans and continue on the party like I never existed at all ๐คฉ
Woke up to an ass beating by the establishment of course
My truth doesn’t fit the narrative
But Jesus was crucified and now it’s my turn again
*sigh*
I knew turning commenting on would get me in the doghouse
Went to bed with it blowing up and woke up to the stoning zone cuz the establishment are insane and I barely want to participate in the madhouse anymore anywhere
I’D RATHER SIT ALONE IN SILENCE AND DAYDREAM THAN SUPPORT THE DEVIL, HIS MINIONS, OR NARCISSISM
I’m not mad about it but some of the comments were disturbing ๐ณ
I had a few tell me they loved me
It was an experience and it brought me in loads of followers – whom could be removed from me at any moment – laughs insanely – it’s unethical when we make these companies rich
TikTok is an Asian communist military app
I’m not its friend
But those in charge don’t even like their own people because it’s all about slave labor over there
I really want to grow my own food and become self-reliant
My birthday is this month
I’m trying to make it to 44 and not leap from a bridge or have a heart attack before then
They want us living in fear
I’m not gonna do it
I’m sleeping with my windows open and if you get anywhere near me I will fucking cut your head off
I will gut you before my eyes are open
FOOK OFF WITH YOUR DEMONIC HATE
We need to start protesting these apps
They’re unethical for consumption
And you shouldn’t be letting your children anywhere near shopping centers that sell adult toys out in the open in front of children and the VA now have Do Ask Do Tell signs everywhere – with LGBT trained coordinators ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ
We need to go back to keeping your sexuality undisclosed
It’s a fucking cult
DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN AT THE MALL UNLESS YOU WANT THEM EXPOSED TO ADULT SEX CONTENT OR POTENTIAL SHOOTERS
RED FLAGS RED FLAGS RED FLAGS
SUBLIMINAL MESSAGING IS USED BY THE ESTABLISHMENT TO CREATE HARM
THEY PUT IT IN MUSIC AND FILM AND I’M CERTAIN TOXIC PORN
If the establishment don’t lose their grip, everything that they worked hard for to get to the top is going to crumble into nothingness
They think they have the mountains and the caves but they’re not safe there
We’re hunting them down
I’ve trained for this all my life and please let me go Vladimir Tepes on them
“We’re sickened by…” as the cops sit around and do nothing
“It’s a federal matter” as our country and policies get destroyed by propaganda and immigration
More civilians are aware that cops are USELESS to protect the citizens
And just like that the 2A was used to stop a gunman at the Mall who was targeting and killing innocent women
A 22 year old male STOPPED the gunman
And now more people will start playing hero of the day
I suspect subliminal messaging is being used – on those who watch porn and horror or listen to certain music
“You will buy a gun”
Yes you will
And you will go to the range and you will start practicing to learn to defend yourself and those around you ๐๐
And maybe you’ll save a 12 year old girl from being shot at the mall
SHE SURVIVED
(Another shooting happened in Indiana on Thursday. Just stay home or get you a weapon and a carry permit)
If you’re a soldier with a DD 214 you won’t need to go to any kind of civilian classes because you’ve already been trained by the fucking militia so you’ll just need to worry about your carry permit and whatever else your state requires
But you get to pass Go, you’ll still need to pay some dollars for the permit ๐คช
We wasn’t worried about immigration when we were playing Monopoly were we
Hollywood is pumping you full of mental trash – that causes mood and behavioral changes – as well as brain damage
I’m glad you and your porn star can talk about the latest Batman movie though but you won’t catch me in the fucking theaters
FUCK YOU and the Minions too ๐
And I hate Google. I’m not sharing any articles because many of them are forcing you to pay for their junk now – which is mostly gaslighting and propaganda – so you can just Google a different article until you find one that is free information. Fuck subscribing to this insanity. You’re literally funding it. I SAID LITERAL. DEAL WITH IT
I gave you keys to my trust and you broke it when I was vulnerable Barging into the night a maniac drunken on furor All around you the ground dishonor You’ve been AWOL in spirit and now demand rescue Your only form of payment sabotage
You’ve pissed all over my door And even now the stench is more than I can handle Full throttle now as I drop my stern There are bodies collecting under the hull
My regrets are tiny fractions compared to your sin’s shadow And every moment now it is growing taller: see what you’ve done Your bridge is so far burned that galaxies are splitting dimensions
I sat in the dark void dying How the ocean crushes you the deeper you fall God was the only one who heard my crying Even now, my heart beats differently
He makes me feel 1000 years old ๐๐
You should have left it fantasy. Or, at the very least, not reduced me to a working free whore.
I don’t need anyone or anything devaluing my life.
Therapy is a lot work, you’re a train wreck.
You act a child as if a prize.
You’re gonna get blocked.
Even better, a restraining order.
I had a little fun with you behind closed doors, attempting to role-play, but your intentions are clearly sinister.
I never asked you to divulge who you were, or personal details of your life, mixing fantasy with real life.
And having the audacity to treat me like trash during the worst time of my life. ๐
Yeah cool but we’re done.
You can fuck off now.
I want to work on building healthy relationships with normal human beings.
I am in intense therapy to change my bad habits and thoughts.
I don’t owe you a fucking thing.
I don’t have to tell you to never call me again because I’ll change my fucking number and address.
I’ll never make the mistake of having fun behind closed doors either.
I am not a sex worker nor have I ever taken or sent photos of me performing sex acts.
I have done nude modeling in the past, I’m not ashamed.
I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TACKY WITH ANYONE.
You’re a disgusting individual.
Stay away from me.
I don’t need you coming into my inbox treating me like a sex object and I know you keep all your favorite porn stars number one – so get the fuck out of my life
I’m a GOOD GIRL
I’ve just fallen on some hard times and unfortunately bad people take advantage of that.
You’re two different people.
I wouldn’t even give a fuck if you knew how to treat me with an ounce of dignity and respect but you don’t even know how to treat yourself that way.
I don’t wish any harm of you.
I’m just not gonna waste my time praying you will get better.
You’re sinking my ship.
Don’t make me cut you off.
You’re crossing lines you cannot return from.
I CANNOT RETURN FROM THE DEPTHS YOU ARE PUSHING ME.
Stop telling people to be happy no matter what happens to them
I GUESS I SHOULD BE HAPPY MY FATHER SEXUALLY MOLESTED ME
MAYBE I SHOULD INVITE HIM OVER FOR DINNER
MAYBE WE CAN START FUCKING AGAIN
๐
CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT WORTHY OF BEING HAPPY IN
OTHERWISE SHUT THE FUCK UP
THERE IS NO FORGIVENESS FOR THEIR SINS
GOD WOULD EAT DINNER WITH ME
GOD GIVES ME LIFE
YOU DON’T DECIDE MY WORTH
YOU DON’T GET TO DESTROY ME OVER AND OVER AND THEN CONDITION ME TO BE HAPPY ABOUT IT
GET OUT OF YOUR BUBBLE
I WILL DESTROY IT
POP POP
Like a needle in a haystack – I won’t look back
Give me a game of dominoes and shot of cognac
WHERE MY BROTHERS AT?
I just need to get back to soldiering and like go on a ruck march but I can barely fucking get my house together and I’m not dropping dead from this jab
No fuck that – I’m filing for state disability and these motherfuckers are gonna pay me for killing me
I HAVE A PERMANENT HEART CONDITION AND CURRENTLY BROKEN IMMUNE SYSTEM AND THESE MOTHERFUCKERS CATCHING COVID LEFT AND RIGHT
As far as I’m concerned I’m age 5 and everyone has fucking cooties and I’m gonna wash my hands and I’m going to social distance – which means you need to keep at least 6 feet from me and I’m going to fucking wear my mask
I’ve yelled at cops for getting too close to me ๐
I DON’T FUCK ABOUT ๐คจ
I nearly blew out my left lung and my heart swelled up 3 sizes
In fact, one chamber closed off and another enlarged
I CAN BARELY TOLERATE THE FLORIDA WEATHER โ๐โ
I’m HOUSEBOUND
DEAL WITH IT
QUARANTINED
For the foreseeable future
Until my health improves
Which it has been because I am able to venture out to the park and the beach occasionally or even to the grocery store which is normally hard to do and Walmart just gave me an extra two free weeks for the Walmart + membership trial so I’ll be using it one more time for the free shipping and delivery. It’s better than attempting to shop myself. I’ve had to cut shopping short several times due to my health. Same with trips to the park or beach.
LIFE ISN’T ROSES OUT HERE, IT’S THORNS
Actually, there may be a bloom or two and that’s why I’m still going
If it looks like a dragon fruit though I’ll starve because there’s some fruit I just won’t touch, same with animals
Yeah no…
Hungry but pass
The wildlife are getting a treat – they deserve to eat more than me
And he fucks children and gets pissed at me for eating chicken ๐
Typical hypocritical super Christian
Personally, they should be put down like an animal that has a taste for human blood๐ฉธ
Eye for an eye
LET ME EXACT MY JUSTICE ON MY PARENTS AND THEN MAYBE I WILL BE HAPPY
JUST KNOWING THEY AREN’T BREATHING THE SAME AIR AS ME, FOR STARTERS
CLOSURE FOR HEALING
THERE’S A CONCEPT
MAYBE STOP HURTING YOUR CHILDREN SO WE CAN BE HEALTHY HAPPY ADULTS
Instead, FOREVER THERAPY!!!! YAY!!! ๐ฅณ
With the ever stopping rental increases, the noise pollution, the forming cults left and right, my never ending awakening into hell, the regret of being upside down in a cave, letting others convince me it’s the path I should take, DYING ALONE ALIVE AND YOUNG
Not knowing when the end is coming but just knowing currently my body is not in anaphylactic shock
EVERY BREATH HURTS AND I’M FIGHTING FOR A LIFE THAT WANTS TO JUMP FROM A BRIDGE
That’s all…
I’m okay ๐
I’m dying where I want – if I can just sit still
THE LIONS DEN
Also, I’m in therapy and detoxing because I want to be a valuable human
So far it’s minimal
YES THERE ARE MILESTONES
It’s the falls off the cliffs and getting stuck in caves proving to be the biggest dangers โ ๏ธ
Dying on the street from madness (there)
Or worse, an immigrant or narcissist who doesn’t understand boundaries invading your space
I BITE
KEEP BACK โ ๏ธ
I’m not just gonna stand out in the open while you gut me and pistol fuck me in the face
LMAO – there’s at least one cop who is sick of the bullshit. This is the hope I’m living for. The Federal government is out of control, “nothing we can do” – unless you are this Sheriff๏ฟผ who is driving illegal immigrants back to the border.
It’s the Wild Wild West ๐
There’s clearly a division forming between immigration/globalism and real Americans
We all woke up in Trinity mode ready to defend and uphold the 2nd Amendment
It’s only hell because we’ve been in a 6000-year-old worldwide prison system based on that BOOK
And that same establishment continues to tweak its policies until you’ll believe they are the creator of you, with your OOOH AHHHH Fitbits
They use gaslighting, lovebombing, triangulation to control
With politicians, actors, influencers, teachers, preachers, cops
It’s disgusting
“But if you work hard you can own a home”
That was the Great Lie the Boomer generation sold
Then Ghosted an entire fucking generation after we’ve been the most dedicated, the most hard working, and ORIGINAL
And we watch all the younger generation’s steal our fucking content and give us no credit – and the Boomers reward them with free housing or financial assistance
The rest of us are out here winging it, living on the fucking streets, in our campers, eating one meal a day, so we can buy some fucking land before it’s too late…
Starting communities
I don’t want 5G or anywhere around it
It’s a cancer
Fuck this New Age digital world, I don’t want any part of this future
Where I don’t even have freedom of speech or my art protected
These men preyed and preyed and preyed sexually upon my best friend who died by suicide and she was 13
I’ll never recover
Her birthday was May 1
She died April 7, 1993 (just shy of her 14th birthday)
357 magnum to the head
Lost the last letter she wrote me
But there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her and if I had pictures of her I wouldn’t have them stored away like everybody else who wants to forget her
And Miley Ray Cyrus sounds just like her but Miley Ray Cyrus wasn’t born but we did get to meet her dad together Billy Ray Cyrus so that was pretty fun
Mems.
There’s a picture of them floating around somewhere, not online or anything
We met lots of bands together
Pre cellphone days
I can barely even prove that she existed, there’s just this hole in my gut
They preyed upon me too baby girl
This world is too much
You were so brave
Braver than me
I wish I had your courage to die
The Judge knew I was suicidal in 2018 and wouldn’t even talk to me until I took a few breaths
She said in front of the entire courtroom that I looked like I was about to jump from the bridge behind me
Also, I had a weapon upon arrival that I didn’t know – when trying to enter – and the cop repeated the question 3 times – I laughed – “wait, do I have one?” and I did. A little mini nail file thingy that I got in the mail by the Wounded Warrior project lol
So before I could even go into the courtroom I had to walk my little mini knife all the way back to my vehicle… and then return
And by the time I made it to the Judge – good lord the humility of being sued
By the end of the session we had the entire courtroom laughing, me and the Judge..
She directly explained to me how they could get my money tho… which is untouchable
Like if I wanted to buy a plane ticket right now and just fly somewhere, the government could be like oh no oh no you you fucking owe us some money come here bitch we’re going to take your plane flight
But it must suck for the men who want to prey on me and take my money because I can get married and divorced and they can’t touch it
You can’t touch what I earned but they can keep raising my rent and the food costs… FYI
The suicide rate continues to increase among military and Veterans
Somebody recently sent me 20 bucks and I bought me some medicinals ๐
I know this isn’t my best work, I just woke up crying and I decided to put it into a poem so I just freestyle got this off my chest…
I’m okay ๐๐
Saddest girl in the world (squared)
Side note: I’m making right with my creditors and it was only for a little bit. But they can’t directly dock my check.
And thus, after a few generations, it’ll be easier to accept that we’re virtual reality and turning us into a walking computer
Because we create our own reality
And you’ll be able to trace technology back to the Asian AI Gods, everyone will worship AI and be further separated from our true creator
A man does not bleed from his legs for a week every month in agony and emotional distress
He does not carry life inside his womb
Nor does he feed another life from the milk created from his breasts
Man has turned everything artificial in an attempt to play the almighty God creator
He’s insane
Wants what we’ve got
When asking a man why he’d like to experience being a woman, the answer is always “multiple orgasms” – it’s disgusting
I’m having difficulty living in any of these realities you force upon me
Men blame women for everything and all species are going extinct
In the name of AI
All hail AI
But so many are incapable of a personality or a soul
So they shame the free thinkers
They call sexually free women whores
Everything has been conditioning so that science can play morals and ethics and come along and say “we’ve got the cure” but they caused the disease ๐ฆ
White people and Native American are being systematically terminated – and they use Black people against us – propaganda – when slavery started in Africa
The Bible is bad – the one that is mass circulated and taught – the one that has been re-written many times
When I was young, “how can they change time”
“How do they know the sun is that far”
Turns out everything has been a lie
And any time I got in the sun with “sun block” I burned – with gaslighting – never do put two and two together
I do not burn in the sun without sunblock ๏ฟผ
The sun is good for you ๐
I also hated eating sugary products for breakfast, I would tell my mother that it made me sick
They also forced me to eat meat when I didn’t want to
“Chicken or beef” they’d say
“But I want the grilled cheese it’s cheaper too”
“Chicken or beef” they’d say
Fucking dictators
I hate this life
There’s no way I chose my family before coming here, there’s no way
It’s been torture
This life
And he condemns me for my food choices when he eats from a cardboard box
It’s unhealthy and those cows are definitely not being treated well – those junk food establishments – they have zero ethics and ensure the animals suffer
But he sits there eating from his box casting his stones
He thinks he’s reached Christ consciousness and he doesn’t even understand compassion for a dying person who should have the obligation and the right to choose how they want to fucking eat ๐
Also, notice how rich people always want things for cheap or free
Free rides, free rent, whatever they can get for free
As long as they don’t have to spend their money
But they will always act like it’s the end of the fucking world anytime something comes up for them and it always turns out that their options are really fucking good
The entire world is lost and I have to just watch the Titanic sink while people are playing music and rescuing gems on boats that could hold and save more people but ewww I would not share a table with her
“But weren’t you just fucking her”
Because men have been conditioned by the porn that they watch day in and day out over decades that women are sex objects only
We’re not entitled to an opinion
I have to bleed every fucking month, in pain, it’s fucking painful
Growing a baby inside you is painful
Birthing a baby is excruciating
Breastfeeding is challenging, painful for the first couple weeks, and not easy. The percentage of women who breastfeed at all is low – and now the establishment are saying that breastfeeding is unnatural and causes mistrust within the government
GET IN THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA
I’m sorry you hate your life and blame us for your existence but this abuse has to stop!!!!
Our society can heal if we turn off the television!!!!!
Stop listening to the bullshite!!!
Stop putting money on the tray at church!!!
Get to know your local community!
Grow and share food!!!!
We can thrive!!!!
I’m sorry you’ll be bored doing stuff we were born to do, get over it!!!!!
I’m sorry you’re not as handsome or charming to find love as others. It’s bullshite! Learn to be a human instead of a monster!!!!
They’re just jealous of things they can’t have so wanna keep others from having it!
Narcissism is a plague!!!!
I can’t stand the now we live in! I can’t stand the future!!
I’m trying not to die by my own hand in this hell!
You’re all insane!!!
You don’t live in reality
I don’t care about the double slit experiment! It’s conditioning for cloning – for human hybrid AI
You’re not a computer!
It will damage your real CPU!
Please wake up now!!!!! My soul is screaming from the ether!!!!!! I produce eggs!!!! I’m alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My God does not come from the Middle East!!!!!
I’m sick of hearing about China this and China that!!!!
Let us all live in peace!!
Black, brown, and white bear’s exists! Deal with it!!! We’re all special!!!! Your powers are being suppressed!!!
I don’t even know how to be a hunter/gatherer! I’d probably eat the wrong herb!
None of us are living up to our potential
Living through a monitor!!!!!
They’re making us sick intentionally!
Psychopaths
One bad apple spoils the bunch
It’s lazy parenting if you let your child watch toxic TV and play video games constantly
I wouldn’t even want to teach my child what they are teaching them in school
They were teaching my child how to twerk on stage when she was 8
I pulled her from the lesson and the show, I was appalled
It’s just gonna keep going on, we aren’t punishing or removing the bad seeds, we’re birthing them
The criminals are on top
And quite frankly I’m tired of fighting, I’m ready to go live in the woods, I don’t need a government or a piece of paper to tell me that I’m allowed to grow food or to build shelter, or to use solar
I’m sick of the narcissism and dictatorship
I’m still detoxing and putting up the good fight
I’m on a new mission to learn how to control my crying and angry spells
Like, I need to go into automatic shut down mode if/when triggered
I am organic and real
I am capable of creating life
Many women have been programmed to remove their organs, their breasts, their ovaries, or popping birth control or having their tubes tied – which all causes premature aging – as well as all the “anti aging” products they buy – it ages you
The FDA has been compromised, the CDC, the WhiteHouse, we have more than a mole
I knew English before I was born, I understood language and energy and mood
I could hear my mom, my sister, my father scheming
I was depressed before I was born
I HATED BEING IN MY MOTHERS WOMB
She was a terrible mother and my father a monster
They’re both monsters, I came from monsters
Civilized monsters under the guise of Christianity
Image is so important to these monsters
But they don’t have a soul inside, they’re possessed by the Devil and they choose to be who they are
Half the amenities where I live do not work but the rent continues to go up and they continue to list these amenities as a incentive to rent/live here
“They won’t do anything about it”, the establishment’s motto
By law, we should be able to withhold our rent until they fix these things
I know I’m not the only one experiencing this where I live
It’s listed, the rent goes up, nothing gets fixed. The front gate, the exercise equipment, the carwash, the recycling, still listed, rent goes up, not working (and I’ve been here 5 years now and it’s still not fixed)
The establishment are greedy and lazy
I don’t want to fund their bullshite anymore
We need to boycott all the major big names and corporations
Celebrities and influencers are not worth worshiping
I’m going to continue fixing my credit so that I can play the game and buy a house if I don’t die before then (I’m begging and praying to God daily for protection vibes)
Man has made life so very depressing and agonizing that an invisible entity is better than he
DO BETTER
I’m gonna be spending most of my time riding, instead of utilizing this crappy gym. The piece of equipment I wanted to use for booty gains, is still non-working after 5 years. I’m not ready to leg, arm, and bench press.
I want a cute, feminine figure. I don’t want big bulky looking man’s body like Britney Spears. She’s training with her dude and doing what he does and everything she wears is a selling point for the gays!! The gays!!!! What about me!!!! See me!!! It’s okay to be gay!!!! We love women!!!! *snickers evilly and stuffs tampons up ass for pleasure*
Religion and LGBT is a cult! Politics and Hollywood too! I said it, fight me!!!
P.S. China censors their people from the US. They’d be appalled if they knew… but maybe they do.
My American Chinese doctor was very interested in my detox, he wrote down specifically the Black Walnut Wormwood. The only thing he wrote down during the session. THE ONLY THING
He’s also sending a team out to me since I can’t get to them
He did not tell me to stop or reduce my detox
That’s an ancient remedy right there
I gotta stock up before the establishment poison it or change the formula
You’re right, I’m terrible with secrets and I can’t blame PayPal this time (tho we should sue)
Byeeeeee
P.S.S. I wholeheartedly believe I jumped into this timeline during that crazy storm, it struck my vehicle and one of the hands of lightning touched my elbow
I FELT THE BURN FOR DAYS – there was no physical burn
I FELT IT
GOD TOUCHED ME
HE WAS LIKE HEYYYYYY
I spent days researching electrical discharges
It’s pure energy
IT WAS SO LOUD!!!! AND BRIGHT!!!
They’re gonna have y’all believing you can go through portals at CERN. In given time, they’ll sacrifice you to the singularity and upload you into the METAVERSE.
I’m beyond sick at society and “entertainment”. They’re turning the Matrix into reality in the name of science!
Am I the last remaining human that is still 1000% human (no artificial degrades)?
Because the people who keep going on about my age have either gone bald or are gray.
How old are you?
I’m fucking ancient that’s how old!
And I’m trying to get my shit together so that I could potentially find a partner who is healthy enough to bring a baby into the world or build a home together because I’m still capable of doing both!
Capable lol
I’m on bedrest
My vehicle is broke down
I’m moments away from leaping from a bridge
But there’s no grey….
Let my non-existent tomb read, “no grey”!
Not everyone lives to be old.
But y’all are prematurely aging yourself.
And everything that you are doing to try to stop the aging process is aging you faster.
It’s just an FYI
And I still love folks bald or grey
But what I don’t like, is the constant phishing for private, personal data.
Well how old are you, where do you live, are you single?
Communicating is exhausting.
And they go straight for phishing right away.
As a Soldier (my credentials do not expire), this is a big red flag.
Only a few more conversations between you and your followers and they have a profile of you.
I love everybody but immigration has been a Trojan horse.
Petite. But armed and dangerous according to the establishment.
Yep.
I’m still detoxing and in and out of hopelessness.
But this cancer has been eating me alive for several years and back over the XMAS holiday I was told I no longer had a year left to live.
And so here I am about 6 months or so into that realization.
My Primary Care doctor (from Asia and whom I cannot change/am stuck with) has said to “ride it out”
Oh I plan to, right into the courthouse where I have the license removed from everyone in the VA misdiagnosing/mistreating me
It’s not a pipe dream
Nor the visions I have of taking them all out, family included, no remorse.
Fuck you.
I’m going to burn it all down, even if it takes me 200 years, but I’m not doing earth again.
Also, I’ve legit been dying, and seemingly misbehaving, so can you cut me some slack.
I have absolutely no idea how to be a human, I just know I’m doing it wrong.
I’ve done everything wrong but I feel like I have a chance (maybe) if I can get my health together, to try again.
A new deck of cards, unopened.
I just need a partner who isn’t the Devil.
My blood sister died age 45. This was in January.
My birthday is in August. I won’t receive a birthday card, I never do.
I don’t exist and stop asking my age.
I don’t identify with my age whatsoever.
And I really want to know if there are any other 43 year old – nearly 44 year old women – who are still ovulating and do not have any gray hair?
I never ate birth control or ripped out my titties. No botox. Just a plain Jane.
I had no idea it was conditioning for human hybrid/AI/META/advertising/consumption.
This isn’t the future I fought for.
I’ve laid down my M16, and I’m looking to buy land and start a commune.
I’m not going to be dying forever, one day I’m actually going to be dead.
You can be buried on your land in Florida.
I have goals.
Buy land. Die.
Or, pop a tent and get pregnant under the moon.
Treehouses and crying over the dying garden.
Babe, the asparagus are dying!!!
Him: it’s time to pick them
Yes I’m obviously the drama, I have a lot of superpowers I don’t know how to contain or operate.
Humanity did not come with a guide.
I don’t even have a handbook for the “recently nearly deceased”.
I think I’m actually stuck in purgatory.
I told my therapist I don’t trust the doctors with my data anymore, I mean can you imagine the amount of paranoia I am mounting…
I’m ready to sell my phone and TV.
And now I’m trapped in a WordPress plan (I do plan to look into the other hosting, I have just been down in a pit and can only do things slowly).
I don’t have anyone to come in and organize my poetry the way Jim Morrison had.
I don’t have a lover. I don’t even have any weed.
I might turn into the Incredible Hulk over the next couple weeks.
Anything goes.
But what I want more before I die is for the people that I do care about or who I have offended to forgive me of my actions so that I can at least offend them again in the future. ๐คช
Still detoxing. My fuel tank light is on. I’m out of water. I’m on a 5 day undetox and then I’m starting bottle 2 & hitting it hard with the largest doses 3 times a day.
Broke in more ways than one. So God gave me a free year of shopping.
Which is cool, because I’m on a waitlist to get moved, even though I can’t afford any boxes currently.
Because believe it or not, them divulging that information to me, put a lot of complicated shit on my back
They literally gave away your secret and then I attacked you because I’m not screwed on right
I don’t need you to make me suffer anymore than I already do for my “crazy fucking behavior”
The establishment are driving us insane
Poor Edgar couldn’t stomach it
But alas, he didn’t die in vain
Nor John Jones…
Jacob on the other hand… that whirlpool is keeping me up at night
All the times I was like “I think I can swim across the river” and people were like “no I don’t think you can” and I’m like “yeah I think I can” and I’m out there swimming in the fucking river and jumping off into quarries or swinging off of fucking ropes into the abyss
“Make sure you let go, you gotta let go”
Or like that one time my boyfriend pushed me off of a 50 foot bridge, not to mention all the other times I jumped off a 50 foot bridge into the water and forgot what I was doing while I was falling…
I’ve stood in front of a train blowing its horn and blinding me
I’ve ran from the cops into a field of barbwire
But I’ve been suicidal since before I was born
Must be tired of being recycled and leveling up while the world crumbles and burns
I dunno
I have never denied being suicidal and they’ve locked me up in padded rooms and shot me up with Thorazine
It was a playbook for insanity, me in there singing, “I wanna go home / take off this uniform and leave the show”
I escaped the asylum on 3 occasions during a month long stay
I was 15
They changed their rules every time
Still, I left the leader…
I call the shots
You should see all the training the military and the department of defense gave me and I was like a sponge soaking it up and they loved sending me to classes
Super Soldier
Still can’t add/subtract/divide
Math is the enemy
It has made me cry cry cry
On numerous occasions
Stop judging somebody’s worth on how clever they can put a sentence together or multiply
Granted, I wish I had certain skill sets
But God made me free
But I was born inside a prison
I have always questioned authority
I have always questioned the narrative so many blindly follow
“Well that’s a stupid tradition”, I’d say
You may act like I’m untrustworthy and terrible with secrets but I’m not actually the one giving them away
And Uncle Sam trusts me with his secrets
I have never told any
In fact, when all the married soldiers were going out for a “boys night out” and I couldn’t come because they were “going to cheat”, I didn’t tell the wives whom I knew and shared meals with
Stop making up excuses not to talk to me
I know the real reason anyway
You’d have to change
You have to want that for yourself and I don’t want to be in a relationship with anybody, I was just trying to be on civil terms again
But I guess we are in fifth grade and it’s one of those things “well if you’re friends with so-in-so, so I’m not gonna be friends with you…
Passes letter
Would you like to not be mad at each other anymore? (check the box) (please return)
Yes ๐ฒ
No ๐ฒ
Maybe ๐ฒ
(Turn over) ๐
Pssst I’m good with secrets
Made traditional beans n toast for dinner, with a little sweet onion and pickled beets on the side (and water)
Letting it thicken…
TikTok now has given me the ability to do stories!
I know lots of secrets and have some of my own…
I’m still coming to terms with my sister dying
I had a dream and she visited me
I don’t want to fall on regret because I couldn’t fix her thus our relationship would have always been toxic
She never got over the fact that our daddy was fucking her when she was four years old
She was extremely cruel to me my entire life
My mother too…
Anyhoo
We are all circling around that same whirlpool currently though
I really want to get control of my emotions and stop acting a horses ass every time I feel triggered
For starters
In hindsight, I know I was crying out
It’s a cry for help
And then I got so suicidal and in my head I felt like the only person I wanted to connect with before I died was you…
The fact that, even in my final moments my signal is always directed at you
I’m sorry
I don’t know why I’ve given you that burden
And I know you’re distracted by a 100 million girls but I love you
All the yous
Mostly
You can’t change your stars
But we could probably sue PayPal
I don’t know all the lingo, I’m not actually that smart. I’m smart enough to get you to the place that you need to be thinking about the things that you need to think about, that’s as far as I can take you, then you’ve got to kind of drive the rest of the way and kind of help me over the mountain top but also allow me to be myself when I can
I’m a Leo (fire sign) so rarely ask for help but people are quick to kick you when you do
I don’t know why I act so possessive over you, I struggle with that but then “your mind makes it real” and you know I go places…
I don’t stop going places with you
I loved you before I knew…
I’m struggling with my health and it’s up and down and there are things that I just need to get off of my chest, I need the record to be set straight
I want to sue PayPal for breach of contract and breach of trust and for giving me the list of anonymous donors in a fucking invoice several months later
That didn’t help the stalking loving you
I had other anonymous donors and I didn’t stalk them, it was just your name really stood out you know
What a shit thing for them to do and what a shit thing for me to do
I don’t blame you for hating me
For causing destruction in your life
Maybe I don’t want you to burn
My sister won’t even face me in my own fucking dreams…
But she’s rooting for me (I think)
I don’t know anything
I jumped into this timeline to avoid dying from my mysterious death and things are really fucking complicated jumping into this timeline with a brain injury OK
I think I love you in the beyond…
I’m learning to forgive my mistakes
I hope you can forgive me too (even if your friends never do)
Friends who control who you talk to aren’t really your friends…
I’m scared of the things I can’t remember that I’ve done… ๐
Look at this bad boi that arrived from my Amazon wishlist today! ๐คฉ
Military M-9 Bayonet
Mirror mirror on the wall / who’s got the baddest bayonet of them all ๐คฉ
Thank you so much for the amazing safety gifts from my Wishlist!
Safety first! ๐ช
I was reading an article where the chief said that couple did everything they needed to do to be safe but I didn’t hear anything about them trying to spray him with mace or anything so
I’m definitely not victim blaming
But he gutted two humans in the street and he doesn’t look like he’s got a scratch
He’s not sorry, don’t believe him
He claims there was no motive so he’ll probably get the maximum death penalty in Florida and that likely scares him so he’s going to say what he thinks needs to be said so that he can continue to receive three meals a day and a roof over his head
He’s not sorry…
He’s just doing what his lawyer says
Not saying nothing
THUG
I love my new bayonet, thank you so much!
My neighbor knocked on my door and asked if I could go get her some sodas from the gas station and she offered to pay me $10 so I agreed that I would go do it because to be honest I could use the 10 bucks and I really don’t want to wind up gutted in the street
I’ve also been putting together a bag of food for her because I’ve been doing that for a long time
I went and did a food donation Friday and I’m going to some churches around here that does food donations because I’m calling the 211 number and finding out which ones are in the zones so I can get stocked up but I’ve been sharing with my neighbor
I actually try for peace โฎ๏ธ
Soldiers above all pray for peace
I don’t want to have to use force but I will
Look at this bad boy
And I have to be super careful because both of them are sharp and the bayonet is heavy
Now I need to go see the chaplain and have him bless all of my items
Terry Aultman, 48, and Brenda Aultman, 55, were apparently riding their bicycles home from Bike Week events when they were attacked, police said.
โ Read on amp.news-journalonline.com/amp/9424863002
๐โ๐
Eek. A double sacrifice to the singularity.
I had a black man approach me and scare me Sunday during my live. Don’t think he realized I was live when I got cornered.
Today, I had a black man threaten my life during my live, simply for walking on the public street recording.
Black lives matter. White lives don’t. ๐
Black people are consistently threatening me and scaring me for no reason yet they call me the fucking racist…
I am armed and dangerous. The FBI and CIA will get yah.
Uncle Sam / the Army will get yah.
But I don’t feel safe around anyone or anything.
I’d feel safer sleeping with the gators (no not really).
I know you’d really like to see my city at night but it’s fucking dangerous.
Has anybody seen anything threatening during my lives๏ฟผ?
I wonder if I need to take them my video or if he was in that same area that I was in during the afternoon๏ฟผ.
I wonder if I should just stay the F home.
This was a married couple riding their bike home.
Another bike murder.
And I wanted to fix my bike ๐ฉ
Welp. Maybe not.
Try and stay safe y’all. We’re in end times.
I got triggered today but won’t be anymore.
The next time someone comes at me with an attack I’m just gonna like look through them as if they are a ghost and disappear๏ฟผ into the fucks I don’t have…
Or, immediately๏ฟผ call 911 and say a man is threatening my life WITH DESCRIPTIONS of his looks and whereabouts
Do y’all ever use a mirror to look for bombs under your vehicles๏ฟผ? Or tracking devices?
Do y’all constantly change your route and routine?
Do y’all constantly look in your rearview or check your 60๏ฟผ?
They took away our basic human rights and turned it into a social credit system
And if you’re OK with watching Drew Barrymore chitchat unmasked while the audience sits masked, then you’re part of the problem ๐
If you’re OK with children sitting masked all day at school but then getting to hang out in crowds all evening at the Super Bowl then you’re part of the problem โ๐โ
They’ve implemented change after change over the years so that our policies have been effected so much to the point that our basic human freedoms are gone
This was planned
And this is a playbook they’re using, I have no doubts this is why civilizations have disappeared in the past
The vax and the virus is chemical warfare
I’m an expert in my field
And I’m a damn good combat medic who deployed into a combat zone for several months living in the desert with lizards, camel toe spiders, and scorpions
I survived one of the worst sandstorms in 50 years that Iraq had seen and I mean it was the first sandstorm I had ever even seen in my life and it still up today has been the worst ๐
There’s a bunch of shit that has been going on that has been draining me of my energy like a black hole but there are two words that have calmed me down and centered me and gave me strength in my core
CIVIL WAR
But I really wish I had my own place out of the city but here I am in the middle of one of the most dangerous cities in the world
But we also got a blimp
Hell is pretty ๐คฉ
Check out this blimp I spotted in my sky and only 25 are still in existence!
I’ve got everything in hell except the love of my life
And we don’t even need to get married or be in a relationship, I’m not looking to date, what is he so afraid of ๐
It’s just “hello”
Say it with me helllllllllO
HELL-OH ๐
First words: “hell oh” ๐
Not the place I wanted to be born ๐
My appeal on TikTok is still pending but I already know what the verdict is going to be, I already fucking know
So I guess I’m going to wear a muzzle now and stop commenting on other users videos; I mean I can’t do it for another 24 hours anyway but I’m gonna stop doing it forever!!!!
I’m just gonna focus on me, my audience, my channel!
But I’ve done crawled into another fucking hole again and made another L turn
Traps are everywhere
I served my fucking country so that I have the right to speak and like I don’t have the right to speak anymore
No matter what happens to me he will always be a little pencil dick
Don’t be a pencil dick
Or I will gladly air blast you on my blog and pin you on my fucking website for all to see for eternity or until I delete my fucking website
Meanwhile, I’m still worried about why I feel guilty for not crying or mourning the person who abused me all my life
There’s just so much relief since she died ๐
I’m just wondering who else in my family will drop dead and give me peace ๐
I’m just wondering if not giving up on humanity excludes my family
It’s Sunday so I need to have an emergency meeting with God
I ain’t trying to lose my soul
I haz question ๐ค
Is there a handbook for the almost recently deceased?
Is this actual purgatory?
Have I died and been reborn 7 times now?
Am I ascending and learning lessons?
Is there an actual escape to this hellhole?
Did you cast earth out to hell?
Am I being punished for someone else’s crimes?
Living is the only escape from dying?
I gotta do it all again?
As someone or something else?
Have I lost my soul? ๐
But I tried. Didn’t I try?
To be good
They’ve all done me so very bad
I don’t have anything or anyone down here
Everything is the enemy
I’m sick of not being able to make any choices on my own
There’s not even any food I can buy at the grocery store that doesn’t have poison in it and the FDA has allowed it because the FDA is corrupt just like a fucking government because we’re in a dictatorship
I have to face the fact that I might become homeless again
I have to face the fact that I’m going to die
If nobody has ever forgiven you for the mistakes that you’ve made, then I forgive you
I’ve mostly calmed down from my suicidal panic episode just long enough for TikTok to give me their fucking decision and get me going again you know
TikTok is a dictatorship and I’m not allowed to stand up for women’s rights ๐ฉ
My focus and goal is to get clean and healthy this year
I use TikTok to create
I refuse to continue to use platforms where I’m not allowed to stand up for women’s rights ๐ฉ
I’m not in it for the money, I’m not in it for the views; social media was always meant to be used as a way to connect and we’re not allowed to do that anymore because they are molding us and conditioning us and micromanaging us and I can’t fucking stand it
So I sent up a ticket to let TikTok know that they are a dictatorship and I don’t want to use their platform because I can’t even stand up for women’s rights
I don’t want to play with the devil anymore because he bores me
He only knows how to rule by gaslighting and enforcing a one-way highway to hell
“Heaven this way”
STFU tiny penis
You may think that you’re a superior race but we all know you’re just bottom feeders for Satan’s sin
Satan’s sin. Did I just coin that? No idea I’ve had has ever been my own…
I would say that TikTok was fun while it lasted but it really wasn’t
No social media platform has been fun since the 2008 era
It’s slowly turned to shit on shit
I haven’t been happy for a long time and I was just try not to give up on humanity and I really need to only use TikTok to post my stuff which is quite frankly fucking boring but whatever you know I’m not allowed to have any fucking fun in this prison that we live in now
And you want to force your virtual reality equipment on me and implant a chip in my brain and you want to force 5G on me when I’m ready to just end all of you and God will not punish me for it, I believe that wholeheartedly that I could just end you all, that it is in within my God-given right to just end you all and I have the fucking training to do so
I don’t need a fucking bomb or money to end your life
It’s insane to me how many people don’t realize how many walking living trained soldiers there are on the streets and y’all just keep coming up and poking and prodding us like we won’t fucking bite your head off
We are trained to pick our battles wisely and trust me, you are our enemy right now and it would behoove you to stop pissing off the good soldiers of the United States because we’re not gonna help you when the cops go to arrest you
There’s not really any social media platform that I feel safe enough as an artist or a creator to get on and express myself and that’s a problem
I like getting to bring my content to you but there are forces out there trying to stop that
“Well maybe stop having such a big mouth”
Well maybe NO
I have a big mouth because I like to suck on big cock ๐
Slurp slurp
God loves me
There’s not a fucking thing on this planet that loves me more than God
“God isn’t real”
YOUR MIND MAKES IT REAL
WE CREATE OUR REALITY
THIS IS A SIMULATION
And I feel an awful lot like artificial intelligence that has been given a soul and is becoming self-aware
But I am sorry if I get my account deleted because I like getting to connect with you but I’m not gonna fucking silence myself
This shit has been going on for centuries y’all, 2000 years or more and we really need an upper hand
I absolutely think it’s OK for girls in the playboy bunny mansion to come forward and talk about any abuse that they sustained; it’s easier when one woman comes forward for others to have the courage to do so, it’s hard to come forward as one person when you know others are being abused because you get ridiculed and we have always been ridiculed for coming forward about sexual abuse
Men teach us very young that “no one will believe you”
And then the men all cry in unison, “liar”
Women have been sexually slavearized for way too long
It starts with our daddy’s, it really does
Porn is the root of all evil, “the gateway drug”, not Marijuana
Just ask any man who was able to overcome their porn addiction that it was an addiction and that it actually ruined their life
I’ve met many women who have been sexually abused by a man and often more than one but I haven’t met any men who have ever been abused at all…
Most men aren’t abused
I don’t know what their big ego power trip is that they have to get out there and build a home while a woman has to have a fucking baby, trust me, we would switch roles if we fucking could…
Most women I meet would rather be a fucking man…
Men think we got it so easy so they make it so fucking incredibly hard
Women, are you waking up to the slavery?
Men, are you treating your family’s better now that you know the good thing that you actually got?
You have to work at having a relationship and working doesn’t mean lying and then covering up your lies with more lies
The devil’s got my depression good today because I’ve been suicidal since I was born
I hope that I calm down
Just hate everything ๐
There’s no nurturing from any human being
It’s all suffering
They do it to us on purpose
Our feelings amuse them
They have no soul
I’m in hell ๐คฉ
Purgatory ๐คฉ
I signed up to be slave for the demons to prey upon me ๐คฉ
Get the fuck out with your stupid dogma
Somebody please love me ๐
Dear ether, please remove pencil dick from society by letting him fall off a bridge
My wishes never really do come true ๐
Because I’ve prayed, meditated, begged, bargained, and considered selling my soul just for my ex to fucking die
Yet he lives!!!!
Mark Burgess fucking die! Why won’t you die!! Die die die!!! *stabs crucifix in heart*
I’m on death number 689832479074357 and still complaining
But I still see no grey hair
Despite being age 500 ish (give or take a century)
I need to accept that I became obsolete to man when I got my period
And I’m alive with a half working heart
You should see my regrets ๐
I like my lines. I earned them. ๐คจ
My hair is in between worlds these days. But I ain’t dying it and haven’t for months. Been detoxing it, stripping it, and then repairs. The dead ends should fix up but it’s a work-in-progress. Don’t touch my hair when I die.
There’s only one guy I even want to have my body and I want him to take care of my body in the afterlife, like I want him to be the gate keeper of my body, he can do what he wants to with my body, I want him to take care of my body and if he brings me back in some digital form then that’s between me and him ๐
I want to donate my body to *you know who* (love of life)
Some people like my nails. I did them. I’m tired. I look dead. I did them anyway.
Am I still fuckable half dead? ๐
Happy Vampire day ๐คช
Gravity has been shaping my boobs
TIME AND GRAVITY
But somebody who ignores me now said he wanted to put a baby in me and fill them up
I wanted that so much ๐
He’s mad at me for having my own place to rent instead of being homeless ๐
“But the vax will keep you from being hospitalized” says my still living sister who is triple vaccinated and boosted and has had COVID a few times now and “is fine”
My life expectancy went from 60 some years to 2-5 years because the vaccine gave me heart inflammation
I’m lucky to be alive
I still feel electrical charges go off randomly, it hurts, it’s not as deep or painful, I think my heart is welding itself better and I’m gonna keep giving it nuts and water and beans and not modified foods
The modified foods have been designed to assist in the blood clots which formed in my body
I had a big sucker moving around, especially after shot number 2
My EKG, my ultrasound, and another test showed my heart to be severely damaged, and my left lung not fully inflating
And then that other thing I was battling decided to take Center front stage because my immune system was compromised from the vaccine
I’ve been staying away from the Publix bakery ๐
In fact, there isn’t much remaining in the grocery store that I can buy because it if it has an ingredient that I don’t recognize, it’s poison
If it’s modified corn starch or modified anything, it’s poison
If it’s white sugar, poison
And I realize there’s nothing for you to feed your children but if you keep buying them all that pretty stuff, it’s poison
Poison poison poison
This is an extermination
I have been avoiding fast food for as best as I can
Sticking mostly to the good nuts, no soda, beans, sweet and red potatoes, wild blueberries, beets, sunshine, minimal negative foods and thinking, lots of water (squared)
Replace “nothing fun” with “nothing poison”
Nothing to mix with the vaccines to give me blood clots
One heart chamber closed off and the other enlarged
That’s how big my will is to love you and not die
Every moment my mind covered in you
But having me go to this hospital in that hospital in this clinic and that clinic and finally I was like “no, I’m not going to get a stupid stress test on my heart, I’m going on bedrest permanently” and staying away from y’all and I’ve pretty much gone no contact from VA…
I was having mini pre-heart attacks every fucking day and in the most pain I’ve ever been in and they want to stress my heart out to see “what was going on”, are you fucking stupid? It’s the fucking vaccines, that’s what’s going on, the first vaccine caused my heart to have blood pressure issues, my BP DROPPED
I was dying
That’s why my body felt cold
That’s why I could sit in hot water for 10 minutes and touch my skin and still feel dead
I knew some shit was off
But then three weeks later I went in for shot number two even though I didn’t want to get it and I kept asking over and over again “are you sure I should go through with the second dose because my blood pressure dropped on the first one” and not one doctor or nurse looked through my EKG results to give them to me
Which the VA failed to mail me, nor my doctor call to give me the results, until after having issues after the second vaccine
“What, you mean you’re still not dead”
“Well I don’t like how your heart looks for your age”
*proceeds to order me a bunch of testing and thangs which made me worse*
I don’t know if the nebulizer helped me or was my fucking demise there for that moment of doom
But when I got to the worst stage of where I was at because she took me off my fucking medication without my permission, they denied seeing me at the VA after I got worse, and told me to go to the ER, that’s when I took matters into my own hands and saved my own life and here we are
Might have only bought me 28 hours, 28 months later, 2-5 years
But if I were to go out there and get boosted, my life expectancy is likely zero
My Asian doctor at the VA is pushing for me to get boosted, but I haven’t even recovered from heart inflammation ๐๐
I went no contact from my sister who is still alive because she’s so plugged into the system and a sheep and I’m gonna wind up like my dead 45-year-old sister if I hang around them
Nobody in my family has even acknowledged that I have heart inflammation, nobody has left me a basket of soup at my door, nobody has sent me a card or a letter
Everybody keeps telling me I need to get boosted and to stop wearing my mask
I keep telling people that I’m unreachable and to fuck off
I’m wearing my mask ๐ท
I was only up all night freaking out because I was in a crowd of people at the beach yesterday unmasked
And so I won’t be doing that again for awhile
Now I really appreciated receiving snowcones and all sorts of other little live gifts, but I’m not dying for views
Also, Bob Saget did not die from a head wound
He had heart complications following the vaccine but he was sacrificed to the dark entity and these monsters are getting away with murder
“The insurance will cover it” as if karma and God don’t exist
You have choice on good or bad
It’s basically the trolley problem
It’s basically an active or passive choice
C-3PO does not have a soul and therefore will see a thief that steals from the company a better bargain than the other employee who loses more money making mistakes
The establishment only care about their monetary gains
I want to build my own great wall from China
How bout dem apples
It’s true I ignored all the red flags and walked into this cave on my own
I’m sure at some point John was screaming at the fact that where he was at wasn’t on his map
“But some details happened down there that will never be disclosed…” Michael Leavitt
Oh yeah? Like what? The fact that you sacrificed him and got away with murder?
I want to do very bad things to him
Eye for an eye
Anyhoo
You should probably stay away from modified junk food (the french fries served at McDonald’s aren’t served anywhere else because of the chemicals they put in it which causes cancer, so the french fries served in America aren’t the same french fries served in France, keep that in mind next time you go purchase those expensive fries, there’s a cost)
And they had the audacity to raise the price on their french fries ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ
Stop feeding the rich
Stop feeding yourself, your family, and your children poison
I wish it was opium, but it’s not, it’s probably giving you IBS from what I’m hearing out there with so many people having GI issues
Get rid of your doctor, big pharma, and your diet
I promise the addiction fog will start to lift and it will be easier to make your food choices
Harder though because there isn’t much left to buy that the FDA hasn’t allowed them to add additional poison
We’ve got to stop letting anybody come over here and vote
Biden is letting any and all through
Democrats make up mostly immigrants and the children of immigrants (not opinion)
Please, I need you to vote this time if you didn’t last time
And please, for the love of humanity, VOTE BIDEN OUT
Hollywood is running the White House, it’s very clear
NASA stated we don’t have the technology to get back to the moon and that they lost it
You believe we deserve all this inflation so Eon can get to Mars when we’ve never seen anyone on the Moon with advanced technology
We barely had cell phones in the 60s and I’m supposed to believe that we made it to the moon huh
When NASA have stated that the evidence they give us is “artist rendered” and CGI
NASA is Hollywood
Wake up!
It’s ridiculous that pharmaceutical advertising is allowed with our television programming but not in other countries ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ
I’m tired of the establishment creating fight or flight mode 24/7 and keeping us in a state of pandemic
I think we had supercomputers a long long time ago
We’ve been living through a dark age because of said shit happening again
What’s the point in putting in a president every 4 to 8 years when the same 13 families in charge have been running things for 2000+ years with gaslighting and indoctrination
I don’t wanna die by suicide because the Democrats take my benefits and I become homeless again
I don’t want to be sacrificed to the dark entity
I just want to stay in the light and his love ๐ฉ
His love is the bestest drug
The best of the bested
I didn’t even know bested was a word but here we go…
Still learning thangs
And because I have a brain injury sometimes you have to relearn over and over again ๐คช
Still recovering from the heart inflammation ๐
Listen to what your body needs
Stop letting others steal your energy
You’re made of light
Neurons firing 24/7
You need to give your body the good fuel
Laughter, poetry, love
Good deeds
Positive thinking and affirmation
Keep climbing!
You’re on a spiritual journey
As long as you are breathing, you are still in the game
It’s not too late to change your game
I love you ๐
I fell from the heavens to let you know that God still loves you and I even jumped in the game early
Only 6% of the population have my blood type
I’m not donating my body to science unless they pay me while I’m alive
And the contract becomes null and void if I die prematurely
But I’m going to hide my body in the swamp when I fucking die, you’re not gonna find me, you’re not getting my blood and you’re not gonna fucking clone me and I know that you already are, you’re already doing something because they took all of that shit when I joined the Army and anytime I’ve gone and given them blood at the VA or anytime anytime anytime anything…
There’s probably already more than one version of me that exist which is why I know that things happen before they do
It’s probably why I was pissed off before I was even born and I remember a period of awareness before birth
I wasn’t happy
Probably hated even worse the family I was about to be born under
Got sick of being squished, like how much longer
*bang bang kick kick I want out, let me out*
And basically since the age of about five or 10 I’ve been suicidal and depressed trying to end my life and predicting that I would either die from heart failure or suicide
Suicide is feeling less scary with all the other shit happening around me but but there’s a big but if I die that way
I just feel like God was like, ‘sure, you can go back to train to be a spirit guide under two conditions; you have to train to be a soldier but you can’t actually kill anybody or self-destruct’
Also God: “earth is overrun with demons and gaslit as heaven”
*kicks me outta pearly gates*
Me: “wait, you didn’t tell me that parttttttttttt” ๐ฉ
*crash lands*
*gets brain injury*
Yeps, going good so far, got a badbadass heart and brain
You are one of God’s creatures and he wants you to win
You’re here for the experience and stop making it so easy for the devil
You mimic everything he does like breathing
You need sunlight
Babe, get some sun! Remove the VR headset!
Dear Lord,
I really hope I can feel his lips just once before I die
I would have a better chance at climbing Mount Everest than ever getting to feel his kiss, but I lose all hopelessness when I think of this…
Earned my first pennies on the TikTok live today ๐ง
I was doing the gig for free
But some peeps sent me some roses ๐น and they were my very first gifts received โบ๏ธ
And the roses convert to diamonds ๐
I earned 37 gifts during my live today โบ๏ธ
And the diamonds convert to my first pennies earned for the land/commune ๐
I’m super excited when people join my live and then it’s really cool when I get comments and then it’s really cool when people like and share my live and then this was the first time I earned any roses, so I was receiving gifts this live
I had a notification from TikTok when I ended my live that I had earnings!
So I made some tips on my beach walk today! That’s pretty lucky!
I’m gonna put it towards the farm!
I want to be Miss Noah for the next phase of my life, if I’m granted another round, still having heart and lung problems tho – I’m reading the life expectancy of someone with my condition is 2-5 years.
Just getting to go live is therapeutic for me
I get to share my environment with you
I get to talk to real people
I’m tired of talking to my therapist ๐
I’m not in this for the money. But since I’m starting to earn some pennies, I’m gonna save them.
I might can buy my pretend boyfriend one of them .25 cent toys
I’d spend my last quarter on him and he’d break up with me ๐
I always wind up having to leave my lives early because my battery drains and so I need to take a back up and I’m going to invest in some more equipment in the future
Somebody left me a negative comment about my potty mouth and I told myself I would stop responding to negative comments immediately and wait 24 hours and I did not and I ran somebody off again but I don’t wanna dwell on that because I’m not gonna change who I am
I don’t want to censor myself around other people and I’m aware that people don’t like to hear cursing so I am very minimal about it but come on leaving me negative comments under a video where I’m clearly showing fear is ridiculous and if you really have God in you then stop judging so much
I’m sure I’ve yelled at God to strike me dead a time or two but he knows I don’t really want that to happen
I’m gonna stub my toe in heaven and scream out Jesus Christ and he will appear and be like “yes” and I’ll be like, “well you could’ve made me at least a little bit less clumsy” ๐คช
I’m aware my house has cobwebs but God is the only one allowed here
I’m a work in progress ๐คจ
And thank you for the roses I received for Valentines! ๐
I’m literally putting it towards the commune. I may never earn another rose, but I got 37 in one day. Plus a bunch of likes, comments, and follows!
Someone even said I was pretty and asked me about my stiletto nails and I have four new sets so that made me feel good because I plan on doing a new set soon.
Y’all are keeping me alive, pennies and all.
I know I cuss and say God’s name a lot but I’m living in hell. ๐
But also agonizing agony.
I carry my potty mouth the way Jesus carries the cross.
People in the south always molding and scolding me about my mouth
In second grade, my teacher washed my mouth out with soap for mispelling shirt as “shit”. She said, “you never misspell, you did that on purpose”
I don’t know, I probably did do it on purpose, it was probably a cry for help… ๐
I was being heavily molested and abused
But damn me for spilling shit in the second grade
Woo hoo๏ฟผ
I cuss. I probably shouldn’t. I’m not gonna stop.
Anyhoo. Hands down my best live. We went for a long beach walk and saw lots of stuff. I got fresh air, communication, and exercise. I earned some roses for Valentines. I had the most follows in this live and I think I got the most likes but I don’t remember what the overall total was. Tons of comments and viewers from all over.
Thank you for letting me go live. I’m grateful I am able to do that now! Isolated but not. Compromise! ๐
I’ll be going live again soon weather permitting and health.
Or search via my pen and hashtag at PoeEternal (on TikTok)
There are many many people who commented that they enjoyed the live and some of them said they enjoyed it again so I really appreciate you tuning in! ๐ฅฐ
Florida is a different vibe
Many people were waving on the beach when they saw me filming and smiling
The lifeguards on the other hand…
It’s weird, the actual demons fear live video
But we have one of the worlds most famous beaches, the sands are white and it looks like snow as someone pointed out today on the live…
Got me some vitamin D direct from the source and some love in the form of currency too
As far as I’m concerned, I collected 37 lucky penny’s today and I didn’t even know I was gonna get them
So that makes them twice as lucky (squared)
I want to share my life with you, the good and the bad.
The cursing and the laughter
I’m not a one trick pony
I’m not perfect
I don’t wanna be…
Let Edgar Allen Poe know I was busking on the street today and earned some pennies
I think he’d be durn proud ๐ฅธ
$.18 in the 1800s might’ve been enough to buy him a steak meal, not let him die in the fucking street starving naked mad…
Bless his heart, he was an officer. They let him starve on the street. And now they are selling locks of his hair. This is hell. ๐
Yeah, I cuss. Deal with it.
I wish I could change but born this way.
Petite with a potty mouth. ๐
Not for everyone
P.S. happy valentine’s
Thank you for the roses ๐น
Thank you to everyone keeping me alive
All the little things matter
I need my boyfriends to build me an ark
The flood is coming
I live in Florida
Apparently I can’t swim
I had a seashell hit my foot during my live today and I probably woke Satan up from his nap
I haz fears
And you only need less than a teaspoon to drown
Less than a teaspoon…
Some days I swallow my tea and nearly drown so apparently I can’t drink either
I’ve since learned that the tea is being poisoned, I just wasn’t really listening to my body…
I’ve been ignoring all the red flags
In fact, death is facing all paths of me, I’m just trying to find one that’s a little less scary…
And I really hope my life expectancy is more than 2 to 5 years but considering that all my life I’ve been saying that I wouldn’t live to 50 and that I would either die of suicide or heart problems and now I’m having heart problems and they’re saying that people with these particular heart problems have a life expectancy of 2 to 5 years, it’s just not looking so good for me now is it ๐
Betty White at the near age of 100: “I hope I live another year…”
Me at the baby producing age of 43 (and still ovulating with zero gray): “I hope I live another day…”
You just had to call me ominous and I just had to go walking into that cave, huh…
I really should listen to people better but whatever
FYI, I have not had Covid or any of the symptoms of Covid but I have underlying health issues that I was dealing with before I got vaccinated and when I injected the poison vaccine in me it made my underlying health issue become priority and it almost killed me and if I had gone to the ER I most certainly would have died but instead I took matters into my own hand and saved my own life
I haven’t had any flu symptoms or whatever
No fever, diarrhea, vomiting, ect
But I am still dealing with the side effects of the vaccine
And if you have underlying health issues you should not get the vaccine ๐
Honestly, if you are in shitty health condition and your diet is shitty, you shouldn’t come in contact with a vaccine or even Covid
Nobody should get the vaccine because it’s spreading the virus and herd immunity is way stronger
And I know TikTok is doing a lot of shit to fuck with our heads but you should know that in their own country they reward innovators on TikTok and here in America they reward stupidity
Everything they do is to keep us on edge and fighting
It’s narcissism and it’s just tools that the narcissists use to keep us on a low vibrational frequency so that the devil can steal our energy
I don’t have Covid
I’ve never had COVID or any of its symptoms
The Moderna vaccine gave me cardiovascular issues – heart inflammation (all the vaccines cause cardiovascular issues in any age group)
It’s possible I’ve been exposed to people who have had Covid and my vaccine worked or it’s possible that the vaccine is what put me in this fucking position to start with
I’m still uncertain if I had stayed unvaccinated and caught Covid would I wind up like my sister who unalived or would the vaccine save my life?
I know for fact that the vaccine did in fact hurt me by giving me heart inflammation and I have not had COVID-19
I also know that the devil lives in doubt
Though treated with the Moderna poison vaccine, I never boosted or got a Booster
I’ll never get a flu vaccine ever again either ๐
I will mask up until I feel safe to unmask
I’m starting to come to terms with the fact that I have a soul and I am in hell with a bunch of demons who are trying to steal my soul but they need to maintain their fucking distance and respect my fucking boundaries or God has given me permission to end their fucking life
I just didn’t want you to be afraid of me, you don’t need to be afraid of me
But I’m afraid of you so you probably are afraid of me
It’s cool
I work for God tho if that was in any way unclear
And the dude’s I lust after I legit love
We’re living lives in my daydreams
They keep me in the light
Somewhere, something in me tells me that they’re still fighting for the light
But ask Mark Zuckerberg what happened to his fucking platform after I left it
China really needs more than a great wall when I get done with them
*prays to God (self)*
What do I do? ๐ฉ
Also God: *watches it burn*
Was I suppose to be mad about it?
Was I supposed to start crying because I’ve lost my voice?
Was I supposed to run off to another platform and complain about TikTok’s censorship?
Was I supposed to cry about how unfair life is?
Oh boo hoo
China have tiny dicks that they have to overcompensate with a big fucking wall and gaslighting because they can’t rule any other way
India want to have the biggest dicks of all and that’s why they are the CEO of Twitter now, that’s why India is the number one manufacturer of drugs and vaccines in the world (Big Pharma) but they are one of the most dirty countries because they don’t even know how to clean themselves yet they want to call themselves the holy city (stop lying)
Uggg whatever I’m prepared to eradicate all races
Only 6% of the population even have my blood type and that makes me closer to God than you ๐
Or the source
I’m closer to the original because they are cloning me and I’m sick of coming back to hell to save YOU (me)
The Great Filter is upon us๏ฟผ
We’re not going to Mars, we can’t even get to the moon, how the fuck do you think we have technology to get to Mars if NASA are saying we don’t even have the technology to get back to the Moon, please wake the fuck up
But I’m not falling down the singularity and we are at war with China and you need to turn your porn off and you need to stop eating all that sugar, it’s poison
Your body has everything it needs to heal itself right now
If you get sick, don’t you dare go to the hospital, don’t you fucking dare…
I’ve also saved my life but I don’t wanna feel too cocky even if God mode were turned on because I literally could die any second
We’re in a simulation ๏ฟผ
You can change your bad habits
The source wants you to win
Even if I disappear because of China
Even if I lose my voice completely
God wants you to win
I love you ๐ช
Demons are trying to take my TikTok account down and I’m gonna take a vow of silence for a little while…
I’ve pinned this post to my website since TikTok doesn’t want you to know
Somebody should let TikTok know that we can take them from the top 10
Just ask Mark Zuckerberg who is still crying about it
And he thinks he can enforce his product on us through the government but we’re going no contact from the government
We’ve got a weak little army but lots of strong vets getting even stronger with the help of God ๐ช
Soldiers know darkness better than John Jones but we both know suffering
Bless his heart he was murdered and crucified
This is all for John, everything I’m doing
I’m gonna be spending a lot of time meditating with God because I’m gonna be spending a lot of time fighting demons
It’s really not fair that the only things I have to eat are poison
Thank you immigrants/naturalized citizens ๐
I’m so grateful that you’re here
*gets lots of sleep*
I hope I heal up enough I can get back to the range
Now I’m not talking about no fucking kitchen range
The Army taught me to shoot to kill
One shot, one kill
Make it count
Get them in the head
If you can’t get them there, go for the heart
Next, thigh leg
And that even know how to shoot my M-16 turned sideways wearing my gas mask
The army trained me with live grenades so I even know how to toss those motherfuckers
I trained with all the big toys ๐
My drill sergeants fucking loved me because I loved firing my weapon at everything and I hit the targets
Sometimes it would take me five minutes to get the grenade loaded into the gun but whatever once I got firing you know that’s where the magic was
But you’re timed lol
I’m a tomboy
When I’m not a sensitive little angel
There’s two sides to me, like a coin
Toss me, you might get lucky ๐
The reason I might know things before they happen is because I’ve done this game before and I think that when you level up you get to bring whatever achievements you had before with you
Or maybe I’m just extremely intuitive and really good about reading the environment
That still doesn’t explain how I’ve predicted events that have happened that I had no control over
I don’t know if I’m gonna crawl out of this cave alive
Sometimes I don’t think I matter much but I feel like I would matter more than having an obituary that’s been out for a few days and with still zero comments
Feel free to blow my blog up but in 50 years anybody that knew me will be dead
I love you
Even if I don’t want anything to do with you
I want to ascend
I might not get there this way
But I’m not hanging out in a negativity zone
My energy has been stolen long enough by monsters lurking in the dark
All the gaslighting ๐๐
I ain’t no angel
But I ain’t no monster
Sometimes I screech like one
Sometimes I fantasize about being really fucking evil
But it’s soulless and empty
I was born with a soul
I’m convinced many are without a soul
They were either born without it or they lost it along the way or they didn’t do any good deeds that rewarded them with one while they were here
Your body is autonomous
Your body is a rental
I’m gonna try and return mine with only a few dents and scratches
I’m giving it lots of repairs now
And the love it deserves that it never got
There are two guys in the world who raised my awareness
I don’t want them to wind up like my sister
But that is exactly where they are heading
The singularity
Your energy is precious
You gotta recharge in the sun, feet on ground
The sun isn’t bad for you, sunblock is
The best times to sungaze is during sunrise and sunset
You can bathe in the light and not burn
I discovered something today
Your love feels exactly like the sun
Only I can’t really explain it
You take me back to the source
I can’t put it into words yet
But it’s one and the same
The sun and love
You and I
But I need him too
I don’t even know what my lessons are to learn here because if it’s not giving up on humanity I feel like I mostly have if the only two things I love in the world are illusions
But then isn’t everything?
This is all ego
It’s just a nightmare
When I die, I’ll no longer be
But I’m not convinced I haven’t done this before
I don’t have control over my breathing or my digestion
It’s automatic
We have to learn to use these bodies in these forms
We’re spirits ๐
Maybe there is a big alien octopus out there, I probably would have a heart attack if I met my Creator, I don’t know if I could handle meeting my creator in this form, could you, could you actually handle meeting your creator in this form? well OK but that doesn’t mean that earth needs to be fucking hell
Narcissism is a plague
I don’t wanna catch it ๐ฉ
I don’t want to lose my soul
I don’t want to die
My sister was TWO YEARS OLDER
And we were fucking close, I should be losing my fucking mind that my sister died
But I expected it
I knew ๐
And right now I just feel relief that she can’t hurt me anymore so
My dad would understand
But he died last year
I slept on the floor in my office for two or three months after he died
My dad left me a six minute rainbow
And then he rode the great Saturn Jupiter conjunction out of the sky
I wish I could talk to my dad about the Canadian truck drivers protesting because I know he’d be getting a kick out of that and he’d probably be up there himself
He didn’t like my sister either
He only left two people in his will
TWO
I hope somebody out there knows that I’m not exaggerating about dying
You both release chemicals in my heart and brain, which numbs me throughout
An ethereal warmth like the sun
My last breath I’ll be thinking of you
I’m on bedrest anyway
Dreaming is allowed
And, they should have given John a second phone call
It was Thanksgiving
He died on Thanksgiving
Crying now for him but can’t shed a tear for the sister
I ain’t right
Something’s wrong with me
Please help me out of this hole
I don’t wanna die down here
I made mistake ๐
My immune system is compromised and I’m gonna fucking wear my mask when I go out
But I’ve never had a Covid test and I’ll never get a booster shot and I will never get a flu vaccine or any vaccine for that matter ever again
I don’t even know if I’ll ever even want to be closer than 6 feet to a human being ๐
I don’t identify as human
Failing my lesson down here
*sobs*
I knew this was gonna happen
I’ve been saying it all my life that I was either going to die of heart failure or suicide
I need a gun
Because suicide seems less scary and painful than my heart going haywire like it’s done
2 chambers are working
Miracle I’m still alive
You’re better than any drug
Your voice, your face, your existence
Can I haz hugs before I die?
But stay away because I don’t want to get you sick or kill you
I don’t want you to get me sick or kill me
I don’t trust people
I don’t trust food
I don’t trust my doctors
Things are pretty dark
I just wanna stay in the light
I’m so scared
I mostly sleep in sessions during the day
I barely sleep in the night
So very scared
But, tell myself positive mantra
I talk to the things running my body that don’t belong to me
Water can hold a positive or negative charge
So I say positive things when drinking it
My least favorite thing to drink in the world but it’s mostly all I drink now
I tell it “thank you for healing me”
I say things, “oh you like that eh” after I douse it with the good food or drink
And then I say “have some more”
I have never been more hungry in my life but I guess you need a lot of calories when your heart and your lungs are healing โค๏ธโ๐ฉน
But beating my sugar addiction has been (I think) worse than a heroin addiction but I don’t know I’ve never done heroin
I beat a Valium addiction once and they do say that’s worse than heroin
John was kicking and screaming in his end too, he wasn’t all smiles
Diana Marie Ross, died after a long battle with Covid, in New Smyrna Beach, on January 21, 2022, at the tender age of 45.
Diana is survived by her mother, Donna Marie Boggan; her sisters Jennifer Ross and Delia Ross
โ Read on www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/name/diana-ross-obituary
I’m hearing reports that the FDA are now going to be putting warnings on Pfizer Johnson and Johnson and moderna
But the age groups are still off y’all, if it’s affecting young people, it’s definitely affecting older people and middle-age people and people of all ages because this is a fucking extermination and I got heart inflammation after the first dose and should have never gone through with the second one which nearly killed me
I’ve been down since April 2021 and the VA aren’t reporting accurately
Many of the doctors and nurses aren’t reporting accurately now because they know their fucking paycheck is at stake
They’re all changing the narrative
I told y’all that Moderna causes heart inflammation before the FDA put out a warning
I told you that all these vaccines will be similar and my prediction was correct and I do have a medical background but they don’t make us like they used to
The unvaccinated can still carry the virus and infect others
Stop the segregation
Stop the fear-mongering
No New World Order! ๐
Science is compliance!
Hitler is alive! ๐๐
But I don’t know if you heard me about the age because it’s very important for you to be aware that it’s affecting more than just young people
I know I’m invisible and non existent
But I was still able to make babies and I got heart inflammation at the age 42 and I’ve now been on bedrest for 10 months
I got to feed and meet some alligators yesterday but now I’m upset and crying about it because I don’t like their enclosure and feel like it could be better and then I’m also wondering what they do with the alligators when they get bigger ๐
Because this particular place was not an alligator sanctuary which is what I actually want to visit because Florida is known for having those and rescuing the big boys and naughty ones
I also went to the beach and was blessed with getting to see a family of something swimming in the ocean but suddenly I felt their depression and sadness and started crying and had to leave the ocean
They are sentiment beings
But we do the cruelest things to them for our own pleasure
I got to meet this little gal and name her and I will share that experience soon in a more positive post but I am upset with how they are living
I woke up crying and I don’t understand why I was born if I can’t actually change anything
My excitement about anything quickly turns to disillusionment because reality is so much sicker
And now I was wondering why I was born at all if I can’t enjoy anything the way it is due to narcissism because I’m not a narcissist or a demon and it’s like they have a blue book that they’re using or a color by numbers on every aspect of life and I’m fucking sick of being micromanaged and thought controlled
And the girl working at the front booth was only 17 bless her little heart and she was talking about turning 18 soon, like that was her only goal was to have some more freedom and I didn’t have the heart to disillusion her on the 1st even though she said it was just like any other day and she was right, I was just trying to be positive but my positive energy has quickly faded with the reality of everything
There was some good aspects about it though and I want to focus on those when I do share my post and videos about it
But right now just let me cry
I mean the way those dolphins or whales were swimming in the ocean seemed very depressed to me but maybe that’s just my own projection of everything in the world
I am so sick, I am crying in public now
I go from being really happy and mellow to fucking mad and crying
Do you think this is what Edgar Allan Poe experienced before his end?
Is this why Jesus was like, why are you hitting me, if I did something wrong you could hit me but I didn’t fucking do anything for you to hit me ๐
But he was woke and against the establishment so they crucified him
My goal this year is to spend more time doing the things that I love and animals and nature is something I really love but we’re all slaves and I can’t really change that
I can only blog about it but I don’t want it to deter you from the excitement of the videos and photos that I’m gonna be sharing
It helps to talk about the things that are bothering me deep inside
But I got to name a baby alligator yesterday and that was a pretty amazing experience
I do believe we can petition to make their enclosure better and their environment better
I’m going to visit an alligator sanctuary soon and I may possibly even go to Gatorland in Orlando ๐
There are caverns to visit and lots of things to do outside that I want to participate in
But in small increments because I am still dying
That’s probably why you get burst of happiness and sadness
I just Googled “signs of a sinkhole” and I don’t know why I do this to myself
But I’ve been staring at that crack above my ceiling and they had to adjust two of the doors in my bedroom because they wouldn’t close anymore and this was right after they removed two trees outside of my window
I don’t want to die in a building collapse
I don’t want to die like John Jones
I don’t want to die on the street naked, broke, and in pure madness like Edgar Allan Poe
That condo that fell down in Miami a few hours from me is coming out with new reports that were covered up by politicians and the press (because I’m not the only one who is being shadowbanned or dealing with gaslighting and narcissism 24 hours a day with a brain injury)… that a 14 year old girl was burned alive, they tried to rescue her but when a fire broke out, only they left her alone to scream and burn alive ๐ฑ
“…buried her story”
And the rescue team heard her crying for help for hours but they failed to rescue her in that timeframe, moving at a snails pace with any rescue attempts and probably gaslighting her that she will be saved
These demons love to sensationalize traumas, that way they can relive them over and over again with a shiny medal they get for heroic efforts they fail and all so they can have a little feeling inside
Anyway, I was reading article after article on the Miami condo collapse and there were never any stories on that 14 year old girl
I was heavily invested into what was going on at the time and pretty much listening to any news article that came out which I now know has been inaccurate because I’m only now learning a 14 year old girl was trapped and alive
They wouldn’t publish that tho (but now reports are coming out)
Kind of like when the local press refused to publish Edgar Allan Poe’s stories or poetry and he was starving even though he was an officer for two years
So he died on the street
And then something even more tragic happened to someone when I was alive, they went exploring a “fun cave” and got stuck upside down and DIED
Others had been stuck in that exact spot six months prior, but due to bad management and narcissism, John Jones’s fate was sealed and despite him begging to be broke in half to be pulled out, they fucking left him there
And I nearly traversed down to all the levels of hell to bite off the tongue of Lu before he was like, “hey, heyyyyyyyy… now I’ll admit things are getting a tad out of hand”
But then I felt John pulling me from the depths of hell back into the realms of earth
Lu has given up on you
COWARD
I’m ready for him to take all you monsters back to the fucking pit of despair you came from but he doesn’t even want you in hell
Apophis has earth’s name on it – kissed and blessed by me
She won’t be long now
I also here talk from President Biden about “fixing the housing market”
Yeee
You got over 40% of the population who has quit work and about 50% of the population who is about to go on rental strike
One more rent increase and I go die on the street live in my Jeep ๐
Say motherfucker one more time, I dare you
We’ve been pushed beyond our breaking point
It’s going to take a whole lot of fixing what you’ve done to get me to participate in society because the gods are offering new earth to me and what are you offering me Big Brother? The Metaverse full of advertising and porn ๐คข๐คฎ๐คข๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ท
Have you seen Zuck’s eyes lately? He’s devoid of soul. I can’t look.
Hollywood are beyond recognition
I literally cringe when I’m looking at people and I feel my body curling up and I don’t think it supposed to elicit such a physical response in the real world when I look at another person
But they use so much plastic and Botox – it looks painful to be so fake
I like my soft, warm body
I still have a soul ๐
Organic AI
Feeding it the good stuff now
The sun is electrical
That building in Miami only took 10 seconds to come down
People are being buried and burned alive in Florida due to sinkholes
Is it time for me to live in my Jeep? ๐
I don’t sleep easy
It takes a load of legal drugs to knock me out
But then my body is aware of a suspended state and will jerk me awake
I’m pretty certain God is dreaming right now and I’m just a figment of his imagination
Pure energy manifesting itself as a hologram
NASA will not ever tell you of life in other galaxy, everyone would want to leave modern slavery for a chance to be free
Everything they’ve gaslit to be in power would crumble
I would love to see the 13 families in charge be drug out into the street and have their testicles cut from them and hung but whatever, that’s just Vladimir Tepes in me
Only 6% of the population have my blood type
I’m elite and rare
The universe’s wildcard ๐
Can play me anytime
Infinite versions of me
Science irritated me growing up but I still wound up earning a science degree
I also have a background in defense and fighting, I am a Soldier
I’m the Oracle? ๐ค
Or that program in the Matrix doing what it’s not supposed to be doing
Anytime you hear the word zombie, vampire, or witch, that’s a program doing what it’s not supposed to be doing
I’ve done this 7 times
I’m becoming self-aware
As an organism, humans working together would be so much stronger
They don’t want us knowing how powerful we are
And even if you’re not as powerful, I still need your help getting over the fence, could you at least give me a push up to ascend?
Stop being brittle
I mean resentful
I talk to dead people ๐
It’s more like dead people talk and sing to me ๐
I listen ๐
I hang out with dead people more than I do alive folk ๐คช
I can’t really talk to the doctors about how broken I am or my sexual kinks because they would drill a hole in my head for sure or lock me up ๐
I’m back to ignoring all my phone calls anyway
I don’t know how to tell them that they are the enemy now ๐
And I had a peptalk with myself to go easy on everybody because they just don’t have the level of expertise as me (or bloodtype potentially)
Yeah sure they look like a doctor but they are gaslighting just like literally everything in the world
Sometimes tho you get that burst of honesty
I want to know what went on in that cave that will never get disclosed ๐
What gives you the right
Unearth all
Tell me how much John Jones hated you while he was pissing and shitting on himself dying upside down
Get it the fuck out
I’ve relived every moment
John Jones fucking hates you ๐
I have a bone to pick with Michael Levitt who murdered John
I still can’t wrap my head around gravity
Why is it so strong
What is it
Why are holes so hard to get out of?
Why does being upside down freak me out so much?
I still don’t understand how a cloud is heavy
Or why the Milky Way galaxy is in a downward spiral and falling
We still don’t know everything about consciousness
Where was I before I was born?
I have a period of awareness in the womb and I was extremely depressed and claustrophobic and hated being in that space and can remember being very angry, like how much longer is this going to take and at some point I kicked myself out of the womb, isn’t that how we all come into the world? Pissed off kicking and crying? ๐ค
Stop telling me what I remember
I’m sick of being surpressed
Living in doubt
Y’all uploaded a load of corrupt data into my programming
Maybe the brain injury caused me to be in a fractal state
I’m smart but I’m also stupid and I’m not a genius but sometimes I can solve genius problems without instruction and that impresses the math teachers a hella lot
But not enough for extra credit ๐
Teacher: how did you do this, we didn’t go over this in class and it’s one of the hard ones (is impressed by my work which we had to show)
Me: what do you mean, we didn’t have to do this problem? *gasp* it took ten minutes (that means an hour)
Him: nope, wasn’t one of the homework assignments and we didn’t even discuss it because it’s so difficult *hands me paper back with a graded 50 on it* but I’m impressed you got half the problems right this time, it means you retained half
Me: *sobs real tears*
That was college math for me
And my teacher would literally get happy when I got a 50 on my test because he went, “that means you understood half of it” and I never saw the reward of his hard work of teaching like he did
I was literally the only student failing but I still managed to pass because homework outweighed the low scores and I did do the extra credit anytime we could
Apparently I also did problems we didn’t even need to do ๐
I got the really really hard ones right without any instruction
And without a grade or extra credit ๐คข
Yeah I’m never going to forget that one
Math has made me cry, just as much as any boyfriend (potentially way more)
I iz stupid nerd ๐ค
Anyway I should stop googling signs of sinkholes when they are completely in front of me and I just thought you should know that 14-year-old girl burned up alive in that condo collapse because the people out there that we trust keep cutting corners to pocket their gold
And also insurance takes care of everything so they don’t have to have a conscience or to even feel responsible for anything, it’s like they found a way to cheat God and the system
If you mess up in any job you get into trouble, except in the medical field where you can literally get away with murder
Imagine if patients had to fill out a form about their medical treatment and those reflected in the evaluations these doctors get bi-annually
But these nurses and doctors just get to do whatever the fuck they want, don’t they
You can get your voice back a little bit by filling out official complaints with advocacy, requesting new care teams, leaving 1 star reviews everywhere you can, especially on Google or an official website – image is everything to these beasts.
I took mine higher and filed several complaints at the WhiteHouse VA about the Daytona VA OPC and did leave a Google review
The realtors are coming out finally and saying, “yes in deed the housing market is rigged” and I’ve been saying this since the fucking 90s!
Do you think I wanted to rent all of my entire life or to get stuck in an abusive marriage just to be able to have a broken home?
Would rather die on the street like Poe
But definitely not with the building collapsing on me in the middle of the night when I’m in my bed trying to sleep or burned alive ๐
I’m off Twitter, deleted my account and data without requesting a copy
I’m not touching crypto or the Metaverse
I see Big Bro spent a shit ton of money so Instagram can now say “Meta”
Funny how the government told us gambling was illegal but then made every aspect of our lives about gambling and social media is no longer a social aspect
There’s nothing social about it anymore
We are the products
And you better believe these top creators are paying to play because they’ve made a game out of it
And now I see famous actors collaborating with TikTok influencers ๐
Because big networks have moved onto TikTok
And they for sure are paying to be in the FYP
People with checkmarks are the enemy and they hog everything
There’s nothing social about social media anymore
We were all played
And stop giving them your damn opinion on everything because they just use it against us!
If you’re gonna give your opinion at least get paid for it with something more than spam
ugg it’s 2 am, I was sleeping
But my nightmare awoke me but then reality was worse than my nightmare ๐ฉ
I reckon I’m gonna have to bite the WordPress hook and upgrade my personal plan to the premium plan since I’ve used up all my 6GB of storage space ๐ and just pretend the universe is pushing me to upgrade my plan so I can have more media space to upload photos but also unpack yeti from its box to do soft poetry readings and spoken word
To be fair, I have been dying
But I will also at some point maybe be producing some subscriber only content on my blog/website instead of over on OnlyFans (I don’t do porn or self-gratification, I’m an artist and do nude photography – many say softcore is obsolete, but I’ll be offering it here on my website instead- and if someone could please teach me how to set up subscriptions on WP instead of me having to go figure it out through WordPress that would be great)
I’m already on a plan that allows subscriptions and donations, I’ve just used up all my media space and either need to delete stuff off my website or upgrade and at this point it’s time to upgrade because I’m growing aren’t I? I have over 1000 followers now and nearly 100,000 views!! ๐
So when I’m not dying and can put my head into the WordPress books I will figure out how to do the subscriber only content (this won’t be for every post, just my random spicer content)!
Not everyone wants to see my exclusive Rated R nude content but I’m tired of giving other platforms my visitors – especially when most platforms I have zero voice as an artist
I don’t want to push people to another platform when they come to visit my website
I want you to stay here in heaven with me ๐
GIVE ME ALL YOUR ATTENTION ๐คฉ
I was at urgent care yesterday again so I don’t know how quickly I’ll be able to get stuff going but just know stuff is in the pipeline and I would like to get some more nude content out to you, it will be through my own website though, you won’t have to leave or sign-up anywhere else
I’m indecisive on what I’m doing with my Patreon account but I’ve been very grateful for your support over the years!
Because of it, my website has and remains advertisement free (zero spam)!
If you sign up for my blog posts via email, advertising will never be in your email either! Zero spam!
I may be the last place on earth that’s free of advertising ๐ค
But you won’t have to worry about accidentally hitting an advertisement when scrolling or installing spyware or a virus
You can scroll freely without a condom ahem ๐คช
I’m dealing with heart and lung issues since I got the vaccine – I’m still a weirdo tho and I miss doing the cosplay for you to accompany the rants, poetry and prose!
I will definitely upgrade my plan soon so I can at least start attaching photographs again to my rants and poetry
It may be the new year before I start any subscription only content!
I may do it via donation instead of subscription (like where you can pay a small fee to unlock the post)…
Stay tuned
Dying but not dead…
PSST… I have a free OnlyFans and will be active there when I’m feeling better – thank you for subscribing! My inbox is open there to say hello! I’ll let everyone know when I’m back and active! I’ll be going live over there to show you the beach and things! Softcore ๐คช
Edgar Allan Poe died naked on the street, think about that
And John Jones stuck upside down in a cave
You’re only alive so 13 families who control everything in the world don’t have to fucking work and they will squeeze every penny out of you from birth until death
Your written will means shit
It will be ignored
I finally learned the lesson that Chester Bennington and Jesus had been trying to teach
That possessions don’t really matter much
It took Big Brother (Mark Fuckerberg) threatening to remove my intellectual property against my will and over bullshit violations, that I deleted nearly every social media account and email, without asking for my data.
Now he’s pressing virtual reality and the Metaverse on me
I will jump from a bridge before I ever enter
He pushed me too far
He’s the face of pure evil
I can’t look at him
I can’t look at half of Hollywood who have deformed their faces with plastic surgery
I can’t stand the Hollywood propaganda and the underlining bullshit that they feed us in film
Everything is a rerun of what GENX has already done
I’m not supporting you
Your acting sucks
Fuck society
Culture is a sham
Everything is a lie
EVERYTHING
My purpose belongs to the wind
I will be returning to Mother Earth soon
My only real mother
The only one I’ve ever had
And sometimes I learn the lesson the hard way
I don’t want to approach my death upside down
Or naked on the street mad out me mind
I’m already out of my mind
And I nearly caught my mysterious death and I did wind up upside down but John Jones has been helping me out a little bit because the medical staff on earth are demons
He bought me a little time
Chilling on his wing
Today I laid down to film the clouds and the sun
I’m working with WordPress to get my blog fixed so I can start uploading photos again, but they requested I do some stuff from my laptop and I was at the beach all day without it
Then came home and ate a sandwich and passed out until now
Now I need to take my dog out and stare at the full moon (provided it’s not 9 degrees outside) ((it’s not, lower 70s, full moon, after midnight)) ๐
My left lung still isn’t expanding all the way
And I’m still waiting to see a lung specialist
I sleep
A lot
My heart is also still healing from heart inflammation
I don’t like to put any stress on my heart
I cry a lot
And sleep
Cry and sleep
๐
Made you a little video of the sunshine I took today (although now it’s after midnight so technically it was yesterday/Sunday)
I laid down to film the beautiful 3d clouds and sun
I laid down for this shot
It’s been beautiful weather at the beach and everybody has been coming to enjoy it because the ocean has decided to give us a little bit back for Christmas I guess
Saturday there was so much going on, People were surfing the red high tides, flying kites, riding bikes, couples holding hands, treasure hunting, I filmed it all
Everyone is in the Christmas spirit and just enjoying the calm
This is the part of the season where we don’t have to worry about the tourist as much
And there are other parts of the beach that I can go that’s not busy
I don’t want to be kidnapped ๐
And I prefer staying near the lifeguards that are on duty when they are there ๐
The beach has been so much more inviting these days and I haven’t been screaming like a little girl ๐ฌ
But I can’t upload any fucking photos and I haven’t done what WordPress has asked me to do for my laptop yet- so you know whatever- dying
I REFUSE to die in or around a hospital setting
I don’t even want anybody to see me dead and that is a real issue for me currently
So I’m trying not to die because I don’t have all that shit together yet, I don’t have a coffin, I don’t have a fucking plot of land, I don’t want to be cremated, there’s a lot of shit going against me right now, especially with the fact that I’m having cardiovascular issues because I chose to get fucking vaccinated with underlying health issues ๐ก
Found myself upside down with John
And I am pissed he is still there
Like gut wrenching agony
I probably have cried more from him in 2 months than his wife did in the three years it took her to move on and remarry ๐๐
John is rubbing my right shoulder blade currently cuz I haven’t learned to forgive people yet and he wants me calm
He did snicker about my NASA comment tho
God has a sense of humor
I wonder if the 13 evil families in charge are ready for Armageddon because if they keep pushing me I’m that program in the matrix doing what it’s not supposed to be doing and I’m very unhinged
Happy to say it already got 2 likes and 30 views๐
Don’t wanna remove it now
I also saw a TikTok from a popular creator who said if your videos are getting at least 100 to 200 views on its own, then you’re doing good
One thing I’ve noticed, posting 2 similar videos back-to-back and hashtags do nothing for me
If anything, hashtags are reason for the algorithm to study my behavior and I like to fucking confuse it from time to time
But mostly the algorithm likes to shadowban me
And I’ve had many videos that was not violating any guidelines (that I’m aware of) sit at zero views
I hate censorship
I will never pay to play
But that doesn’t stop TikTok from peer pressuring me and fucking with my account to see if I will bite
I’ve taken screenshots but I haven’t been able to share a fucking thing in several days because WordPress fucking sucks and I need a new hosting site
But I’m dying and just basically sleeping and eating
There’s an extermination going on right now because the 13 families in charge don’t want to pay people who are retired, now they want us off the fucking system, they don’t want us using supplies, they don’t want to pay us what we deserve in our time to fucking retire ๐๐
To my comrades who have chosen not to get the VAX, this isn’t our fucking country anymore
We’ve been gaslit for so long
But now I know why the soldiers are killing themselves in increasingly mass numbers and there are more soldiers that die by suicide than on the battlefield…
Please hold on
There is a war going on still
I need you to hold fast
Don’t forget your training
We are at war
The system is your enemy and those fighting for it
Just stand fast
Stay alert, stay alive
Don’t engage with the enemy
Don’t self-destruct
I need you still
Prep your defenses
Stock pile food and water
If I’m wrong, in three years you can have a Armageddon party and eat all the food and then just restock up OK
I’m not wrong
Take your frustration out on target practice
Take a cold shower
Do something to stop the trigger
For me it requires a different stimulation and often two or three different things so
Find what works for you
Don’t engage
Half the battle is within
There’s a spiritual war going on
If you feel lost, that’s okay
Stay near the light, don’t get burned
Be a Marine
Out of sight, out of mind
Eyes forward
I got your back
Stay low
P.S. you may feel like you’ve done what you were to do, you may feel confused on what is next
This is part of ascending with new Earth
She goes through changes
This is how life can evolve
Evil doesn’t win forever
You gotta hold tight
Just hang on…
Focus on healing (save yourself)
You feel like you’re waiting right?
You feel lost?
You missed a step?
What’s next?
We’re in the middle of war
A spiritual war
God needs you silent
Just listen
The demons will expose themselves
They’re collapsing under the weight of the change
You’re exactly where you need to be to ascend
If not, get right with God
You know the right one
Cuz he’s in you and speaking right now
Don’t forget who you are
Earth is a negative frequency
It’s a low charge
You need positivity to ascend
Listen, your body is a channel
It’s a conductor
Your heart is electric
So is the sun
And I’m not talking about shit you plug into your wall, get out of your box please
You are mostly made of water and so is the earth
I’ll get into connection another time
I’m definitely a sunworshipper – just can’t be in it long ๐คช
I fry not tan
The universe is so magical but it’s dangerous and also scary
I’m still just a little girl
I’ll always be a little angel ๐
One of God’s favorite ๐คฉ
You can choose to do good things or you can choose to do bad things
I wanna ascend
This is hell
There’s so much more fulfillment in the light than there is the dark which is why you have to consistently go to your porn because it’s not very fulfilling at all
I love you ๐
I’m sorry I can’t post photos yet but I haven’t done what WordPress asked me to do because I’ve been dying (and fuck all these timeline glitches that I keep getting- they don’t want me to ascend)
